What to do when your kid sucks at sports

[Anonymous]

DS has always been terrible at sports but enjoys playing. This year he's playing in a mixed age group and is getting bullied.

As a competitive person, I understand from the teammates perspective. I also understand what it's like to be bullied.

It's rec so coach is volunteer and we don't have any assistants.

Do I pull him out? He still wants to play and stick it out, but it's really hard to watch.

[Anonymous]

Why does he have to be good if he is having fun? Why would you pull him? You are a terrible person. I admire your kid

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by bullied? How old is he and what is the situation? You don't provide enough details to get good advice. But in general if your child likes the activity, dont remove them. If the team or club is toxic, sign him up for another one.

Ive never seen kids bullied on rec teams, and my son has played with such a wide variety of skills.

[Anonymous]

Maybe play with him outside of practice to help hand-eye coordination for example.
Shoot hoops together, throw the ball,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to be good if he is having fun? Why would you pull him? You are a terrible person. I admire your kid

Ignore this person.

[Anonymous]

1) bullying is not ok. Talk to the coach. They should put a stop to the bullying.

2) Is he on the young side of the mixed age or the old side? If he is on the young side, in the future just put him in the appropriate age.

3) is he upset about being bad, or is it just upsetting to you?

4) Why is he bad? Is he uncoordinated? Not paying attention to the game? Not have the necessary skills? The solution to getting better depends on the reason.

[Anonymous]

We need a better understanding of what you mean by bullying? Are kids hitting him? Taunting him? Is it sort of normal, kids' trash talking and you are very sensitive?

If it's indeed bullying, then as suggested, try moving him to another rec team. If it's just you being sensitive and your kid wants to stay the course, then you should let him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) bullying is not ok. Talk to the coach. They should put a stop to the bullying.

2) Is he on the young side of the mixed age or the old side? If he is on the young side, in the future just put him in the appropriate age.

3) is he upset about being bad, or is it just upsetting to you?

4) Why is he bad? Is he uncoordinated? Not paying attention to the game? Not have the necessary skills? The solution to getting better depends on the reason.

Yes, he is on the young side. There are some sophmores that are making remarks under their breath about his abilities and directly to him. He's got adhd and focusing is difficult, he really gets in his own head.

He had a gaggle of like 3-4 boys heckle him every play. The coach was nowhere to be found. Even the parents were letting kids drop f-bombs. It was a bad game. But we've noticed other direct and indirect comments at practice and it goes unchecked.

I don't want to keep him on a team of turds and let it ruin his self esteem. He's done better in previous years and I do think the age gap is an issue. Whats the hurt in taking the season to practice and moving from a toxic environment.

The other part of me wants to let him ride it out because I think he could toughen up a little. I'm really torn on how much I should intervene.

[Anonymous]

He's a freshman? And wants to play?

If he was little and being picked on, I'd pull him, but I would allow a high school student to recognize when he's had enough or when he wants to stay.

I don't understand your comment here:

Anonymous wrote:
As a competitive person, I understand from the teammates perspective.

There is nothing understandable about bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a freshman? And wants to play?

If he was little and being picked on, I'd pull him, but I would allow a high school student to recognize when he's had enough or when he wants to stay.

I don't understand your comment here:

Anonymous wrote:
As a competitive person, I understand from the teammates perspective.

There is nothing understandable about bullying.

He's 13, 7th grade, playing with sophmores in hs. The team is mixed 50/50.
Its a 13-15 age group.

[Anonymous]

My DS is a lot younger but we have the same experience, a not-athletically inclined child who loves a sport (soccer in our case). I encourage many individual sports and I'm always looking for the lowest level team possible for him. I do know other parents who hire private coaches in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a lot younger but we have the same experience, a not-athletically inclined child who loves a sport (soccer in our case). I encourage many individual sports and I'm always looking for the lowest level team possible for him. I do know other parents who hire private coaches in this situation.

We're moving to private for HS at a school that is not known for it's sports but has a heavy teacher/coach program. We're hoping this will help with skills & confidence.

The coach called and apparently there is a problem kid but he wasn't aware of the other stuff. I'm holding out hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to be good if he is having fun? Why would you pull him? You are a terrible person. I admire your kid

Ignore this person.

No, ignore this person.

[Anonymous]

The grass is always greener. I have a 6th-grader who struggled at almost every sport until he found one where he had a natural talent, late last year. We’ve had interest from high schools, a little recruiting from clubs…and my son couldn’t give a sh*t. He will go to the scheduled practice, put in the time, and never think about it again. I would kill for him to care about any physical activity, even if he sucked at it. For your kid to stick with something he loves and currently stinks at is such a gift.

[Anonymous]

What sport is this? 13-15 is an awfully wide age spread.

My son dealt with at 13. He wasn’t that bad at the sport actually, but much smaller and less physically/emotionally mature than most…I think that is why they singled him out. The coaches either did not notice or did not care- not sure which.

We finished our obligation/season and moved him to a different team. 2yrs later he is playing with many of those same kids and there have been no problems- but this is at the high school level where the coaches put up with no BS and mean kids wouldn’t dare risk it.

So- switch teams at first opportunity?