Buying a house with young kids

[Anonymous]

I have 2 toddlers and am looking to buy our first house. Kids will go to public school (or at least start off there). My budget is in the $1M - 1.5M range. Do you think it's better to aim for the higher end of the budget so we can look for something closer to our "dream" house that we can live in for a very long time and not have to move, which is a pain? Or is it common for people to outgrow or want to upgrade their house at some point, such that having a lower budget is fine now? I'm also thinking that it might be easier to meet other young families in the neighborhood if we buy something more modest (just by virtue of younger people having less cash). Plus it actually seems more manageable to raise smaller kids in a smaller house since they require so much supervision. And of course, given rates right now, it would be nice to avoid paying all that extra interest.

Any insight here based on people's own experiences? I guess my question comes down to whether it's reasonable to move into a house knowing that we'll want to move at some point, or to stretch a bit financially to get something we would love for the long run.

[Anonymous]

What area are you looking in? $1m in some parts of the DMV will get you very different things.

But I’d generally say look at houses $200k under your max so you can escalate and get the houses you’re looking at. If you look at houses up to your max you likely won’t be able to get them since you’ll be in bidding wars with people who can go 10% higher at least.

[Anonymous]

For my first home, when planning to have kids, I bought a new build 3BR townhouse that was on the smaller side but compared to older SFH had better bedroom sizes, closets, and an extra half bath.

My goals were:

-an elementary school I was ok with sending my kids to
-a house big enough we wouldn't have to move for kindergarten
-extra bathrooms
-new build so no renovations needed
-nearby community park


I gave up:

-4th bedroom
-prestige school district
-finished basement
-charming historical architecture style
-single family dwelling/unattached house flexibility
-gardening beyond deck containers
-neighborhood kids (our neighborhood is mostly DINKs)

So far the tradeoffs have been worth it. Our oldest child was raised birth to 17 in this house. We are almost to downsize mode now. Our kids even wanted to keep sharing a bedroom so we never had to disassemble our guest bedroom/upstairs office. And we avoided having a lot of house chores over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my first home, when planning to have kids, I bought a new build 3BR townhouse that was on the smaller side but compared to older SFH had better bedroom sizes, closets, and an extra half bath.

My goals were:

-an elementary school I was ok with sending my kids to
-a house big enough we wouldn't have to move for kindergarten
-extra bathrooms
-new build so no renovations needed
-nearby community park


I gave up:

-4th bedroom
-prestige school district
-finished basement
-charming historical architecture style
-single family dwelling/unattached house flexibility
-gardening beyond deck containers
-neighborhood kids (our neighborhood is mostly DINKs)

So far the tradeoffs have been worth it. Our oldest child was raised birth to 17 in this house. We are almost to downsize mode now. Our kids even wanted to keep sharing a bedroom so we never had to disassemble our guest bedroom/upstairs office. And we avoided having a lot of house chores over the years.

Did your oldest go to neighborhood schools? Curious bc you mentioned only the elementary school.

[Anonymous]

I am in a similar situation (one toddler and another on the way) and prioritized and de-prioritized as follows:

+ short walk to a good elementary school
+ short walk to a park and playground
+ short walk or drive to good daycare and pre-k options
+ around other families
+ no renovations needed
+ at least one extra bedroom for an in-law to occasionally visit and assist with childcare
+ short drive for amenities and errands
+ away from a busy street

- single family home
- large bedrooms
- large backyard and garden
- walkable to other amenities
- great curb appeal
- a lot with lots of privacy
- prestigious high school

[Anonymous]

Does your commute matter?

(And when I read the thread title I immediately wondered if kids convey.)

[Anonymous]

We chose to buy something under our budget that had space and location but needed a ton of work (very outdated). I really liked getting to choose my finishes, appliances, fixtures and landscaping. We did it over time so we weren't locked into a larger mortgage but could cash flow the upgrades.

[Anonymous]

This is a hard question many of us struggle with. Some of it depends on personality. Many people do buy a home and then use the equity to jump to a bigger one later. But just think about you your spouses temperament, my husband realllly doesn’t want to move for example. And if you end up in a neighborhood you love, with neighbors you love, it can be hard to want to move. We ended up doing an addition instead. We could still probably use more room but prefer to keep our smaller house and walkable close knit community. Also you never know what will happen (many of us have low interest rates now so people that thought they would move aren’t for example but it can also be unexpected job changes, an unexpected pregnancy etc)

My recommendation would be to stretch some if you can comfortably, to get a house you could be happy in and/or has room to add on if you decided not to leave. It doesn’t have to be dream home or at the top of your budget, but one that has a little room to grow, a little room to renovate. You may still decide to move in later elementary but if you end up loving it or anything changes you can stay.

Where are you looking where you are comparing younger families at $1M vs 1.5 etc?

[Anonymous]

We bought ten years ago so prices were way lower but we went about $100,000 over our budget and it was worth it for us. Got a SFH 4 bedroom/2.5 bath in Fairfax county for $700,000. I am so glad we did because we rapidly had 3 kids and if we went for a smaller house we would have outgrown it quickly. We are still in the same house today. Have done probably $150,000 worth of renovations.

[Anonymous]

Adding that to your exact question - yes it is reasonable and many people do it. Very common to make a “jump” or at least it was before interest rates went up. But consider the things mentioned above

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought ten years ago so prices were way lower but we went about $100,000 over our budget and it was worth it for us. Got a SFH 4 bedroom/2.5 bath in Fairfax county for $700,000. I am so glad we did because we rapidly had 3 kids and if we went for a smaller house we would have outgrown it quickly. We are still in the same house today. Have done probably $150,000 worth of renovations.

Pp here - will add we love our neighbors and with a low interest rate we probably won’t move. We thought we would upgrade (salary is much higher now) but it doesn’t seem worth it.

Also we had a hard stop of being within r 12-15 miles from DC since DH has to commute.

[Anonymous]

We bought our home 23 years ago and never thought we would stay, smallish SFH. We had good schools and neighborhood kids. We would look to upgrade over the years to a larger SFH, but would always come up with a reason that it did not make sense. It did seem small when the kids were teens but we adjusted and remodeled. We have spent over $300K (maybe even more) on updates (basement, bath, kitchen, screened in porch) and love our home. We have decided to stay until we retire from work, even though the kids are grown.

[Anonymous]

We bought a family house when our oldest was born and never moved. Like you i hate moving. We had all the space needed for our eventual three kids. It was newer but we renovated the kitchen and finished the basement (got a lower initial price for unfinished basement). It worked great for us. Now the house seems big for just us two but it's manageable. I'd say buy the house you foresee needing. It's also costly to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What area are you looking in? $1m in some parts of the DMV will get you very different things.

But I’d generally say look at houses $200k under your max so you can escalate and get the houses you’re looking at. If you look at houses up to your max you likely won’t be able to get them since you’ll be in bidding wars with people who can go 10% higher at least.

We are mostly focusing on Rockville and Potomac. So $1M won’t get us far, and we can afford 1.5M but it’s not ideal with interest rates now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your commute matter?

(And when I read the thread title I immediately wondered if kids convey.)

Neither of us commute to DC or have to go in frequently.