Anyone else’s mom have mental health problems?

[Anonymous]

Really struggling with this. My mom has OCD/ anxiety and panic disorder. She has multiple drs and has been in the hospital for treatment, many many meds. Right now she is dealing with a physical ailment and she just sobs and screeches and panics all day. The drs are constantly tweaking and optimizing her meds. It’s just hard - and sometimes I am jealous of people with ‘normal’ moms or moms who help them. Anyone else? I really worry also about what to do with her when my dad passes away. I can’t imagine she will be able to live alone…

[Anonymous]

Dealing with this now. My mom is widowed, finally got a diagnosis of anxiety and depression and under care of a geriatrician who has prescribed her Wellbutrin and Remeron.

She is now in an independent living community

Can you begin to make some plans? Get her to a doctor for some baseline checks (MMSE-memory) and screenings? Make the physicians be the bearers of good and bad news.

Is your mom driving? Pro tip: in VA, you can anonymously request a medical review be opened on a driver. Packet of forms sent to driver with 30 days to respond. Hold or note placed on drivers license while under review then if no action, license gets suspended.

I have more tips as going through this now with mom and MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dealing with this now. My mom is widowed, finally got a diagnosis of anxiety and depression and under care of a geriatrician who has prescribed her Wellbutrin and Remeron.

She is now in an independent living community

Can you begin to make some plans? Get her to a doctor for some baseline checks (MMSE-memory) and screenings? Make the physicians be the bearers of good and bad news.

Is your mom driving? Pro tip: in VA, you can anonymously request a medical review be opened on a driver. Packet of forms sent to driver with 30 days to respond. Hold or note placed on drivers license while under review then if no action, license gets suspended.

I have more tips as going through this now with mom and MIL.

She has a thousand drs and not driving bc of physical stuff. But will never agree to go into any kind of home or community in a thousand years. The mh issue is not well controlled despite best efforts of extremely well regarded drs in large city. I feel kind of hopeless

[Anonymous]

All of our boomer parents are mentally ill in some way. This is the norm not the exception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dealing with this now. My mom is widowed, finally got a diagnosis of anxiety and depression and under care of a geriatrician who has prescribed her Wellbutrin and Remeron.

She is now in an independent living community

Can you begin to make some plans? Get her to a doctor for some baseline checks (MMSE-memory) and screenings? Make the physicians be the bearers of good and bad news.

Is your mom driving? Pro tip: in VA, you can anonymously request a medical review be opened on a driver. Packet of forms sent to driver with 30 days to respond. Hold or note placed on drivers license while under review then if no action, license gets suspended.

I have more tips as going through this now with mom and MIL.

She has a thousand drs and not driving bc of physical stuff. But will never agree to go into any kind of home or community in a thousand years. The mh issue is not well controlled despite best efforts of extremely well regarded drs in large city. I feel kind of hopeless

PP quoted and…ok…good she’s not driving. Really that’s huge. Also, she has doctors - excellent!

So here’s what will happen; her never agreeing (to overt stubborness) to “never go into any home” again is fine for now UNTIL there’s a precipitous event AKA an emergency that renders all of her choices irrelevant. For instance, she suffers a fall. Breaks a bone. Has to be admitted to the hospital for treatment or surgery. Rehabilitation will follow. Social workers will intervene and decide if appropriate and safe for her to return home and if so, under what kind of care and monitoring. Will a visiting nurse come once a day?

Or, she needs extensive modifications to her house. Is she willing to install an elevator? A chairlift? Install a ramp? Sleep on main floor in a hospital bed?

My dad got a dementia diagnosis and my mom refused any and all modifications to their house and moved my dad to skilled nursing where he lived out his life for 3 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dealing with this now. My mom is widowed, finally got a diagnosis of anxiety and depression and under care of a geriatrician who has prescribed her Wellbutrin and Remeron.

She is now in an independent living community

Can you begin to make some plans? Get her to a doctor for some baseline checks (MMSE-memory) and screenings? Make the physicians be the bearers of good and bad news.

Is your mom driving? Pro tip: in VA, you can anonymously request a medical review be opened on a driver. Packet of forms sent to driver with 30 days to respond. Hold or note placed on drivers license while under review then if no action, license gets suspended.

I have more tips as going through this now with mom and MIL.

This is brilliant, and much needed. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of our boomer parents are mentally ill in some way. This is the norm not the exception.

My MIL just got a dementia diagnosis at 74. In a way, this seems too young to me but I was raised by Silent Generation (1933-1943 -have to clarify?) parents.

Honestly, my Boomer ILs are polar opposites of my parents in almost every way. My parents were old before their time while my ILs always conveyed quiet, cool youthful energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of our boomer parents are mentally ill in some way. This is the norm not the exception.

Your boomer parents failed.

[Anonymous]

My mom has anxiety, depression, and some undiagnosed personality disorder. She's gotten better after she started doing intensive therapy after my dad died and finally went on meds. Its not easy being around her still and part of me is terrified of what will happen if she's ever diagnosed with a serious illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of our boomer parents are mentally ill in some way. This is the norm not the exception.

This! The really normal, mentally-healthy ones are few and far between

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of our boomer parents are mentally ill in some way. This is the norm not the exception.

This! The really normal, mentally-healthy ones are few and far between

Understatement of the year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of our boomer parents are mentally ill in some way. This is the norm not the exception.

This! The really normal, mentally-healthy ones are few and far between

Sure. And all millennials are all self centered and lazy. Are you part of the problem or part of the solution? Let’s just box up an entire generation and all hate each other.
Your kids are watching and learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dealing with this now. My mom is widowed, finally got a diagnosis of anxiety and depression and under care of a geriatrician who has prescribed her Wellbutrin and Remeron.

She is now in an independent living community

Can you begin to make some plans? Get her to a doctor for some baseline checks (MMSE-memory) and screenings? Make the physicians be the bearers of good and bad news.

Is your mom driving? Pro tip: in VA, you can anonymously request a medical review be opened on a driver. Packet of forms sent to driver with 30 days to respond. Hold or note placed on drivers license while under review then if no action, license gets suspended.

I have more tips as going through this now with mom and MIL.

She has a thousand drs and not driving bc of physical stuff. But will never agree to go into any kind of home or community in a thousand years. The mh issue is not well controlled despite best efforts of extremely well regarded drs in large city. I feel kind of hopeless

PP quoted and…ok…good she’s not driving. Really that’s huge. Also, she has doctors - excellent!

So here’s what will happen; her never agreeing (to overt stubborness) to “never go into any home” again is fine for now UNTIL there’s a precipitous event AKA an emergency that renders all of her choices irrelevant. For instance, she suffers a fall. Breaks a bone. Has to be admitted to the hospital for treatment or surgery. Rehabilitation will follow. Social workers will intervene and decide if appropriate and safe for her to return home and if so, under what kind of care and monitoring. Will a visiting nurse come once a day?

Or, she needs extensive modifications to her house. Is she willing to install an elevator? A chairlift? Install a ramp? Sleep on main floor in a hospital bed?

My dad got a dementia diagnosis and my mom refused any and all modifications to their house and moved my dad to skilled nursing where he lived out his life for 3 years.

op - all this has already happened. she is currently at home with round the clock care and my dad. but lives abroad so it's all a nightmare about to unfold. bc the carers cant be responsible for keeping her alive and kicking and not going crazy all alone with them.
i have no idea how to stop this train completely derailing any second.

[Anonymous]

My mom is, but she refuses treatment and self-medicated with alcohol. My dad enables her.

[Anonymous]

My boomer mom is on the spectrum and I think in the early stages of dementia. It's horrible, I can barely be around her.