How to handle parent with severe mental health issue

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted about this before for different reasons but cannot find the post to re up it. My mother has severe anxiety, panic and ocd. It’s seemingly not controlled by medication despite her having a ‘renowned’ psychiatrist and many many meds that are constantly being tweaked. My father literally can’t go anywhere bc she freaks out. It’s totally unsustainable and if he passes away I will not be this person for her. She already has round the clock carers. She seems wildly detached from the reality of her situation. I’m thinking she may need to go for inpatient at some point with a facility who can try to sort her mental health out but does that exist? She has no one but the two of us but incapable of any independence. I have incredibly intense job and two kids, one of whom has sn of his own. They have $. Any advice welcome!

[Anonymous]

She should go to an assisted living facility.
Perhaps a guardian can be appointed for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should go to an assisted living facility.
Perhaps a guardian can be appointed for her.

Op - she refuses to do this. And additionally the thing that bothers me most and makes me so resentful is she’s in total denial that she has any of these issues. Totally self obsessed (but physically focused). Has barely ever conceded to get therapy

[Anonymous]

OP, While Dad is alive and responsible I would not worry about things. Live your best life.

It is very important to talk to Dad about how he has things structured if he passes. Does he specify anyone to be her healthcare and financial POA? What does he envision if he passes?

[Anonymous]

Agree w/PP.

[Anonymous]

Op - yes I am poa and most of that paperwork has been done.
I have been leaving it to him while he is still around but also would love to have it better controlled a. For his purposes and b. So I can get it into a better place now for when he isn’t.

It’s so crazy how unaware I guess parents of older generations were of mental health - or the stigma was so strong - that they aren’t even willing to admit it to themselves. And that really hinders assistance.

[Anonymous]

Sheppard Pratt

[Anonymous]

Is this your thread?

Anyone else’s mom have mental health problems?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1173562.page

"Really struggling with this. My mom has OCD/ anxiety and panic disorder. She has multiple drs and has been in the hospital for treatment, many many meds. Right now she is dealing with a physical ailment and she just sobs and screeches and panics all day. The drs are constantly tweaking and optimizing her meds. It’s just hard - and sometimes I am jealous of people with ‘normal’ moms or moms who help them. Anyone else? I really worry also about what to do with her when my dad passes away. I can’t imagine she will be able to live alone…"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this your thread?

Anyone else’s mom have mental health problems?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1173562.page

"Really struggling with this. My mom has OCD/ anxiety and panic disorder. She has multiple drs and has been in the hospital for treatment, many many meds. Right now she is dealing with a physical ailment and she just sobs and screeches and panics all day. The drs are constantly tweaking and optimizing her meds. It’s just hard - and sometimes I am jealous of people with ‘normal’ moms or moms who help them. Anyone else? I really worry also about what to do with her when my dad passes away. I can’t imagine she will be able to live alone…"

Or this?


What do you do with an elderly person who has severe panic disorder?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1185573.page

"Not sure what the long term plan can be in this case for my mother but curious what others have done. She has OCD and extreme anxiety and panic. My dad takes care of her with a live in carer, but it's not under control despite multiple doctors and psychiatrists. She cannot be left alone for more than a few minutes or she completely freaks out. Trying to set up systems more long term but no idea where to start. Money not a huge issue."

[Anonymous]

Mental illness. Mother has mental illness, not an “issue.” Words matter

[Anonymous]

How old is she?

[Anonymous]

OP, Dad seems ok with the Mom's care as it is now and has caregivers for Mom. If he is ok with things as they are there is not much you can do.

Understand in the US we no longer have mental institutions. It is legal to have untreated mental illness.

You should have a conversation with Dad about what he envisions after he passes.

Other than that, there is not much you can do now.
Live your best life with your spouse and your children.

Many people with mental illness do not want assistance and do not want the mental health drugs. It is legal to have untreated mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this your thread?

Anyone else’s mom have mental health problems?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1173562.page

"Really struggling with this. My mom has OCD/ anxiety and panic disorder. She has multiple drs and has been in the hospital for treatment, many many meds. Right now she is dealing with a physical ailment and she just sobs and screeches and panics all day. The drs are constantly tweaking and optimizing her meds. It’s just hard - and sometimes I am jealous of people with ‘normal’ moms or moms who help them. Anyone else? I really worry also about what to do with her when my dad passes away. I can’t imagine she will be able to live alone…"

Yesss - I couldn’t find it for some reason - Ty

[Anonymous]

My sibling has schizophrenia and is untreated and even undiagnosed. Theres almost nothing we can do unless they are a harm to others or themselves. They are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sibling has schizophrenia and is untreated and even undiagnosed. Theres almost nothing we can do unless they are a harm to others or themselves. They are not.

how do you interact with her and how do you handle issues as they arise?