Please help me understand my husband…
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Anonymous
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Who is not a clinical alcoholic but at age 45, seems to struggle with relaxation if he doesn’t have a glass of wine or shot of liquor.
I don’t understand. I know life is difficult and often monotonous but why this? |
Anonymous
| He's an alcoholic, sorry. |
Anonymous
^Not this. As you seem to be aware, there are clinical criteria for alcohol use disorder, and "needing a drink to relax" does not of itself make one an alcoholic. It might be leading down that path, but it also might not. I was in the habit of having one or two drinks a night (mid 40s, male). Probably haven't been drunk in a decade or so. The reason I quit drinking was because I started going to the gym every day after work. THAT takes the edge off and puts me in a good mood afterward. I discovered after a while (and after also starting to wear a Whoop fitness monitor thing) that the drinking was counterproductive to what I wanted to accomplish at the gym. No kidding, I know. Basically, the realization that a single serving of alcohol was 200 calories of straight sugar was what made me quit. I wouldn't sit around drinking a coke, so I won't sit around drinking a glass of wine, or a beer, or a scotch, or a gin and tonic. Beer is sugar. |
Anonymous
| ...wine, scotch, gin, etc., too, obviously... |
Anonymous
This. Not all alcoholics get drunk. |
Anonymous
| It might just be a habit. Would you feel the same way if he wanted a actor of ice cream every night? Or, an apple? Or, a Snickers bar? |
Anonymous
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Rolling eyes at the "alcoholic" posts. A drink or two most nights to relax is not alcoholism. There are specific criteria for that, as another poster noted.
A LOT of people like their cocktail in the evening and are not alcoholics. Could he be? Maybe, depending on the other criteria but NO ONE on here is in a position to know that. Only you OP. |
Anonymous
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Like anything it’s become a habit and the ritual of making the drink is now associated with relaxation after a stressful event. He may find other rituals over time but it’s not your place to suggest them now.
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Anonymous
| lol @ these responses. Even two glasses or shots a night wouldn’t make him an alcoholic. |
Anonymous
| If he drinks when his wife wants him to do chores, he's an alcoholic. Look it up. |
Anonymous
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I (OP) am not aware of him having a drink more than three nights a week (1 glass of wine/time). Obviously I am not stalking him so I can’t comment on what he does when we are not together, but I grew up with an alcoholic father so I do know the signs (outside of actual usage) well.
It’s just an expensive habit and yes, not healthy. He had a blood test recently and promised without me saying anything that he would stop the liquor even a night or two a week. As far as I know, he has. |
Anonymous
This truly does not seem like a big deal to me. He is otherwise healthy, has one drink three times a week… let him be. Shoot, join him |
Anonymous
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcohol-use-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20369243 |
Anonymous
Are you in a position of authority to diagnose his condition? Are you certified to diagnose his condition? |
Anonymous
DP. I am a board certified psychiatrist. Alcoholism is a not a slur. It is a real, chronic illness with a strong genetic component that causes multi-organ damage and end organ failure in late stages. There are specific treatments and medical interventions available to treat it. There is nothing the OP has said that indicates that her husband is an alcoholic. |