Your HONEST opinion/reaction - E-mail I Received

[Anonymous]

Looking for your honest input regarding this e-mail I received from the sister of one of my friends. FYI (if it matters) we are good friends, not super close, but we see each other 3 or 4 times a year and keep up via e-mail. I really like this friend. Also, in the past two years, this friend has had a wedding shower, wedding, baby shower, and baptism, all of which I have attended without hesitation. There is a good possibility that they will be throwing a 1st birthday party for their baby in December. I need to know if my thoughts are even close to the general DCUM masses. Thanks!

(Changed the names to protect the innocent)
Hi everyone!

It's that time again for Lisa to get one year older. And not just any ol' year; the new momma is turning 35 on October 9.
I asked Bill, her husband, if she would like to have a Disneyland passport for her birthday and he said that he thinks it's a good idea!
I was wondering if any of you would be interested in pitching in for this gift even if it's a dollar! =D Here's what she'll be getting:

http://tiny.cc/disneypass (this is a link to the Disney website - cost of pass is $459.00)

Good thing with Disneyland is that you can also bring anyone under 3 years old for free! Bill said whatever is left over, he'll pay for the rest.

Let me know if you guys are interested! And if you know someone who would like to pitch in, let me know! If it's easier, I can also set up a PayPal account so you guys can "donate" online. I'm not sure if she's going to have a party or just a dinner with the family but I'll get a card and put everyone's name on it who pitched in. =)

Also, this is a surprise gift! So, please, don't let Lisa know! =)

Sincerely,
Linda (Lisa's sister)

[Anonymous]

absolutely ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Pretty hideous.

[Anonymous]

wow. beyond appalling. i hope that "Laura" will be embarrassed when she learns that her sister was schilling money for her.

[Anonymous]

Awful! I would ignore the email, pretend it got lost in the shuffle.

[Anonymous]

Usually I hate any type of present/party/invitation that asks for money. But for some reason this one doesn't rub me the wrong way, "if" you think this is just the absolute best present you could think of for your friend. Like it's been a lifetime dream or something to go to Disney. It's not my thing, but it may be hers.

I will qualify my response by saying I've had two friends under 40 die this past month, and a very close friend in her 50s who will likely die this year. All cancer. So my thinking right now is.....if it's something that makes your friend genuinely happy, do it.

[Anonymous]

Not that big of a deal. Who cares.

[Anonymous]

This email doesn't bother me at all. Lots of times I don't know what to get friends - and something like this I would like. I also like how it's presented. It truly feels like "here's an idea if you'd like" and I don't get the impression that anyone would be upset if the reader decided to go another route.

[Anonymous]

i don't think its a big deal. if you were going to get your friend a 35th gift and if her sis & husband think this is what she'd most like, then i'd just contribute. if it feels wrong to you, either ignore the email or get her whatever gift you otherwise would have. i think its nice the sister/husband are planning something they think she will really love.

[Anonymous]

"If it's easier, I can also set up a PayPal account so you guys can "donate" online."


Wow! Sounds like a Queen Bee type... of the worst kind.

[Anonymous]

Barf. Who gets gifts for their 35th birthday from the general public anyway? Good lord. Delete and don't think about it.

[Anonymous]

Totally rubs me the wrong way. It's a shake-down for money. (A pay-pal account? Seriously?) If sister and husband can't afford to get her the present then they shouldn't get it... not shake her friends down for money. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

If I got an e-mail like that, I would be offended. I don't mind the group gift thing - if it is an event I would be buying a gift anyway. But how many adults buy other adults b-day presents? And "35" is not really a milestone age.

But if you are asking how to react, I'm just ignore it. Unless you want to participate. And if it were a good friend, I probably would participate and hide the fact I was offended.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's a big deal either. I think it's worded nicely. I guess people are objecting to giving money as a gift?? Or do you not usually give her a gift at all? I guess it would be weird to get if it was for a person that you don't usually give a gift to for her birthday, but it sounds like she's a close friend. Not that different to me than people who set up a honeymoon account for their wedding gifts. Also, she made it clear that the husband is going to pay for the remainder and didn't ask for a specific amount for a contribution. THAT would bother me - getting some email asking me to contribute $50 or something. If you don't want to donate to that gift just get her something else.

[Anonymous]

I normally hate solicitations, but this one doesn't bother me. She got the tone right. It makes it a little worse that Lisa has already hit up her friend group for four major life events in the last couple years.

I once had a friend ask for donations towards a good pair of running shoes for her husband. Knowing that he loves to run, and that they were really struggling financially, I ponied up. There are all kinds of factors.