What to do when your kid sucks at sports

[Anonymous]

DD was bullied on a team. She was the youngest, but better than some of the older girls. One in particular was always saying things to her and even threatened to get others on her side. We told the coach. It was a club team.

[Anonymous]

He finishes the season. He decides re: what next. Use this time to introduce some other sports. Baseball? Swimming? Maybe some individual sports. Tennis? You don't say what grade he is in. Look towards HS. He could run cross country or track. At our HS it's a non-cut sport. Many don't compete in meets and are there to keep in shape. Many keeping in shape off-season for other sports. In other words, he/they don't have to excel.

[Anonymous]

Is he actually terrible (like uncoordinated and hasn’t improved with consistent practice)? If you haven’t tried, do daily or every other day practice on a few of those sport’s skills. Either you or your partner, or hire a high school kid to do it.

If he is really and truly unathletic and nothing will improve that, that is tough but he will either find a way to keep those friendships or naturally find a different group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a freshman? And wants to play?

If he was little and being picked on, I'd pull him, but I would allow a high school student to recognize when he's had enough or when he wants to stay.

I don't understand your comment here:

Anonymous wrote:
As a competitive person, I understand from the teammates perspective.

There is nothing understandable about bullying.

He's 13, 7th grade, playing with sophmores in hs. The team is mixed 50/50.
Its a 13-15 age group.

7th graders shouldn’t be on a team with sophomores unless the 7th grader is so good he needs to play above age level. Pull him and find a more appropriate team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a freshman? And wants to play?

If he was little and being picked on, I'd pull him, but I would allow a high school student to recognize when he's had enough or when he wants to stay.

I don't understand your comment here:

Anonymous wrote:
As a competitive person, I understand from the teammates perspective.

There is nothing understandable about bullying.

He's 13, 7th grade, playing with sophmores in hs. The team is mixed 50/50.
Its a 13-15 age group.

7th graders shouldn’t be on a team with sophomores unless the 7th grader is so good he needs to play above age level. Pull him and find a more appropriate team.

Also it’s sad you put your 7th grader with 10th graders and your perspective on this is that DS “sucks at sports.” Hope you’re a troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to be good if he is having fun? Why would you pull him? You are a terrible person. I admire your kid

Because he’s being bullied, you f-ing clown.

Agree with earlier poster — ignore this person, OP.

[Anonymous]

I’m guessing this could be Babe Ruth or Juniors Little League baseball, where the spread is indeed a mixed 13-15 age group.

One thing I’ve noticed from my own son playing travel baseball and watching high school games, the amount of trash talking obnoxiousness is incredible from the high school-aged kids. I don’t know what it is that makes them act like that but it’s a big difference between the middle school set and HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing this could be Babe Ruth or Juniors Little League baseball, where the spread is indeed a mixed 13-15 age group.

One thing I’ve noticed from my own son playing travel baseball and watching high school games, the amount of trash talking obnoxiousness is incredible from the high school-aged kids. I don’t know what it is that makes them act like that but it’s a big difference between the middle school set and HS.

Agree. But we don't have this problem at all in our league. We are in McLean but play in Greater Vienna Babe Ruth. The older kids tend to be really nice to the younger kids, even the really crappy ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to be good if he is having fun? Why would you pull him? You are a terrible person. I admire your kid

I mean, most of us won't abuse our kids by watching them be bullied, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Ooof, that is a big age difference! My kid is a junior and his high school is small and has no JV, so freshman who are fairly new to the sport play with seniors. This is baseball.

There is plenty of trash talking, teasing, and fbombs, but the freshman are treated really gently. My kid was pitching last night and two freshman made errors that cost runs, and in the car home my son’s comment was a diplomatic “they are still developing as players.” Meanwhile if a fellow junior or senior had made the same error he would have said “Larlo f’d up and cost us a run.” He’d say the same of his own errors. I don’t like the teasing and heckling in baseball, but in general the boys know who wants to participate and who doesn’t, and also only tease the highest performers.

I hope some of the older kids are being kind to your son, OP. And I hope that he sticks with it! Baseball can be so stressful but it can be so much fun for kids, too.

[Anonymous]

What sport is this? 13-15 is an awfully wide age spread.

That is a big age spread. However, that being said, my 14 year old freshman (probably one of the youngest in his grade) is on a high school sports team with 18 and 19 year old seniors, and there is no bullying. In your situation, I think the coach needs to do more to address this. Is it possible that adding another volunteer coach could help? If so, would you be willing?

[Anonymous]

Unless your kid is a super athlete you need to set him up for success and that includes NOT putting him on teams where there is a big age range and he will be one of the youngest. I also generally found that rec sports are not great for unathletic kids because the coaches aren't that great (generally).

I put my non-athletic kids in the following sports over the years (they are 14 and 12 now): sailing, rock climbing, swimming, fencing. None of these required a ton of hand-eye coordination and all were sports where my kids could work hard, be coached by people who knew what they were doing, and make measurable improvements in a supportive environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid is a super athlete you need to set him up for success and that includes NOT putting him on teams where there is a big age range and he will be one of the youngest. I also generally found that rec sports are not great for unathletic kids because the coaches aren't that great (generally).

I put my non-athletic kids in the following sports over the years (they are 14 and 12 now): sailing, rock climbing, swimming, fencing. None of these required a ton of hand-eye coordination and all were sports where my kids could work hard, be coached by people who knew what they were doing, and make measurable improvements in a supportive environment.

Fencing doesn’t require hand eye coordination…?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid is a super athlete you need to set him up for success and that includes NOT putting him on teams where there is a big age range and he will be one of the youngest. I also generally found that rec sports are not great for unathletic kids because the coaches aren't that great (generally).

I put my non-athletic kids in the following sports over the years (they are 14 and 12 now): sailing, rock climbing, swimming, fencing. None of these required a ton of hand-eye coordination and all were sports where my kids could work hard, be coached by people who knew what they were doing, and make measurable improvements in a supportive environment.

Fencing doesn’t require hand eye coordination…?

No

[Anonymous]

Bullying requires a victim.

If your son is happy and isn't scared of the loser older kids, let him continue to succeed.