Why do college students left out of bar-hopping get sympathy, but not college students left out of graduation?

[Anonymous]

I've heard lots of people tell stories about how they or their children didn't turn 21 until halfway through their senior year, and how terrible it was to be left out and not be able to go out with their friends. However, whenever I tell people about how my son will be graduating this spring after 5 years while he had to watch all his friends graduate last spring, it gets brushed off by everyone, even those who simultaneously think that they or their kid had it rough by not being able to go to bars with their friends. I understand that there are much bigger problems in the world than social isolation. What I don't understand is why it's understandable to feel left out when your friends go to bars without you, but not when your friends graduate without you.

[Anonymous]

Your child is either in a 5 year program or was too lazy to graduate in 4. Either way it was their choice.

[Anonymous]

Your kid took 5 years to graduate (nothing wrong with that) and you are somehow comparing that to having a late birthday and not being able to go to bars? This is a strange thing to focus on. There has to be more to this story.

[Anonymous]

The drinking age stopped no one at my college. Same with my daughter.

[Anonymous]

? My kids can't drink alcohol.They lack the enzyme, which is not uncommon among Asian populations.

Why are you seeking commiseration about drinking or not drinking? So weird.

[Anonymous]

Are you craving sympathy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is either in a 5 year program or was too lazy to graduate in 4. Either way it was their choice.

He signed up for a full load every semester, showed up to every class, and always turned in his assignments on time. He just didn't do well on the exams.

[Anonymous]

Maybe if he drank less alcohol and partied less he would have graduated in four years.

[Anonymous]

All of this is preventable. Sorry no sympathy here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is either in a 5 year program or was too lazy to graduate in 4. Either way it was their choice.

Graduating before 21 is also a child's choice. They could take a gap year or two or however much is necessary to legally drink as an undergraduate.

[Anonymous]

Neither situation needs an overload of sympathy.

Honestly, people these days are conditioned to complain and seek validation. They focus on the negative all the time. Op, I get you have some feelings about your kid graduating in 5 instead of 4. Your friends are not required to understand and validate you over and over again. Perhaps you can get a therapist to help you process it.

I know I sound cold in this post, I’m not usually a cold person, I’m just getting kind of fed up with everyone vocally focusing on negativity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is either in a 5 year program or was too lazy to graduate in 4. Either way it was their choice.

Graduating before 21 is also a child's choice. They could take a gap year or two or however much is necessary to legally drink as an undergraduate.

No, mine will graduate at 21. They started with an early fall birthday. If your kid needs a gap year to drink they need a treatment program not college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is either in a 5 year program or was too lazy to graduate in 4. Either way it was their choice.

He signed up for a full load every semester, showed up to every class, and always turned in his assignments on time. He just didn't do well on the exams.

Literally anyone can sign up to a class, show up to a class, and turn in assignments on time. Failing exams suggests that he either wasn't working hard enough, or was not intelligent enough to be doing this course. Neither merits sympathy.

[Anonymous]

My kid graduated college at 20. I didn’t feel sympathy that he was not legal to drink the entire time he was in school. OP- I don’t think people care how long it takes to graduate, I wish your kid well and congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard lots of people tell stories about how they or their children didn't turn 21 until halfway through their senior year, and how terrible it was to be left out and not be able to go out with their friends. However, whenever I tell people about how my son will be graduating this spring after 5 years while he had to watch all his friends graduate last spring, it gets brushed off by everyone, even those who simultaneously think that they or their kid had it rough by not being able to go to bars with their friends. I understand that there are much bigger problems in the world than social isolation. What I don't understand is why it's understandable to feel left out when your friends go to bars without you, but not when your friends graduate without you.

Who tf talks or thinks about any of this