Please don’t let your children eat common allergens while playing on public playground equipment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

But here's the thing - at the end of the day, you want other people to have empathy for your kid with allergies. I sincerely hope, I do, that you also remember to have empathy for the struggles other parents are facing, and have some compassion and maybe even a helping hand for them. So many spoiled people, and it's all about me, me, me. My kid with allergies! Yeah well look around you and realize your self centered focus on your child's allergies is not the only problem in the world.

Your kid throwing a fit because they demand a snack 24/7 isn’t an “issue you are facing”. You are just a shitty larent.

A lot of you don’t seem to understand children DIE of food allergies. They die. They don’t come back.

I can't wrap my head around people rolling the dice by taking these kids to the park when we all know full well how awful and selfish everyone else is. Are they trying to prove some sick point by jeopardizing their kids' lives? You're going to have to explain the thought process and why a parent would do this.

I can't wrap my head around people blithely raising their children to give zero consideration to sharing the world kindly with others by taking the most basic, simple steps, which aren't even real sacrifices, to keep strangers a little safer. Are those parents trying to prove some sick point by raising children who have no empathy and never think of NOT doing exactly as they please, when they please, where they please?

The crime of eating almonds!

[Anonymous]

I’m a NP. I see both sides of this. Parents should be mindful that other kids and wipe their children’s hands of snot, peanut butter, whatever and should try not to bring that to the playground. But, kids are kids. They are going to have gross hands. And a parent of a child with allergies or who is immunocrompeomised or whatever needs to approach the world like it is always going to be contaminated. There’s no in between

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

You made OP's kid's situation all about you and the stuff on your plate. We get it, life is hard with a kid who has a condition. I think OP knows a lot about that too. But you aren't seeing that if OP has to stop and ask ask ask ask every parent on a playground please to wipe kids' hands etc., well, her kid's playtime is over by the time she's approached everyone individually. She's not aiming this just at YOU. She's saying she sees multiple kids eating on equipment very frequently, so her plea is a broader one to parents in general to stop that. I"m sure all those parents will say "I cannot be that vigilant all the time" and like you will be nice if asked, but you don't see that the constant asking is as wearing for a parent like OP as focusing on your kid's issues is wearing on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a NP. I see both sides of this. Parents should be mindful that other kids and wipe their children’s hands of snot, peanut butter, whatever and should try not to bring that to the playground. But, kids are kids. They are going to have gross hands. And a parent of a child with allergies or who is immunocrompeomised or whatever needs to approach the world like it is always going to be contaminated. There’s no in between

That...is exactly what the OP is already doing, PP.

She's frustrated with the fact she sees kids eating ON equipment while playing. One way to approach the world, as a person with a serious vulnerability, is to ask others, who are less vulnerable, to have some common courtesy and consideration for those unlike them, so that the vulnerable can get some use out of public spaces intended for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't the assumption have to be that someone there has eaten peanuts. Honestly thats why I don't think much about it, because I'm assuming that you as a parent have to operate as if there are peanuts so whether or not my kid is eating a bar with peanuts in it doesn't really matter.

I'm very compliant with it where there are clear rules (schools, camps etc) and don't feel my kid is being deprived in any way...or even if they were that it would trump the need for safety...but given there aren't these rules at the playground and beyond jerks there are just a lot of people that don't even think about it, don't you just have to assume and act as those someone is eating peanuts there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

You made OP's kid's situation all about you and the stuff on your plate. We get it, life is hard with a kid who has a condition. I think OP knows a lot about that too. But you aren't seeing that if OP has to stop and ask ask ask ask every parent on a playground please to wipe kids' hands etc., well, her kid's playtime is over by the time she's approached everyone individually. She's not aiming this just at YOU. She's saying she sees multiple kids eating on equipment very frequently, so her plea is a broader one to parents in general to stop that. I"m sure all those parents will say "I cannot be that vigilant all the time" and like you will be nice if asked, but you don't see that the constant asking is as wearing for a parent like OP as focusing on your kid's issues is wearing on you.

