What can American women learn from foreign women?

[Anonymous]

I think American women, the wealthier and the more educated they are, impose too many rules and regulations on themselves. The rules are stiffening, and those who don’t follow those ever-multiplying rules are getting judged by fellow women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are from a Middle Eastern culture and I think there is so much pressure on women in that culture to conform to the following standard:

- educated with a high paying career
- keep up their looks, don’t get fat, dress pretty and wear makeup and have long glossy black hair
- maintain an attractive, clean home and know how to cook, or you will look bad
- religious (but you still have to look sexy) and raising children to behave appropriately and follow cultural expectations

The men have the following expectations:
- have a job

I think American men may find this nightmare sort of awesome.

Uh, no. In patriarchal cultures, men have to be rich to have social value. (Actually, this is true in all cultures to varying degrees.)

She meant having a job is the only expectation for men while women have to be perfect in almost every way.

So an American man with a decent job who is even remotely helpful in other ways is a step up from their own men. This is true about a lot of foreign cultures as you can see from this thread.

So while American men could be better, they are better than most. So it makes sense for them to look abroad for women who will compare them to their local men.

Actually, the Middle East is still one of the few remaining places on Earth where women can choose to remain homemakers without losing any social standing. I am married to an Arab and no, women are not all expected to have a high-paying career. In fact, it is assumed that once you marry, your family becomes your priority. Financial support is the duty of the husband, not the wife.

Also, if you are from a religious family, you are not expected to dress sexy at all. In fact, the window of acceptable dressing for you is quite narrow.

So I think you're describing a very small subset of the Middle East culture.

To add to this, I found the Middle East to be one of the few places where it is assumed that a woman who works will have household help. Our Arab relatives would find it quite wild that a woman can be expected to work AND cook and clean. Quite simply, if the wife works and brings in income, she will outsource most of the household work. Someone will come to cook, clean and tend to the children.

Yes, I am describing a subset, often higher class (hence the career expectations) and Christian who immigrate and therefore can’t get the cheap/nearly slave labor you can acquire in the Middle East. The standards for homemaking stay the same even if the country changes. I was just using it as an example of how absurd the standards for “foreign” women can get.

But the standards you describe can only be held by an Arab man. No American man would expect all that from a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with stereotypical American women is that they don't think they have anything to learn. From anyone. Ever.

Ironically
If you are familiar with history
Foreign women were not ashamed to march in NY and declare that in their home country women had the right to vote

You talking about a century ago when American women were more tolerable? I thought we were talking about present day women.

American women have way too much masculine energy. Very unappealing. And they're not even aware of it.

The wording might be offensive but this is probably the stereotypical impression that foreign men have of American women.
Not everyone obviously, but on average they seem to have more masculine energy (loud, talkative, opinionated, assertive, demanding, intimidating, big) compared to foreign women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with stereotypical American women is that they don't think they have anything to learn. From anyone. Ever.

Ironically
If you are familiar with history
Foreign women were not ashamed to march in NY and declare that in their home country women had the right to vote

You talking about a century ago when American women were more tolerable? I thought we were talking about present day women.

American women have way too much masculine energy. Very unappealing. And they're not even aware of it.

The wording might be offensive but this is probably the stereotypical impression that foreign men have of American women.
Not everyone obviously, but on average they seem to have more masculine energy (loud, talkative, opinionated, assertive, demanding, intimidating, big) compared to foreign women.

💯

[Anonymous]

My white American husband says he likes that I like to give hugs, caring. But isn't that like any woman? Lol everyone is different.

I'm Hispanic and American now. Well since I'm from South America I always been an American lol.
I love my husband, we like anime, geek stuff. He's learning Spanish day by day. So cute. I like him, he's caring and a good person. I'm very empathetic, I tend to cry if I can't help others in pain. It's a world full of pain, especially poor people are suffering so much with covid, climate change that creates extreme weathers events

Help those in need, its like spending a cup of Starbucks. And there are so many abandoned poor pets in shelters. Shelters are so full t_t

[Anonymous]

Oh my English suckss but I'm learning

[Anonymous]

Sex? I know my cousin is very sexual and her white bf is tired haha can't handle a sexy latina. Well just that guy. Not everyone is the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex? I know my cousin is very sexual and her white bf is tired haha can't handle a sexy latina. Well just that guy. Not everyone is the same

Ana de armas - American women could learn a lot more from her than Taylor swift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are from a Middle Eastern culture and I think there is so much pressure on women in that culture to conform to the following standard:

- educated with a high paying career
- keep up their looks, don’t get fat, dress pretty and wear makeup and have long glossy black hair
- maintain an attractive, clean home and know how to cook, or you will look bad
- religious (but you still have to look sexy) and raising children to behave appropriately and follow cultural expectations

The men have the following expectations:
- have a job

I think American men may find this nightmare sort of awesome.

Uh, no. In patriarchal cultures, men have to be rich to have social value. (Actually, this is true in all cultures to varying degrees.)

She meant having a job is the only expectation for men while women have to be perfect in almost every way.

