DS given melatonin gummies as prank by “friends at sleepover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DS don’t want you to contact the other kids’ parents so I wouldn’t. Don’t dismss his request. I had a similar situation and didn’t listen to my DS, we ended having to leave the school because he got branded. He struggled at the next school.. for us it wasn’t worth not listening to our child

This is horrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DS don’t want you to contact the other kids’ parents so I wouldn’t. Don’t dismss his request. I had a similar situation and didn’t listen to my DS, we ended having to leave the school because he got branded. He struggled at the next school.. for us it wasn’t worth not listening to our child

There is some truth to this. Of course you can't ignore the situation but you might have to scale back your response to respect DS wishes.
I previously said that you should let him go to today's practice with the intention that it will be the last one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry this happened to your son. It is such a violation. I am sure he wants to brush it under the rug and pretend it is no big deal. But it is a very big deal. Please consider setting him up with a counselor to talk through it, even if he doesn’t want to. Might be helpful to just have someone to check in with every couple of months as he processes it. This will stay with him for a long time.

You must tell the other parents. Do you have a phone list? I would start with the host and then work your way down the list. Write out a script for yourself. You could even read them your OP. Tell them you are letting them know because you would want to know if this was something your child did. If they are rude or critical or dismissive, do not engage, just thank them for the time and end the call. Try to stay neutral and not accusatory. The most generous interpretation is that they were foolish. Approach it that way with the other parents. But you have to let them know.

If this is a travel soccer team I’d tell the coach.

I think the therapist idea is good advice. I also think we need to consider how we’d feel if this was a girl. Would we feel differently and why? I am on team tell the hosts, do feel like this teen is being bullied, and also agree that if it’s a travel team the coach needs to be told. It doesn’t even matter that melatonin is “only” melatonin. It’s a betrayal and very hurtful.

[Anonymous]

7:18 poster again. This is why I think this is bullying and why this needs to be taken extra seriously: “He’s a great kid but has some issues socializing and so often becomes the target of his peers.”

[Anonymous]

Np. I am so sorry this happened. My thoughts:

1. Tell the school. I’m no longer in DMV but at our public kids can be disciplined for activities that take place outside school. They may be able to help determine whether anything has been uploaded to social media.

You also don’t want your kid to have any classes with these boys and they should have different lunch periods.

2. Tell the coach. He has a problem on his team and needs to know.

3. Tell the parents. I like the idea of a group email to all of them. You shouldn’t have to send 14 separate emails.

4. Help for your son: therapist to process the incident and confirm it was not his fault. Also, to increase confidence so he learns that these guys are not his friends and that he should not aspire to be friends with him.

Good luck and please keep us posted. Your kid sounds awesome and he does not need to hang out with these jerks.

[Anonymous]

You must tell the parents. These are the kids that will be sodomizing kids during pledging in their frat houses.

[Anonymous]

File a police report. Ruin their lives.

[Anonymous]

We live in the age where one gummy, laced with fentanyl is killing kids. One and done. Although that’s not the situation here, there is a connection and these kids need to be educated. What these kids did is wrong on so many levels. Their parents absolutely need to know so they can educate them of the dangers of giving someone a substance/supplement without their knowledge, and how it could have dire consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must tell the parents. These are the kids that will be sodomizing kids during pledging in their frat houses.

Yes. This still happens and starts with that group mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np. I am so sorry this happened. My thoughts:

1. Tell the school. I’m no longer in DMV but at our public kids can be disciplined for activities that take place outside school. They may be able to help determine whether anything has been uploaded to social media.

You also don’t want your kid to have any classes with these boys and they should have different lunch periods.

2. Tell the coach. He has a problem on his team and needs to know.

3. Tell the parents. I like the idea of a group email to all of them. You shouldn’t have to send 14 separate emails.

4. Help for your son: therapist to process the incident and confirm it was not his fault. Also, to increase confidence so he learns that these guys are not his friends and that he should not aspire to be friends with him.

Good luck and please keep us posted. Your kid sounds awesome and he does not need to hang out with these jerks.

This is unnecessary and very likely impossible.

[Anonymous]

The coach is in no way responsible for what happened.
The school is not responsible.

I'd advise the coach of what happened when and why you are moving your kid to another soccer team.

[Anonymous]

OP, Have you had time to share what happened to your spouse? Does your spouse have any additional thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np. I am so sorry this happened. My thoughts:

1. Tell the school. I’m no longer in DMV but at our public kids can be disciplined for activities that take place outside school. They may be able to help determine whether anything has been uploaded to social media.

You also don’t want your kid to have any classes with these boys and they should have different lunch periods.

2. Tell the coach. He has a problem on his team and needs to know.

3. Tell the parents. I like the idea of a group email to all of them. You shouldn’t have to send 14 separate emails.

4. Help for your son: therapist to process the incident and confirm it was not his fault. Also, to increase confidence so he learns that these guys are not his friends and that he should not aspire to be friends with him.

Good luck and please keep us posted. Your kid sounds awesome and he does not need to hang out with these jerks.

This is unnecessary and very likely impossible.

Restraining order

[Anonymous]

OP, 9 pages of DCUM consensus. I hope you reached out last night to all of the parents. Your son was drugged. This is NOT ok.

You said there were 14 boys and I'm sure not all of them were involved or planned the "prank". If I was one of the parent of one of those kids, I would want to know too.

[Anonymous]

The coach is not responsible.

The event was held at a parents house.

This was not a sporting event.

This is strictly on the parent who hosted the party and the boys who drugged your son.