No, you're not getting it.

I know OP's problems aren't about me, anymore than my problems are about her. My point is: we all have problems, and what OP is asking is for me to prioritize her problems. And I'm not even saying I don't want to. I'm saying I can't. I am at capacity. I am not capable of taking the level of care OP is requesting in order to ensure that her child is safe. It is beyond me, not because I don't care, but because I am incapable of caring to the degree that she needs me to, because I have my hands full taking care of my own problems.

She is asking the impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

You made OP's kid's situation all about you and the stuff on your plate. We get it, life is hard with a kid who has a condition. I think OP knows a lot about that too. But you aren't seeing that if OP has to stop and ask ask ask ask every parent on a playground please to wipe kids' hands etc., well, her kid's playtime is over by the time she's approached everyone individually. She's not aiming this just at YOU. She's saying she sees multiple kids eating on equipment very frequently, so her plea is a broader one to parents in general to stop that. I"m sure all those parents will say "I cannot be that vigilant all the time" and like you will be nice if asked, but you don't see that the constant asking is as wearing for a parent like OP as focusing on your kid's issues is wearing on you.

I’m not the PP but I disagree with this. OP is truly asking everyone else to be vigilant, all the time, about possible peanut residue on the playground. If this is necessary to prevent her child’s severe reaction then she truly does need to be the vigilant one. She needs to go to less populated playgrounds and ask the 3 to 4 other moms there if they mind using the water and soap wipes that OP herself has brought along for them- so no hassle!- due to her child’s severe condition. Until her child is a little older, like 4 or 5, and can more reliably not touch their face on the playground as i am sure OP is being vigilant about teaching them.

I will gladly do what is asked of me by a parent whose child has a severe and life threatening medical condition. But, the onus is on THAT parent to be the vigilant one, not to hope and assume that everyone else will be vigilant all the time , even when not expressly asked to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a NP. I see both sides of this. Parents should be mindful that other kids and wipe their children’s hands of snot, peanut butter, whatever and should try not to bring that to the playground. But, kids are kids. They are going to have gross hands. And a parent of a child with allergies or who is immunocrompeomised or whatever needs to approach the world like it is always going to be contaminated. There’s no in between

That...is exactly what the OP is already doing, PP.

She's frustrated with the fact she sees kids eating ON equipment while playing. One way to approach the world, as a person with a serious vulnerability, is to ask others, who are less vulnerable, to have some common courtesy and consideration for those unlike them, so that the vulnerable can get some use out of public spaces intended for everyone.

Do you really think ALL the parents are going to see these anonymous online pleas and change their behavior?

And even if they did, many of the caregivers at playgrounds are nannies. Do you think OP can convince all the nannies to have this level of vigilance about allergens at the playground? They will not.

We're tilting at windmills here. OP has to find another way to deal with this, I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a NP. I see both sides of this. Parents should be mindful that other kids and wipe their children’s hands of snot, peanut butter, whatever and should try not to bring that to the playground. But, kids are kids. They are going to have gross hands. And a parent of a child with allergies or who is immunocrompeomised or whatever needs to approach the world like it is always going to be contaminated. There’s no in between

That...is exactly what the OP is already doing, PP.

She's frustrated with the fact she sees kids eating ON equipment while playing. One way to approach the world, as a person with a serious vulnerability, is to ask others, who are less vulnerable, to have some common courtesy and consideration for those unlike them, so that the vulnerable can get some use out of public spaces intended for everyone.

I don't think you really understand serious allergies if you think this is a good idea and asking this automatically makes public spaces safe. You are very naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

But here's the thing - at the end of the day, you want other people to have empathy for your kid with allergies. I sincerely hope, I do, that you also remember to have empathy for the struggles other parents are facing, and have some compassion and maybe even a helping hand for them. So many spoiled people, and it's all about me, me, me. My kid with allergies! Yeah well look around you and realize your self centered focus on your child's allergies is not the only problem in the world.