So an American man with a decent job who is even remotely helpful in other ways is a step up from their own men. This is true about a lot of foreign cultures as you can see from this thread.

So while American men could be better, they are better than most. So it makes sense for them to look abroad for women who will compare them to their local men.

Actually, the Middle East is still one of the few remaining places on Earth where women can choose to remain homemakers without losing any social standing. I am married to an Arab and no, women are not all expected to have a high-paying career. In fact, it is assumed that once you marry, your family becomes your priority. Financial support is the duty of the husband, not the wife.

Also, if you are from a religious family, you are not expected to dress sexy at all. In fact, the window of acceptable dressing for you is quite narrow.

So I think you're describing a very small subset of the Middle East culture.

To add to this, I found the Middle East to be one of the few places where it is assumed that a woman who works will have household help. Our Arab relatives would find it quite wild that a woman can be expected to work AND cook and clean. Quite simply, if the wife works and brings in income, she will outsource most of the household work. Someone will come to cook, clean and tend to the children.

Yes, I am describing a subset, often higher class (hence the career expectations) and Christian who immigrate and therefore can’t get the cheap/nearly slave labor you can acquire in the Middle East. The standards for homemaking stay the same even if the country changes. I was just using it as an example of how absurd the standards for “foreign” women can get.

But the standards you describe can only be held by an Arab man. No American man would expect all that from a wife.

I’m not talking about standards within the marriage. These are standards held by women imposing them on themselves and on other women. Even if the husband’s expectations are low. That is how patriarchy works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since there are quite a few men, on here and in the wild, who seem to look abroad for romantic relationships and consider foreign or foreign-born women higher value. Since I can’t change my nation of birth, what lessons can I learn from foreign women (any nationality) that make them more appealing?

To address the stereotypes: I’m not fat or even close to it, I’m not bossy, I don’t *think* I act entitled although I can’t really judge that myself, I don’t rant about the “patriarchy,” I don’t have tattoos or blue hair, and I don’t think gender norms are inherently bad.

I lived and worked abroad and many of the American workers ended up marrying the local women. It was not true the other way around with American women and local men, although I'm sure the local men would've wanted the American women.

So here's the honest answer if you want to be like these "foreign" (your term, ew) women - be more desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t expect you man to be a woman. Don’t expect him to see, understand or emotionally support you.

So what do foreign women see a man is good for? If they aren't to emotionally support you or understand you in any way?

Companionship, sex, economics, being partnered in a sexist society, decision making, child rearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with stereotypical American women is that they don't think they have anything to learn. From anyone. Ever.

Ironically
If you are familiar with history
Foreign women were not ashamed to march in NY and declare that in their home country women had the right to vote

You talking about a century ago when American women were more tolerable? I thought we were talking about present day women.

American women have way too much masculine energy. Very unappealing. And they're not even aware of it.

The wording might be offensive but this is probably the stereotypical impression that foreign men have of American women.
Not everyone obviously, but on average they seem to have more masculine energy (loud, talkative, opinionated, assertive, demanding, intimidating, big) compared to foreign women.

💯

But this is a good thing for women and American society. Women should not want to mold themselves into the male ideal if they end up quiet, docile, neutral beings with only their caretaking and sexual appeal to offer. How does that help women advance and secure their own place in society? That only helps men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have learned from this thread is that both men and women would like to marry a subservient stereotype of a foreign woman.

Me too. I am a woman but I would like someone to iron my clothes.

Why are you ironing clothes in this day and age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with stereotypical American women is that they don't think they have anything to learn. From anyone. Ever.

Ironically
If you are familiar with history
Foreign women were not ashamed to march in NY and declare that in their home country women had the right to vote

You talking about a century ago when American women were more tolerable? I thought we were talking about present day women.

American women have way too much masculine energy. Very unappealing. And they're not even aware of it.

The wording might be offensive but this is probably the stereotypical impression that foreign men have of American women.
Not everyone obviously, but on average they seem to have more masculine energy (loud, talkative, opinionated, assertive, demanding, intimidating, big) compared to foreign women.

💯

But this is a good thing for women and American society. Women should not want to mold themselves into the male ideal if they end up quiet, docile, neutral beings with only their caretaking and sexual appeal to offer. How does that help women advance and secure their own place in society? That only helps men.

+1

Also, lots of American women marry great men without changing who they are. I'm loud, opinionated, have been accused of being intimidating, etc. Some men criticized me for that but a) I did not GAF about their opinion and b) I knew I'd rather be single than change for the sake of a guy. It would have been a bait and switch anyway, lol.

And lumping all European women into one basket is sort of funny. Greta Thunberg is just one of many European women who is also not Andrew-Tate approved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t expect you man to be a woman. Don’t expect him to see, understand or emotionally support you.

So what do foreign women see a man is good for? If they aren't to emotionally support you or understand you in any way?

Companionship, sex, economics, being partnered in a sexist society, decision making, child rearing.

Strike out the companionship part. They get some companionship from men, but girlfriends can completely meet this need.

The rest of the list is spot on.