Anyone else with gift disappointment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extreme first world/middle class problem here:

The past two Christmases and birthdays, my mother bought me expensive jewelry. I told her twice that I don’t need more things, especially more wearable things, especially small wearable things that are easy to lose. I would have rather had the money to pay bills, or to pay for a cleaning/organizing service to clear out half of the stuff I had in the small place I live in, or just to spend in a way that would make life easier. To be brutally honest, I would have been happier with a working vacuum cleaner.


That’s what I would request for anyone else who gives me a gift going forward. Give me something that makes my life easier. Relieve some of my stress.

Examples:

- pay one of my bills
- babysit or pet sit for a weekend
- Cook some nutritious and delicious meals for me for a week
- Don’t give me any gifts for ten years and then help me on a downpayment for a house
- Day at a spa
- Marijuana

Semi joking on the last one. But THINGS only give me more stress. I want experiences or conveniences.

I love your list. Not for myself, because I don't have need for that...but, these would really be meaningful gifts to give to a grownup!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Extreme first world/middle class problem here:

The past two Christmases and birthdays, my mother bought me expensive jewelry. I told her twice that I don’t need more things, especially more wearable things, especially small wearable things that are easy to lose. I would have rather had the money to pay bills, or to pay for a cleaning/organizing service to clear out half of the stuff I had in the small place I live in, or just to spend in a way that would make life easier. To be brutally honest, I would have been happier with a working vacuum cleaner.


That’s what I would request for anyone else who gives me a gift going forward. Give me something that makes my life easier. Relieve some of my stress.

Examples:

- pay one of my bills
- babysit or pet sit for a weekend
- Cook some nutritious and delicious meals for me for a week
- Don’t give me any gifts for ten years and then help me on a downpayment for a house
- Day at a spa
- Marijuana

Semi joking on the last one. But THINGS only give me more stress. I want experiences or conveniences.

I was disappointed because last year I got a Tiffany bracket instead of a new bridle for my horse. The bracelet mostly sits in a drawer. Would have preferred the more useful gift but here we are.

How tragic? Clearly you can afford to buy a new bridle for your horse. Rick people people problems.

It might be a troll post, but first world problems still exist. It’s one thing to have a first world problem and acknowledge it and that it doesn’t matter so much in the grand scheme of things, it’s another if your first world problem trumps (heh) everything else, including actual real world problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Extreme first world/middle class problem here:

The past two Christmases and birthdays, my mother bought me expensive jewelry. I told her twice that I don’t need more things, especially more wearable things, especially small wearable things that are easy to lose. I would have rather had the money to pay bills, or to pay for a cleaning/organizing service to clear out half of the stuff I had in the small place I live in, or just to spend in a way that would make life easier. To be brutally honest, I would have been happier with a working vacuum cleaner.


That’s what I would request for anyone else who gives me a gift going forward. Give me something that makes my life easier. Relieve some of my stress.

Examples:

- pay one of my bills
- babysit or pet sit for a weekend
- Cook some nutritious and delicious meals for me for a week
- Don’t give me any gifts for ten years and then help me on a downpayment for a house
- Day at a spa
- Marijuana

Semi joking on the last one. But THINGS only give me more stress. I want experiences or conveniences.

I was disappointed because last year I got a Tiffany bracket instead of a new bridle for my horse. The bracelet mostly sits in a drawer. Would have preferred the more useful gift but here we are.

How tragic? Clearly you can afford to buy a new bridle for your horse. Rick people people problems.

It might be a troll post, but first world problems still exist. It’s one thing to have a first world problem and acknowledge it and that it doesn’t matter so much in the grand scheme of things, it’s another if your first world problem trumps (heh) everything else, including actual real world problems.

Actually not a troll but could never say it elsewhere. Also feel bad that I was disappointed because it’s probably in my top three bratty moments. Here we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Next year get yourself the best xmas present under the tree. Diamond earrings, iPad, vibrator, whatever floats your boat.

Sure, I could do that. Here's the thing: it's a lot of mental energy to select gifts, and time to shop and wrap. I give so much to others that I don't want to also have to do that for myself. I'd like my spouse to go through the effort of buying me a gift (even a crappy one) since I do it for him, our kids, our nieces & nephews, his mother, my parents -- as well as small treats for coworkers, neighbors, church friends, etc.

This!

[Anonymous]

Every present I gave my husband had hours of thought behind it - he bought off my Amazon wish list, including the garbage bags I'd accidentally saved there instead of my shopping list.

So.

Yeah.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone posted this yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU

Forgot to say...OP please watch this. Hopefully it makes you smile, laugh and feel less alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU

Forgot to say...OP please watch this. Hopefully it makes you smile, laugh and feel less alone.

NP, I’d forgotten that sketch! Classic, especially about the stocking.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Y'all...I am GUILTY.

I posted earlier on this thread complaining. And then I was a crappy gifter to my SIL's very large family. My husband insisted we should get them a family gift because "there are so many of them," "we dont know the older kids well enough to know what they would like" and "they order everything they want" (all true). So I put together a gift basket of local consumables from multiple stores. They gave each of us thoughtful, individualized gifts. I feel so bad. I guess next year I'll be picking out a large number of individualized gifts for the in laws....

[Anonymous]

I tell my husband every year not too big me jewelry. He bought jewelry. An ugly pendant that someone in their 70s or 80s might wear. And it’s exchangeable but only for store credit and everything else there is also for old ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU

Forgot to say...OP please watch this. Hopefully it makes you smile, laugh and feel less alone.

NP, I’d forgotten that sketch! Classic, especially about the stocking.

This sketch cracks me up every time. Mom martyrs unite!

[Anonymous]

No I am happy with my gifts even though I buy nearly all the gifts for our family including for myself.

I ask a lot of questions throughout the year and buy over six months so it is not stressful at the end of the year. I aim for thoughtful gifts that are suited to family and friend’s tastes and personalities.

I get myself practical stuff that I have wanted for a while but never get around to usually.

I spend more time on gifts for others as that makes me happy except for giving to teenage children, which is often not satisfying as they don’t appreciate much yet.

[Anonymous]

I only received a Christmas card from my parents. No gifts at all from anyone including my husband and teenage and adult kids.

WHY don’t your kids give gifts? Is thinking of other people a value you instilled in them as kids? My sister’s teens fid not buy her any presents. My young adult kids love their aunt and went in on a couple of gifts for her. My kids were talking about it tonight and wondered why their cousins are excited about receiving gifts at Christmas but not giving them. I think teaching young kids to think of others at Christmas (less privileged kids, their siblings, etc.) is a valuable lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got my wife (well, us) a Breville blender to replace our old crappy one.

Honey, is that you?

What did she get you? And what did you do to make Christmas “happen”? The problem in these situations is usually the lack of reciprocity.

Lack of communication.

How’s that? A DW should have to say “I am going to be disappointed if you don’t get me a thoughtful Christmas gift”?

Yes. If an adult is going to be disappointed again because they didn’t get a present from someone notorious for not giving good presents, they should say: I would like a pair of earrings and here’s the store. Go buy them for me.

Or be disappointed again. Your choice.

Otherwise,

Or her adult husband with agency could grow up and people could stop making excuses for him.