pregnant with third boy

[Anonymous]

we found out we're having another boy. don't get me wrong: i know we're fortunate. we already have two beautiful, adorable, sweet little boys. my fingers are crossed #3 will be the same. if so, that will be the easy part. i know it's selfish to be a sad that i'm not having a girl. afterall, it's not like we were guaranteed to be close. i wasn't so close with my mom growing up - total daddy's girl here. aside from my husband, who is beyond thrilled of course, the only person who could be happier would be my dad, but he passed away soon after my oldest was born. he was an only child and wanted a boy so bad, but he had 3 girls. i'm trying to think positively, as if my dad were still here but instead i'm just numb and a little shocked - i was convinced this was a girl! i was really hoping to having someone who *might* enjoy some fun things together. my sister made me laugh and suggested one of my boys could be gay and then i'd get the shopping partner i'm looking for i was only hoping to add a little pink to my life. i do appreciate girlie things and feel as though that feminine side of me is slowly slipping away as i enter neverland with the lost boys. my biggest fear is i'll become some frumpy, hockey mom. my mom - who is a mother only of girls - pointed out that these boys will "adore" me, but i think that's only until they find someone else to adore. and while i've saved my husband about $150k in wedding costs alone, i've got (maybe) three beige dresses to wear and the expectation to be quiet. ugh. is this what i have to look forward to?

i'm certain i'll be flamed for feeling the teeniest bit sad, so enough of my pity party. are there any moms out there of three+ of a kind who will chime in with any helpful, positive advice or experiences?

[Anonymous]

FWIW OP, be happy with the boys. I've got one of each and my DD loves to play with everyone's head.

[Anonymous]

I think my SIL had some of those feelings, but now she has my DD as a niece and they have a very special little relationship! And her three boys are just wonderful little people. The third one, especially, is a complete cut-up and totally hilarious; we can't imagine life without him. I hope my DD will find someone to partner with as kind, sweet and thoughtful as her cousins are.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to burst your one bubble, but the Groom's family nearly always contributes to wedding costs these days. My In-Laws gave us $20K

I'm mainly just trying to be light about it. My sister has 3 boys and really wanted a girl....her younger ones are twins and she was SURE one was a girl but they're identical boys. I finally had "her" girl and she likes to pretend my daughter is hers and looks forward to spa days with her baby girl. Haha. I'm also one of 3 girls, so it's a similar situation for her. One of your boys will surely be closer to you than the others, just like every family. My husband is the closest to his Parents and he's got a sister. A lot of that is personality. My point is that what you're feeling isn't abnormal, people just don't like to say it out loud. Congratulations on your baby boy. You know once he's here you wont' be able to imagine having a girl in his place and then one day you can tell your Daughter-In-Law that having boys is way better than having girls, like all Moms of boys will say.

[Anonymous]

I would love three boys! Love, love, love!!!

They smell great and love their mommy and there's none of the weird mother/daughter drama that haunts me.

I have one and am praying for a second this winter.

My brother has two daughters. Not to be unkind, but nothing I see makes me crave a girl. Not the hair baubles or the pink.

[Anonymous]

Can I remind you that one of the most stylish moms out there has three boys... Victoria Beckham.

Also God must really love you that he didn't give you a girl to be mean to you all through her high school years....

Because regardless of how much you'd love re-doing the drapes and buying a lot of pink clothes.... she'd just hate you for like 10 years of her young life.

And you now have a dynasty of boys who can run for public office and marry beautiful girls that went to boarding schools and attended Brown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love three boys! Love, love, love!!!

They smell great and love their mommy and there's none of the weird mother/daughter drama that haunts me.

I have one and am praying for a second this winter.

My brother has two daughters. Not to be unkind, but nothing I see makes me crave a girl. Not the hair baubles or the pink.

I'm the PP with the twin nephews. This is honestly the attitude of many people. For every Mom that wants a girl there are 2 more than want boys. I hear from so many people nasty comments about my 3-year-old when she's just sitting there, based soley on their own experience and nothing my child is doing. Kids are kids. They have different personalities. Honestly, it's funny you mention the mother/daughter drama because I fear having a boy and having the mother/son thing. Like, I don't have that in my family because we're all girls, but I see with my husband with other men how their Mom has trouble letting go of their little boy in a way they don't seem to have with their girls. That whole "I'm the woman in his life" thing scares me. I guess you just get nervous of the unknown. Or, in your case, of what you do know and hope not to repeat. I don't have drama with my Mom because we're both female like you're implying but I certainly know those who do. My neighbor and her Mom had a very odd relationship, but that didn't exist between her Mom and little sister. Her Mom I always thought had a weird jealousy issue with her older daughter and favored the younger one. You will love your daughter if you have one just like the OP will love her next son. Having a daughter is a beautiful experience. Be careful 'cause I think sometimes we end up doing what we're most scared of doing. I just recently started to be nervous about being an overprotective Mom to a son since I got pregnant and realized that having a boy would be a different thing all together. I just hope I don't will it into happening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I remind you that one of the most stylish moms out there has three boys... Victoria Beckham.