Your kid throwing a fit because they demand a snack 24/7 isn’t an “issue you are facing”. You are just a shitty larent.

A lot of you don’t seem to understand children DIE of food allergies. They die. They don’t come back.

I can't wrap my head around people rolling the dice by taking these kids to the park when we all know full well how awful and selfish everyone else is. Are they trying to prove some sick point by jeopardizing their kids' lives? You're going to have to explain the thought process and why a parent would do this.

I can't wrap my head around people blithely raising their children to give zero consideration to sharing the world kindly with others by taking the most basic, simple steps, which aren't even real sacrifices, to keep strangers a little safer. Are those parents trying to prove some sick point by raising children who have no empathy and never think of NOT doing exactly as they please, when they please, where they please?

The crime of eating almonds!

You choose to miss the point. The "crime" is not the almonds or the eating. The crime is children growing up never having learned to think about someone else but only about doing whatever they want in that moment.

But little trolly troll, I think you're the one posting repeatedly on this thread and probably will come back with another snappy little nothing to try to keep this all going.

[Anonymous]

I dunno man. I'm gen X. My mom would have said "No one is gonna look out for you, but you." I'm all for basic courtesy but this idea that the world must twist and bend in myriad proactive ways for all these hyper specific, individual situations is crazy. We spend so much time teaching our kids to bend for everyone else that there's nothing left for them. Individuals cannot go through life trying to account for every need or accommodation every random person they encounter may possibly have because it's not just peanuts. Its dairy and strawberries and kiwi and corn and dog dander and cat dander and scents and red dye number 5. As for the OP, I'd seek out smaller playgrounds at off times, but in the end, the world is big and busy and everyone has their own things as we've seen with the other posters, so it is best to teach your kid that they need to be accountable for their own health and safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. You have to learn to be ruthless. As you can see, these people don’t care about your kid. They don’t care or she lives or dies. They only care about their child and their comfort.

So what do I do? Grab the snack and throw it out. I don’t care if I make an enemy out of every parent and nanny in the park. You will have to learn to aggressively put your child first because everyone around them won’t ever.

Let them be angry. My child’s right to life is more important than your kids snack.

Uh, in this scenario you’ve now put your hands on the peanut snack—which would be increasing the risk to your child.
You’ve got to think through your reaction a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

But here's the thing - at the end of the day, you want other people to have empathy for your kid with allergies. I sincerely hope, I do, that you also remember to have empathy for the struggles other parents are facing, and have some compassion and maybe even a helping hand for them. So many spoiled people, and it's all about me, me, me. My kid with allergies! Yeah well look around you and realize your self centered focus on your child's allergies is not the only problem in the world.

Your kid throwing a fit because they demand a snack 24/7 isn’t an “issue you are facing”. You are just a shitty larent.

A lot of you don’t seem to understand children DIE of food allergies. They die. They don’t come back.

I can't wrap my head around people rolling the dice by taking these kids to the park when we all know full well how awful and selfish everyone else is. Are they trying to prove some sick point by jeopardizing their kids' lives? You're going to have to explain the thought process and why a parent would do this.

I can't wrap my head around people blithely raising their children to give zero consideration to sharing the world kindly with others by taking the most basic, simple steps, which aren't even real sacrifices, to keep strangers a little safer. Are those parents trying to prove some sick point by raising children who have no empathy and never think of NOT doing exactly as they please, when they please, where they please?

The crime of eating almonds!

You choose to miss the point. The "crime" is not the almonds or the eating. The crime is children growing up never having learned to think about someone else but only about doing whatever they want in that moment.

But little trolly troll, I think you're the one posting repeatedly on this thread and probably will come back with another snappy little nothing to try to keep this all going.

