Men who steal women’s fertility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

Exactly. But if it makes the PP feel better, my mother did it. She married a much younger man who desperately wanted kids and she never disclosed she had her tubes tied years before meeting him. She just told me this recently. They have been married 35 years and he still doesn't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

If he tells you the truth and then later changes his mind because his feelings have changed, was he lying?

When women tell you before you get married how often they want to have sex, and then that frequency diminishes after marriage because their feelings have changed, were they lying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

If he tells you the truth and then later changes his mind because his feelings have changed, was he lying?

When women tell you before you get married how often they want to have sex, and then that frequency diminishes after marriage because their feelings have changed, were they lying?

Yes. It is. You should not be making commitments you can't even try to keep. I mean it's one thing if something traumatic happens to you and you can't take care of a child or you can't have kids or can't have sex as in your example, but even then you should have some way of keeping that spirit and committment alive. We are talking about people who deliberately misleed their spouse though and there are many people like that or who say they are all in but they are lying to themselves and to their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.

And are these women posting on DCUM. Is op one of these women? Is Anniston? Didn't think so.

You and OP are no help to women telling them they have zero agency. And men are to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

As a 38 year old woman it's infuriating to see this kind of talk on DCUM.
He didn't steal from you. You aren't a victim you ignored the red flags and now you're dealing with the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.

And are these women posting on DCUM. Is op one of these women? Is Anniston? Didn't think so.

You and OP are no help to women telling them they have zero agency. And men are to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

As a 38 year old woman it's infuriating to see this kind of talk on DCUM.
He didn't steal from you. You aren't a victim you ignored the red flags and now you're dealing with the consequences.

What do you not get? I am posting on DCUM and it is infuriating to see my life experience been dismissed/negated by people like you. I am not saying all women have no agency, I am saying there are some women who have had no agency because of their culture.

I am a victim of my culture, so F off telling me I should deal with it since I chose this. I did not choose this. And people like you would never understand what it is like to be in my shoes and the culture I was raised in. I'm done talking to people like you since it brings back trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

If he tells you the truth and then later changes his mind because his feelings have changed, was he lying?

When women tell you before you get married how often they want to have sex, and then that frequency diminishes after marriage because their feelings have changed, were they lying?

Yes. It is. You should not be making commitments you can't even try to keep. I mean it's one thing if something traumatic happens to you and you can't take care of a child or you can't have kids or can't have sex as in your example, but even then you should have some way of keeping that spirit and committment alive. We are talking about people who deliberately misleed their spouse though and there are many people like that or who say they are all in but they are lying to themselves and to their spouse.

I don't think there are many people like that at all - especially men who lie about wanting to have children. For one thing, having children is literally the only reason to get married at all from a man's point of view. Otherwise why not just cohabit without marrying? Another common reason for men to get married is because she gave him an ultimatum to get married and he caved in. In that scenario, did she say "oh by the way I also demand you make me pregnant soon" or was that just her hidden agenda? Probably not. So she was not fully honest with him. If she reveals her hidden baby agenda after she browbeats him into doing something he wouldn't otherwise do, then really it's hard to blame him for dragging his feet about going along with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we live in a society these days where woman are endlessly blaming men. Many women, I believe, had opportunities before even say 35 to have kids and settle with good men. But all I hear is about men that are not good enough, men that are not present, men that refuse therapy, the list goes on and on. I don't know its just feel like these days its all about men not doing something right...

Yes, men bashing so easy that everyone loves to do it. This is one area where no one in support of men and women can make any stupid accusations/blames and play victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't date losers.

^100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.

And are these women posting on DCUM. Is op one of these women? Is Anniston? Didn't think so.

You and OP are no help to women telling them they have zero agency. And men are to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

As a 38 year old woman it's infuriating to see this kind of talk on DCUM.
He didn't steal from you. You aren't a victim you ignored the red flags and now you're dealing with the consequences.

What do you not get? I am posting on DCUM and it is infuriating to see my life experience been dismissed/negated by people like you. I am not saying all women have no agency, I am saying there are some women who have had no agency because of their culture.

I am a victim of my culture, so F off telling me I should deal with it since I chose this. I did not choose this. And people like you would never understand what it is like to be in my shoes and the culture I was raised in. I'm done talking to people like you since it brings back trauma.

You have choices and your choice is to take the easy way out and stay put. That is your choice; it’s not being forced on you. Every day women escape violent situations without absolutely nothing. So you can F with this culture BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

I'll scratch that itch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is women have right to divorce these men and move on, freeze embryos etc but they chose to stay in these fruitless pointless marriages. So it's the women mistake just as much as his avoidance of commitment to her

+1 No one is 'stealing' anyone's fertility. There are many ways to become a mother.

How is freezing the embryo of your ex husband a solution to infertility? And what other ways? Don’t say adoption, which is not a solution to infertility.

No one is reaching into a woman's abdomen and taking her reproductive organs. Infertility is a medical condition. If a woman is infertile, then she must adopt if she wants to be a mother. If she chooses not to adopt, well, she didn't really want to be a mother, she wanted to demonstrate her fertility.

As an adoptee and adoptive mother, you have a very simplistic view of adoption. It shouldn’t be treated as an easy solution to wanting to be a mother. Adoption is complicated for all parties involved.

The PP did not opine on the 'ease' of adoption. If one is unable to use one's own eggs for a child, what other means can one become a mother other than adoption? Do tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women file for divorce 80% of the time. It is unlikely that a man simply divorces his wife for a younger woman.

Its a convenient mischaracterization to duck responsibility by blaming men for a woman's decline in fertility.

The typical woman spends her 20's exploring and dating around and then suddenly wants to find a "good man" in her early 30.
Many times, when a woman does find that "good man" he is not really her hearts desire but merely what she settled for because all her friends were getting married and she was feeling pressure to marry and have babies also.

She should have been figuring out husband and family in her early 20s.
Waiting until the last minute is unlikely to lead to good results.

+1. My husband’s ex wife divorced him when she was 34-35 because he had met someone else. That relationship didn’t work out. Then she met someone else, but could never have a baby. I know this because my husband still shares friend with ex wife.

Meanwhile DH and I have 3 kids… she was bad and mean to DH… so I am not too sad for her….

[Anonymous]

Generally speaking, women can leave whenever they want. But they have much less margin for error than men due to the biological clock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women file for divorce 80% of the time. It is unlikely that a man simply divorces his wife for a younger woman.

Its a convenient mischaracterization to duck responsibility by blaming men for a woman's decline in fertility.

The typical woman spends her 20's exploring and dating around and then suddenly wants to find a "good man" in her early 30.
Many times, when a woman does find that "good man" he is not really her hearts desire but merely what she settled for because all her friends were getting married and she was feeling pressure to marry and have babies also.

She should have been figuring out husband and family in her early 20s.
Waiting until the last minute is unlikely to lead to good results.

+1. My husband’s ex wife divorced him when she was 34-35 because he had met someone else. That relationship didn’t work out. Then she met someone else, but could never have a baby. I know this because my husband still shares friend with ex wife.

Meanwhile DH and I have 3 kids… she was bad and mean to DH… so I am not too sad for her….

She had met someone else… not him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

I'll scratch that itch.

No thank you, I don't need man whores from DCUM in my life. Go scratch the itch of the PP above my post.