How to adult 20-30 somethings meet?

[Anonymous]

It seems like no one meets organically anymore. Phones, online dating, etc. were not a thing when I was dating and I'm not sure that is a good fit for everyone. I'm seeing lots of older "kids" not dating or haven't really dated at all-- and not weirdos either. Smart. Pretty/handsome. Nice to talk to, young adults. (My DC is still in HS and no dating experience and can be more reserved/anxious so I worry about them as they get old and the "pool" of people isn't at their fingertips through school.)

How did you/your AC meet someone? Any success stories from people who were not Mr./Ms. Popular?

[Anonymous]

College, work, social activities. Sadly, most good young relationships end because of relocation or following general advice to experience several relationships before committing. In mid 30's they rush and settle with whoever is around and divorce by 45 due to incompatibility or infidelity due to too much experience and baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College, work, social activities. Sadly, most good young relationships end because of relocation or following general advice to experience several relationships before committing. In mid 30's they rush and settle with whoever is around and divorce by 45 due to incompatibility or infidelity due to too much experience and baggage.

In my experience, the ones who were more circumspect and waited a are the ones whose partnerships have lasted. It was the early birds that divorced more frequently.

[Anonymous]

Oldest - at a bar, coworker of friend
youngest - on an app, but he is young 20 and I don't think it's all that serious.

[Anonymous]

Your DD, encourage going to dances. Doesn't have to be with a date, could be with a group of girl friends. I think the push/parental expectation of developing the best social skills possible is important. Don't let they don't want to go be the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DD, encourage going to dances. Doesn't have to be with a date, could be with a group of girl friends. I think the push/parental expectation of developing the best social skills possible is important. Don't let they don't want to go be the answer.

Dances?

[Anonymous]

School, grad school, work, from other friends, having a dog, volunteering, etc.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 23 and one year out of college. Just about all of her friends are in or have recently had serious longterm relationships. I am not sure where you are hearing about older kids not dating. Most of the friends met their significant others at college or at parties hosted by their college friends. There are a few who met their significant other using dating apps but less than is probably the case among older adults.

[Anonymous]

I have a 30 year old single DS who now works 100% from home. To me, online dating is the wild,wild, west. He is nice looking, tall and has a good job, but thinks there should be an immediate “connection.” So far, he has had some “interesting” dates and I have told him it’s a numbers game. I don’t ask for too much info because he doesn’t tell me anyway 🙄 He does go to the gym regularly and I asked him if there are any nice looking girls there that he could strike up a conversation, but he told me,”That’s creepy mom!” Ha! What do I know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD, encourage going to dances. Doesn't have to be with a date, could be with a group of girl friends. I think the push/parental expectation of developing the best social skills possible is important. Don't let they don't want to go be the answer.

Dances?

Or bingo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College, work, social activities. Sadly, most good young relationships end because of relocation or following general advice to experience several relationships before committing. In mid 30's they rush and settle with whoever is around and divorce by 45 due to incompatibility or infidelity due to too much experience and baggage.

In my experience, the ones who were more circumspect and waited a are the ones whose partnerships have lasted. It was the early birds that divorced more frequently.

Yes. Ones who dated for few years after meeting and married in or after grad school, not ones who married in or right after college.

[Anonymous]

College is the only place where most people would have access to lots of same age peers and four years to test and evaluate their compatibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23 and one year out of college. Just about all of her friends are in or have recently had serious longterm relationships. I am not sure where you are hearing about older kids not dating. Most of the friends met their significant others at college or at parties hosted by their college friends. There are a few who met their significant other using dating apps but less than is probably the case among older adults.

OP. It's not "hearing" it, it's seeing it. With only 1 or two exceptions, none of my friends' kids in college and old her SOs. Some have never dated, ever.

[Anonymous]

Weddings are a common one. Often one person knows the groom; the other knows the bride. There's nothing creepy about asking a young woman to dance at a wedding. It's also a situation in which it's possible to find out a lot more about the person from a trusted source.

Co-ed sports teams can be good. There are a fair number of these for young professionals.

Alumni activities for their college. One smallish Catholic college has a weekend once a month working with Habitat for Humanity. A young woman in my neighborhood who was 30 and hadn't had a romance since college went, just expecting to do some community service. The "foreman" of her crew, who showed her how to use the tools and answered her questions during the day asked her if she'd like to grab a coffee with him at the end of the day. He was 33, two years ahead of her in college but they'd never known each other. They were married about a year later. Again, she knew that he went to the same college, was probably Catholic, and did community service--had to do quite a bit before he became a "foreman."

Some colleges sponsor networking events for people in certain fields. Most people go to get business or find out about job opportunities, but I know at least one couple who met at one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD, encourage going to dances. Doesn't have to be with a date, could be with a group of girl friends. I think the push/parental expectation of developing the best social skills possible is important. Don't let they don't want to go be the answer.

Dances?

Maybe they meant clubs?