Damn I like you I do |
My child had a peanut allergy as a baby- his blood test levels were through the roof- but he did not react in vivo because he had eaten peanut butter constantly since 6 months old, which was very lucky for us, it wasnt on purpose he just loved peanut butter. His allergist said he MUST eat peanut product DAILY until at least age 5 or 6, as a way to avoid developing a serious peanut allergy. Mind you this was about a decade ago so maybe thinking has changed, but, this was what happened.
He went to a peanut free preschool, so I gave him a PB sandwich for dinner every night, but if we had other dinner plans, i would make sure to give him those peanut butter pretzels, or PB crackers, or trail mix with peanuts, as his afternoon snack. And sometimes we were at the playground, or on a public bench, or at a communal eating area in a museum. And, I get it. I do. But like you have to worry about your child, I have to worry about mine, and I was going to do what the allergist told me to do and sometimes that meant my kid ate peanuts in public, in a communal setting. If soemone had asked me to put it away, I would have. But I was not going to preemptively not feed him what his allergist had told me to feed him, because we happened to be eating that meal or snack out of the house. I'm sorry, I am. But I agree with other posters that if the allergy is so severe that breathing in particles from my kids snack nearby, or touching residue, is enough to send your child into anaphylactic shock then that is a truly severe life threatening situation and you need to mitigate that yourself, any way possible, including letting everyone know as soon as you show up in a room and bringing soap and water to wash things down, including his hands, very frequently. And possibly masking. |
Recalling one of those militant allergy moms from my kid's elementary school days - and how she forced an entire school to walk on eggshells (while she made zero concessions for any reason for any other kid), I lost my sympathy. Sorry, OP. Figure out how to navigate a world full of nuts without making it everyone else's problem. |
NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat. And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands. There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands. You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then? There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP. |
Have you ever been in public around small kids? If you have, you know everyone isn't going to wipe or wash little hands at a playground that may not even have running water. If this is what you're pinning your hopes on to keep your child safe, you're incredibly foolish. Have you no common sense? |
+1,000 OP is right that this is part of society's larger "I will do my own thing and my kids will do their own thing" attitude. Another PP also noted that there are quite a few similar-sounding, trollish, baiting posts throughout this thread, similar to responses in some other totally different threads lately. That PP mentioned bots, though I think some little jerks have found this website and enjoy hopping around forums just to stir up $h!!t and get people to respond so they can then stir up more. I wish Jeff the moderator could dig into it and see if there are a few IP addresses that are heavily populating threads with repeated, short, nasty responses. This is a privately run site so there's not some "freedom of speech" issue; he could ban those whose IP addresses are just sources of nothing but baiting over and over just to keep threads going and bait some more. |
But here's the thing - at the end of the day, you want other people to have empathy for your kid with allergies. I sincerely hope, I do, that you also remember to have empathy for the struggles other parents are facing, and have some compassion and maybe even a helping hand for them. So many spoiled people, and it's all about me, me, me. My kid with allergies! Yeah well look around you and realize your self centered focus on your child's allergies is not the only problem in the world. |
+1 I wipe my kid’s hands and don’t bring snacks to the playground (and generally avoid peanuts when we do because our family *doesn’t* have any dietary challenges so it’s easy for us) but if you think the exhausted parent effort to wipe down a squirmy toddler’s hands and mouth when they don’t want you to is going to comprehensively remove at traces of peanut oils, I have a bridge to sell you! I have a VERY allergic to peanuts friend so I have sympathy for OP but I also have sympathy for parents who are trying their best for their kids’ specific needs and don’t want to be yelled at by OP over the internet. |
Your kid throwing a fit because they demand a snack 24/7 isn’t an “issue you are facing”. You are just a shitty larent. A lot of you don’t seem to understand children DIE of food allergies. They die. They don’t come back. |
I can't wrap my head around people rolling the dice by taking these kids to the park when we all know full well how awful and selfish everyone else is. Are they trying to prove some sick point by jeopardizing their kids' lives? You're going to have to explain the thought process and why a parent would do this. |
Umm what? You never ate around other children? So you didn’t eat lunch at school? Wth? |
PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking. She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable. I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe. Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater. If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there. But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am. |
I can't wrap my head around people blithely raising their children to give zero consideration to sharing the world kindly with others by taking the most basic, simple steps, which aren't even real sacrifices, to keep strangers a little safer. Are those parents trying to prove some sick point by raising children who have no empathy and never think of NOT doing exactly as they please, when they please, where they please? |
+1. It is definitely 1-2 trolls. Tone and style are identical in nearly all of them. How do we get Jeff to look into it, as some of the shots at OP's child are beyond the pale? Report button? I think multiple users may need to do that. |
Answer the question. Why would you take a kid with such a serious allergy to the park? If my kid can't swim I don't throw them into the deep end of the pool and hope for the best. They might DIE so I don't do that. Do you understand that death is permanent? |