Also God must really love you that he didn't give you a girl to be mean to you all through her high school years....

Because regardless of how much you'd love re-doing the drapes and buying a lot of pink clothes.... she'd just hate you for like 10 years of her young life.

And you now have a dynasty of boys who can run for public office and marry beautiful girls that went to boarding schools and attended Brown.

What is with these POSTS? Girls most certainly do not, as a whole, hate their Moms in HS? I never hated my Mom and always liked hanging out with her. Not every girl grows up to be a bitch. Some boys can also be a handful. I realize you're trying to mkake the OP feel better, but please don't do it at the expense of every other poster's daughter.

[Anonymous]

The first step in not becoming a frumpy boy mom is recognizing that some people have a problem. You are obviously a stylish person to begin with to be conscious of this problem. You will be the queen of your house and those boys will worship you.

[Anonymous]

I think it is normal to want the experience of raising both a boy and a girl. Its okay to feel a little sad. (I always get a little pang at Easter time when all those cute frilly dresses come out on the racks.) I have three brothers though, and they are best friends! I hope the same for my sons.

[Anonymous]

My sister has 3 boys and she was one of those women that always wanted a daughter. She loves them and her life now.

I have 2 boys...if I ever had a third (and I don't plan on it!)..I would want another boy. I have always wanted all boys. For some reason--I relate better to boys...and my 2 are such momma's boys.

They will have a great bond and you will soon forget the pink once that cute little baby arrives. Good luck! It's natural to feel some disappointment and very natural to want to experience both genders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love three boys! Love, love, love!!!

They smell great and love their mommy and there's none of the weird mother/daughter drama that haunts me.

I have one and am praying for a second this winter.

My brother has two daughters. Not to be unkind, but nothing I see makes me crave a girl. Not the hair baubles or the pink.

I'm the PP with the twin nephews. This is honestly the attitude of many people. For every Mom that wants a girl there are 2 more than want boys. I hear from so many people nasty comments about my 3-year-old when she's just sitting there, based soley on their own experience and nothing my child is doing. Kids are kids. They have different personalities. Honestly, it's funny you mention the mother/daughter drama because I fear having a boy and having the mother/son thing. Like, I don't have that in my family because we're all girls, but I see with my husband with other men how their Mom has trouble letting go of their little boy in a way they don't seem to have with their girls. That whole "I'm the woman in his life" thing scares me. I guess you just get nervous of the unknown. Or, in your case, of what you do know and hope not to repeat. I don't have drama with my Mom because we're both female like you're implying but I certainly know those who do. My neighbor and her Mom had a very odd relationship, but that didn't exist between her Mom and little sister. Her Mom I always thought had a weird jealousy issue with her older daughter and favored the younger one. You will love your daughter if you have one just like the OP will love her next son. Having a daughter is a beautiful experience. Be careful 'cause I think sometimes we end up doing what we're most scared of doing. I just recently started to be nervous about being an overprotective Mom to a son since I got pregnant and realized that having a boy would be a different thing all together. I just hope I don't will it into happening!

I agree with this. One of my close friends has a boy and she always says she's SO GLAD she has a boy and not a girl because she loves the way boys ADORE their mothers. She's totally going to be the MIL from hell, I already know it! I have one DD and I would love to have a boy as well, but I don't think having a girl means you HAVE to doll them up in pink and bows, etc. My DD mostly wears shorts and T-shirts. She also ADORES me. Not a daddy's girl at all, but a mommy's girl! (she is only 3 though. . .) I know plenty of girls that have (and always had) a good relationship with their mothers.

But back to what the OP was concerned about. My DH is one of three boys and I am one of three girls and I can tell you, three girls fight a WHOLE lot more than boys do. But I also think that had a lot to do with our parents. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I remind you that one of the most stylish moms out there has three boys... Victoria Beckham.

Also God must really love you that he didn't give you a girl to be mean to you all through her high school years....

Because regardless of how much you'd love re-doing the drapes and buying a lot of pink clothes.... she'd just hate you for like 10 years of her young life.

And you now have a dynasty of boys who can run for public office and marry beautiful girls that went to boarding schools and attended Brown.

What is with these POSTS? Girls most certainly do not, as a whole, hate their Moms in HS? I never hated my Mom and always liked hanging out with her. Not every girl grows up to be a bitch. Some boys can also be a handful. I realize you're trying to mkake the OP feel better, but please don't do it at the expense of every other poster's daughter.

true, true! Girls are wonderful as well. I know some boys that were brats as children and grow up to be asshole adults. You can't generalize like that.

[Anonymous]

Seriously...I dated some real jackass men in my day they are somone's sons. However my husband is the sweetest nicest man you could find. I would hope that my daughteres don't grow up to hate me but I know there will be bumps in the road. It's how you parent too...not the sex of the child, that shapes your relationship I think.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am kinda appalled at how backwards your thinking is regarding marriage. You should absolutely contribute to your son's wedding. My in-laws tried to pull the "well, the girl pays for everything" bs and I told DH if that was how it is we are eloping and going to city hall. As a feminist, I take offense at the idea that the daughter;s family need to pay a son's family to marry her.