Are rich & famous people using surrogates…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend used a surrogate and she was a white nurse, married to a guy who had some other kind of middle class job. Where are you all getting that surrogates are poor and of color?

I always wonder how surrogates explain their pregnancy. If they have other kids is it "yes, I am pregnant, but we don't get to keep this baby." Is it confusing for their kids in that situation?

Do they get maternity leave is it's not their baby to bond with?

I hadn't thought of this. I have always imagined that they didn't work while pregnant because they were getting paid but that's dumb. I would guess they could take leave for the birth and sometime after at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of people who have used a surrogate. It was always a last resort. No one was exploited and a lot of truly wonderful people are now alive as a result.

The only time I had an icky feeling about it was when a new neighbor faked a pregnancy while using a surrogate. She used fake bellies, but would sometimes neglect to put them on. We both “went into labor and came back from the hospital” the same month, but her daughter was a good two months older than mine.

I get where the neighbor was coming from, but if I knew other people would too and eventually her daughter will find out (not from me!)!!! I just wish neighbor would be truthful with her child. I think it’s detrimental to lie about these things.

Wasn’t that what Adrienne Maloof from RHOBH did? In one episode she told her birth story with details about pushing, etc. Somehow Brandi Granville knew she was lying and had used a surrogate and it caused a kerfuffle but it was true. Sad that I know all this but that was a bizarre idea to me at the time, about ten years ago, and now I’ve heard rumors of other people doing this exact thing. I’m assuming she must have pretended to be pregnant too, like your neighbor.

[Anonymous]

^^pretending meaning she wore the fake belly. I’m saying that was the bizarre part, not just using a surrogate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having almost died giving birth, I have no issues using a surrogate but also have huge issues using a surrogate. If it was safer to give birth I would have issues with surrogacy.

The dangers of child birth are what make me question surrogacy. But then again people risk their lives for lots of things so as long as it’s an informed decision and made freely I guess I don’t have a problem with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having almost died giving birth, I have no issues using a surrogate but also have huge issues using a surrogate. If it was safer to give birth I would have issues with surrogacy.

The dangers of child birth are what make me question surrogacy. But then again people risk their lives for lots of things so as long as it’s an informed decision and made freely I guess I don’t have a problem with it.

Some women almost die in childbirth, but other women are totally fine. If you use an agency, the surrogates are heavily screened. They’ve all had children and easy pregnancies, with no resulting health problems. Those are the ones who are chosen. Childbirth is a breeze for some women. (It wasn’t bad for me because I’ve got birthing hips!) Obviously, it’s not for everyone, but it’s really easy money and very gratifying for some women.

[Anonymous]

I used a surrogate for my second after my stillborn.

Many surrogates do it simply for the money. Usually, they are required to have completed their own family - meaning they don't want any additional children of their own. Our agency who found our surrogate told me that a lot of the surrogates are either nurses, and are truly doing it to help others, and military wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having almost died giving birth, I have no issues using a surrogate but also have huge issues using a surrogate. If it was safer to give birth I would have issues with surrogacy.

The dangers of child birth are what make me question surrogacy. But then again people risk their lives for lots of things so as long as it’s an informed decision and made freely I guess I don’t have a problem with it.

Some women almost die in childbirth, but other women are totally fine. If you use an agency, the surrogates are heavily screened. They’ve all had children and easy pregnancies, with no resulting health problems. Those are the ones who are chosen. Childbirth is a breeze for some women. (It wasn’t bad for me because I’ve got birthing hips!) Obviously, it’s not for everyone, but it’s really easy money and very gratifying for some women.

It goes beyond birth. What about incontinence, perineal issues, stretch marks, loose skin, umbilical hernias, back pain due to epidural, saggy breasts... Do the surrogates just have to live with this afterwards with no recourse?

[Anonymous]

How much do surrogates get paid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having almost died giving birth, I have no issues using a surrogate but also have huge issues using a surrogate. If it was safer to give birth I would have issues with surrogacy.

The dangers of child birth are what make me question surrogacy. But then again people risk their lives for lots of things so as long as it’s an informed decision and made freely I guess I don’t have a problem with it.

Some women almost die in childbirth, but other women are totally fine. If you use an agency, the surrogates are heavily screened. They’ve all had children and easy pregnancies, with no resulting health problems. Those are the ones who are chosen. Childbirth is a breeze for some women. (It wasn’t bad for me because I’ve got birthing hips!) Obviously, it’s not for everyone, but it’s really easy money and very gratifying for some women.

