HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?

[Anonymous]

They don’t have a life! Yet they never started a post. Including and especially a HATE one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really struggling- for a variety of reasons (too identifying to get into but having to do with school culture/how they have handled things with one child) I have come to really dislike our Big 3. We have a rising senior and another High schooler (older than 9th). I feel like its way too late to pull the plug, obviously for our senior. We have spent so much of our savings on this investment and I feel trapped. Obviously we want to do what is best for our kid and pulling a rising senior is not in the cards. Would you pull the younger kid? They are pretty happy and want to stay.

I feel disengaged and even hostile to the school (sorry I really am not being coy- but the details are too revealing). I just pay up and shut up, right?

You’re not alone. I think most parents at some point have probably felt the way you do even though at some schools it is frowned upon by parents to say anything against the school. You can’t move a senior and if your other kid is happy just be grateful they’re happy. My advice is to try to find little ways that you can be involved on your own terms with your own people to feel that you were somewhat happy at the school. You only have a few more years left and you don’t want to regret that you didn’t have any good experiences there especially as you said it is a lot of money to spend. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I just want to say sorry about all these posters. I'm sorry for what your family is going through. I know people who have been in your situation and it's horrible.

I think it may be one defensive poster who has been attacking you for the past few hours. I don't know why they don't have a life

+1

[Anonymous]

Thanks girl. If I hated I’d move

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it is not unreasonable to feel the way you do and I don't know why others are reading this as an indictment of the Big 3 - do you guys really believe that there is no possible universe where NO parent or child could have any experience that made them unhappy at the school?

We didn't love our school by the time our last child went through our school due to some incidents with our older kids, but our child was happy, had friends there, and end of the day we decided to let them stay the course. Just dialed back on engaging with the things I found irritating, focused on the things I did like, and counted down the days. It is hard if you no longer drink the coolaid since so many others define themselves as xyz parents - but doable and you need to try to just minimize the issues and not dwell on it or you will just get more irritated cutting the checks

well put

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By the way, why do I care? There’s a small group of parents who overly focus on things like the learning gap and inadequate communication and placement and never acknowledge the privilege. They actually did start an anonymous petition which children countered in defense of their teachers with their own under their full names. To me, that said everything — there’s a consumer in one corner and there’s an emotionally engaged child in the other for whom this is the biggest time spend in their formative years. Anyone who thinks there isn’t an ideological battle in American schools since the pandemic in naive. I tend to think that using loaded words and not backing these claims up with facts takes something away not from these schools but from the these children. I equally would rally to support any parent whose child was treated unfairly. Just like I trust women I trust the children first, so this is not coming from being enamored with the school or having low expectations. It’s coming from the place of being fair to the children.

Please stop "believing" that you know exactly who the OP is. You are obsessed with this and frankly, it's bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Or what? You’ll meet my DCs in the garage? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - it is not unreasonable to feel the way you do and I don't know why others are reading this as an indictment of the Big 3 - do you guys really believe that there is no possible universe where NO parent or child could have any experience that made them unhappy at the school?

We didn't love our school by the time our last child went through our school due to some incidents with our older kids, but our child was happy, had friends there, and end of the day we decided to let them stay the course. Just dialed back on engaging with the things I found irritating, focused on the things I did like, and counted down the days. It is hard if you no longer drink the coolaid since so many others define themselves as xyz parents - but doable and you need to try to just minimize the issues and not dwell on it or you will just get more irritated cutting the checks

well put

Thanks OP. Stop drinking, how’s that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the way, why do I care? There’s a small group of parents who overly focus on things like the learning gap and inadequate communication and placement and never acknowledge the privilege. They actually did start an anonymous petition which children countered in defense of their teachers with their own under their full names. To me, that said everything — there’s a consumer in one corner and there’s an emotionally engaged child in the other for whom this is the biggest time spend in their formative years. Anyone who thinks there isn’t an ideological battle in American schools since the pandemic in naive. I tend to think that using loaded words and not backing these claims up with facts takes something away not from these schools but from the these children. I equally would rally to support any parent whose child was treated unfairly. Just like I trust women I trust the children first, so this is not coming from being enamored with the school or having low expectations. It’s coming from the place of being fair to the children.

Please stop "believing" that you know exactly who the OP is. You are obsessed with this and frankly, it's bonkers.

Yeah. But you started and keep posting crap? Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the way, why do I care? There’s a small group of parents who overly focus on things like the learning gap and inadequate communication and placement and never acknowledge the privilege. They actually did start an anonymous petition which children countered in defense of their teachers with their own under their full names. To me, that said everything — there’s a consumer in one corner and there’s an emotionally engaged child in the other for whom this is the biggest time spend in their formative years. Anyone who thinks there isn’t an ideological battle in American schools since the pandemic in naive. I tend to think that using loaded words and not backing these claims up with facts takes something away not from these schools but from the these children. I equally would rally to support any parent whose child was treated unfairly. Just like I trust women I trust the children first, so this is not coming from being enamored with the school or having low expectations. It’s coming from the place of being fair to the children.

Please stop "believing" that you know exactly who the OP is. You are obsessed with this and frankly, it's bonkers.

No it’s not, everyone agrees. Also I don’t believe it you did it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the way, why do I care? There’s a small group of parents who overly focus on things like the learning gap and inadequate communication and placement and never acknowledge the privilege. They actually did start an anonymous petition which children countered in defense of their teachers with their own under their full names. To me, that said everything — there’s a consumer in one corner and there’s an emotionally engaged child in the other for whom this is the biggest time spend in their formative years. Anyone who thinks there isn’t an ideological battle in American schools since the pandemic in naive. I tend to think that using loaded words and not backing these claims up with facts takes something away not from these schools but from the these children. I equally would rally to support any parent whose child was treated unfairly. Just like I trust women I trust the children first, so this is not coming from being enamored with the school or having low expectations. It’s coming from the place of being fair to the children.

Please stop "believing" that you know exactly who the OP is. You are obsessed with this and frankly, it's bonkers.

Yeah. But you started and keep posting crap? Ew.

So now you think you know what I have posted too? You are nuts.

[Anonymous]

So nuts. But not nearly as nuts as you. Put the wine down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the way, why do I care? There’s a small group of parents who overly focus on things like the learning gap and inadequate communication and placement and never acknowledge the privilege. They actually did start an anonymous petition which children countered in defense of their teachers with their own under their full names. To me, that said everything — there’s a consumer in one corner and there’s an emotionally engaged child in the other for whom this is the biggest time spend in their formative years. Anyone who thinks there isn’t an ideological battle in American schools since the pandemic in naive. I tend to think that using loaded words and not backing these claims up with facts takes something away not from these schools but from the these children. I equally would rally to support any parent whose child was treated unfairly. Just like I trust women I trust the children first, so this is not coming from being enamored with the school or having low expectations. It’s coming from the place of being fair to the children.

Please stop "believing" that you know exactly who the OP is. You are obsessed with this and frankly, it's bonkers.

Yeah. But you started and keep posting crap? Ew.

OP is looking pretty good in comparison to this poster.

[Anonymous]

Mkay. Put the wine down. Call me in 30 days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is happy, I think you suck it up and keep him there. It should be about him, not you.

DH wasn't thrilled with our kids' private in another city, but the kids enjoyed it and now clear to him - as they are in college - that they received a great education.