Not PP but I teach my children to think about others, as I also allow them to eat healthful snacks and meals at snack time and meal time. And sometimes it includes nuts, or dairy, or eggs, or (less commonly) shellfish. If someone speaks up and discloses a bad allergy to an item my child is eating of course I will put it away. But I am not going to assume that those around me have life threatening allergies to common foods unless they tell me they do. Just like I wouldn’t walk my dog past someone who has panic attacks around dogs, but, I’m going to walk my dog, and there will be people nearby sometimes and the onus is on them to tell me they can’t be around dogs so I can react appropriately. The onus isn’t on me to only walk my dog in abandoned alleyways.

[Anonymous]

As a parent of kids with food allergies, there are differences in the way I perceive risk. I always assume there will be kids who eat a peanut butter sandwich and then play on a structure or get on the school bus. I can't control that. Now a person eating peanut foods next to them is another situation depending on whether there are airborne particles and if this person may touch my child or share a toy. I would be ok with a child calmly eating a peanut butter sandwich next to my kid. But if they are playing and laughing together she will probably react in some way. My kid knows nobody should get close to to her if they are eating. We've had reactions in her cousins' house where peanut butter and jelly are a staple and there's probably an invisible layer of peanut everywhere. She also reacts to airborne dairy in coffee shops and cafeteria. But for us these are not life threatening and I can remove her from the situation. I have heard of a kid dying from airborne fish allergens while visiting a relative who was cooking fish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

But here's the thing - at the end of the day, you want other people to have empathy for your kid with allergies. I sincerely hope, I do, that you also remember to have empathy for the struggles other parents are facing, and have some compassion and maybe even a helping hand for them. So many spoiled people, and it's all about me, me, me. My kid with allergies! Yeah well look around you and realize your self centered focus on your child's allergies is not the only problem in the world.

Your kid throwing a fit because they demand a snack 24/7 isn’t an “issue you are facing”. You are just a shitty larent.

A lot of you don’t seem to understand children DIE of food allergies. They die. They don’t come back.

I can't wrap my head around people rolling the dice by taking these kids to the park when we all know full well how awful and selfish everyone else is. Are they trying to prove some sick point by jeopardizing their kids' lives? You're going to have to explain the thought process and why a parent would do this.

I can't wrap my head around people blithely raising their children to give zero consideration to sharing the world kindly with others by taking the most basic, simple steps, which aren't even real sacrifices, to keep strangers a little safer. Are those parents trying to prove some sick point by raising children who have no empathy and never think of NOT doing exactly as they please, when they please, where they please?

The crime of eating almonds!

You choose to miss the point. The "crime" is not the almonds or the eating. The crime is children growing up never having learned to think about someone else but only about doing whatever they want in that moment.

But little trolly troll, I think you're the one posting repeatedly on this thread and probably will come back with another snappy little nothing to try to keep this all going.

Not PP but I teach my children to think about others, as I also allow them to eat healthful snacks and meals at snack time and meal time. And sometimes it includes nuts, or dairy, or eggs, or (less commonly) shellfish. If someone speaks up and discloses a bad allergy to an item my child is eating of course I will put it away. But I am not going to assume that those around me have life threatening allergies to common foods unless they tell me they do. Just like I wouldn’t walk my dog past someone who has panic attacks around dogs, but, I’m going to walk my dog, and there will be people nearby sometimes and the onus is on them to tell me they can’t be around dogs so I can react appropriately. The onus isn’t on me to only walk my dog in abandoned alleyways.

But the issue here is that you walking your dog past someone who is scared won't kill them. And walking your dog is an important part of the dog's health.

Here, we know that peanuts can be deadly to some kids (which is not always the case with other allergens - dairy, eggs, eg). That is the a million times worse than whatever could happen if you walked your dog past a scared person. And to avoid death, you just have to avoid the peanuts. That is SO EASY to do. I don't understand why PPs protest this so much. I do this every day - literally EVERY day with my kids. We don't take nut products to school, soccer practice, or kids events. If we have kids over, I ask parents about potential allergies. It doesn't bother me one bit to do this.

It's mind blowing how triggering it is to some people to ask them to be cognizant of where they take nut products. That was literally it. Crazy world we live in.