It goes beyond birth. What about incontinence, perineal issues, stretch marks, loose skin, umbilical hernias, back pain due to epidural, saggy breasts... Do the surrogates just have to live with this afterwards with no recourse?

I’ve had two pregnancies live births and literally none of those things have happened to me. And I was old when I got pregnant (39 and 41)! The only difference is I started to sweat more, but I hear that comes with being a woman in your 40s.

Can you open your mind up just a little and imagine that some women have easy peasy experiences with pregnancy and childbirth? I did!

Those are the types of women who decide and are subsequently chosen to be surrogates. The agencies have no incentive in choosing women who will proceed to sue them for their subsequent medical issues.

Your experiences don’t speak to everyone else’s! I can’t run more than a mile without my knees hurting. Does that mean that no one should run marathons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having almost died giving birth, I have no issues using a surrogate but also have huge issues using a surrogate. If it was safer to give birth I would have issues with surrogacy.

The dangers of child birth are what make me question surrogacy. But then again people risk their lives for lots of things so as long as it’s an informed decision and made freely I guess I don’t have a problem with it.

Some women almost die in childbirth, but other women are totally fine. If you use an agency, the surrogates are heavily screened. They’ve all had children and easy pregnancies, with no resulting health problems. Those are the ones who are chosen. Childbirth is a breeze for some women. (It wasn’t bad for me because I’ve got birthing hips!) Obviously, it’s not for everyone, but it’s really easy money and very gratifying for some women.

It goes beyond birth. What about incontinence, perineal issues, stretch marks, loose skin, umbilical hernias, back pain due to epidural, saggy breasts... Do the surrogates just have to live with this afterwards with no recourse?

The type of woman who decides to be a surrogate is generally someone who hasn't had any of these issues in the past and/or isn't concerned with these potential risks. They're similar to women who don't blink at the idea of having 10 kids of their own.

[Anonymous]

I met a surrogate at one of my kid's activities recently. She was very matter-of-fact about it -- she'd just volunteer "this is a surrogacy" regarding her pregnancy when asked about it.

She is a SAHM with her own kids, but only 29 and her prior pregnancies were really easy. She knew she didn't want any more kids but actually enjoyed being pregnant, and realized after having her younger child that surrogacy would be a relatively easy (for her) way to instantly fund her kid's college funds or build up a down payment on a house in a better school district.

She said some aspects of it can be invasive -- she is required to disclose all her medical records related to the pregnancy to the parents, which can feel a little exposing at first. But she got used to it and now it's normal.

I haven't seen her since she had the baby. Hopefully it went well and the parents are thrilled to have a child and she is recovering well.

I had a tough pregnancy with HG and hip/back alignment issues, and then had PPD. So I couldn't imagine doing this. But I get that for people who have good pregnancies, it could be a practical, reasonable choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Where are all the rich women baristas? Where are all the rich women housekeepers? Where are all the rich women nurses? Where are all the rich women waiters? Where are all the rich women garage mechanics? Where are all the rich women gardeners? WOW, I didn't realize how much of the American workforce is exploited, on the basis that not very many rich people do those jobs? All the liberals with their vanity lattes have no problem exploiting poor women!

Please don't include nurses on the list with housekeepers and baristas-nurses (at least not RN's) are not "poor" and most have bachelor's degrees. My sister is an an RN and she made $100k last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met a surrogate at one of my kid's activities recently. She was very matter-of-fact about it -- she'd just volunteer "this is a surrogacy" regarding her pregnancy when asked about it.

She is a SAHM with her own kids, but only 29 and her prior pregnancies were really easy. She knew she didn't want any more kids but actually enjoyed being pregnant, and realized after having her younger child that surrogacy would be a relatively easy (for her) way to instantly fund her kid's college funds or build up a down payment on a house in a better school district.

She said some aspects of it can be invasive -- she is required to disclose all her medical records related to the pregnancy to the parents, which can feel a little exposing at first. But she got used to it and now it's normal.

I haven't seen her since she had the baby. Hopefully it went well and the parents are thrilled to have a child and she is recovering well.

I had a tough pregnancy with HG and hip/back alignment issues, and then had PPD. So I couldn't imagine doing this. But I get that for people who have good pregnancies, it could be a practical, reasonable choice.

I like being pregnant and could see how if I needed money, surrogacy would be a good option. But I also think prostitution should be legal