Buying a house with young kids

[Anonymous]

I'm responding because I have a similar conundrum as OP.

Do people normally "upgrade" their homes? My family certainly never did. I had friends whose parents upgraded their homes, but this almost always happened after my friends were in college.

I have a feeling that it becomes quite hard to uproot your life from a place you've been living for 10+ years, especially if you have to take into consideration the kids' schools and activities, and you and your spouse's jobs.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the responses all! I appreciate hearing your thoughts.

Part of my thinking is that since we’ve never lived in a house before (always lives in an apartment), pretty much any house with multiple floors seems like a big change in terms of having more space. But I can see myself getting used to the house and then wishing we had something nicer/bigger as the kids get older. If interest rates were lower I’d be less concerned, but the monthly payment gets pretty ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your commute matter?

(And when I read the thread title I immediately wondered if kids convey.)

LOL just reread the title. Someday we may be able to buy a house and kids together, just get it all done at once.

[Anonymous]

Personally with your budget (which should get you something in almost any zip code), I would focus on location over worrying about a specific house size (so long as your basic space needs are met).

Then once you have your ideal location set, decide on budget. $1m doesn’t get much close in, but could be enough to buy something farther out. Whereas going closer to $1.5m will get you something in my neighborhood in Arlington, but it will be a renovated older home or maybe new townhome.

For neighborhoods with young kids, I would either move somewhere that has heavy demand/density (tons of kids in my N Arlington neighborhood where homes are close together) or something farther out that is relatively new. Because newer SFH construction tends to be younger buyers.

My friends who end up complaining about a lack of kids in the neighborhood are the ones who buy 30-40 year old construction in less dense areas. Because those homes were all built by people who are now empty nesters and may be aging in place and there just aren’t enough people around to increase your chances of having same age kids nearby. Eventually some families move in, but it’s a sprinkling over time and more of a crapshoot.

[Anonymous]

Do you have the stomach to move again? I bought my starter and forever home because I just don't have the time or energy to move house again. And sometimes it's just out of our hands like the pandemic or interest rates.

So I picked strategically. Budget 1.5 million. Great school pyramid for all levels. Lots of same age kids, playgrounds, public transportation and shops for when the kids get older. Think through your needs in all lifecycles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have the stomach to move again? I bought my starter and forever home because I just don't have the time or energy to move house again. And sometimes it's just out of our hands like the pandemic or interest rates.

So I picked strategically. Budget 1.5 million. Great school pyramid for all levels. Lots of same age kids, playgrounds, public transportation and shops for when the kids get older. Think through your needs in all lifecycles.

One more thing to consider...get some yard space in case you want to bump up/out and renovate. 8 years after buying, we added a guest suite with bedroom, bathroom and kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Are you house people ir community people. Some buy the smaller house and walk to everything, hang out in the park and playground, go the grocery store multiple times a week etc. Some prefer a bigger space and spend time in their own yard, costco tripe once a week etc. We split the difference for ourselves and while i wish we had a tiny bit more space, i enjoy the community and the neighbors and close proximity to things and very limited driving i need to do.

[Anonymous]

Really depends on your preferences. You have a pretty nice budget so you should be able to get a larger TH or a smaller SFH with that (if you want to live close to DC/walkable areas like N Arlington, WOTP, or Bethesda). Just depends on if you want to be close to everything or not. If you dont care, technically you could spend at the lower end of your budget and still get a nicely size (ie 3-4k sq ft SFH) but further out like Vienna.

Really depends on you, I would say don't get at the max of your budget, but also don't get at the low end of it either (as you may regret it later on/need more space, and god knows what is going to happen in housing prices in the next 5 years/how much higher they will be, or if rates will come back down to earth or not). Aim for the middle ground I guess.

We had a similar predicament (but much lower budget than yours, our max was $1m) and ended up settling for a 900k TH. We don't have kids yet but we bought since we are planning on having kids soon, and did not want to raise them in a 1br+den rental. But at same time wanted to have decent-good elementary and middle school, while still being walkable to places (we are 30 afterall so still like to go out and etc). A part of me regrets not trying to go to $1m or even higher, but would have been financially irresponsible to do so in our case (our HHI is only 300k, and since we are immigrants we dont have family in the US that can easily come to watch future kids/help with childcare).

Last, before you decide, carefully calculate your monthly costs outside of housing (so childcare, going out, any other debt you have, food, etc) and track it carefully over the next few months to get an idea of what, on average, you spend. Based on that then see what would be the max you can reasonably afford (by reasonably i mean, after all costs, income tax, 401k contributions and etc, do you have anything left over or not, ideally you will still have at least 3k-4k left to cover emergencies and etc)

[Anonymous]

Moving is a hassle and expensive. There’s also no telling what the market will be a few years from now. We’re planning to buy in a place where the kids can to straight from K through high school.

[Anonymous]

Consider the lot and whether there is an option to expand at some point without needing a zoning exception, etc. The house we bought pre-kids that seemed more than adequate (3 beds, 2.5 baths, 1650 sq ft) didn't really work with two toddlers. But we were able to renovate and to add 1300 square feet and take it to 4 beds and 3.5 baths as a "matter of right" zoning-wise.

Personally, with little kids, I would not want to buy a house that I expected to have to sell in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider the lot and whether there is an option to expand at some point without needing a zoning exception, etc. The house we bought pre-kids that seemed more than adequate (3 beds, 2.5 baths, 1650 sq ft) didn't really work with two toddlers. But we were able to renovate and to add 1300 square feet and take it to 4 beds and 3.5 baths as a "matter of right" zoning-wise.

Personally, with little kids, I would not want to buy a house that I expected to have to sell in a few years.

How much does this type of renovation cost?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider the lot and whether there is an option to expand at some point without needing a zoning exception, etc. The house we bought pre-kids that seemed more than adequate (3 beds, 2.5 baths, 1650 sq ft) didn't really work with two toddlers. But we were able to renovate and to add 1300 square feet and take it to 4 beds and 3.5 baths as a "matter of right" zoning-wise.

Personally, with little kids, I would not want to buy a house that I expected to have to sell in a few years.

How much does this type of renovation cost?

$400k+, easy.

[Anonymous]

My last 3 homes were my forever homes

That being said, why not buy something that you will enjoy while you live there rather than waiting for the next nicer house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider the lot and whether there is an option to expand at some point without needing a zoning exception, etc. The house we bought pre-kids that seemed more than adequate (3 beds, 2.5 baths, 1650 sq ft) didn't really work with two toddlers. But we were able to renovate and to add 1300 square feet and take it to 4 beds and 3.5 baths as a "matter of right" zoning-wise.

Personally, with little kids, I would not want to buy a house that I expected to have to sell in a few years.

How much does this type of renovation cost?

It was almost $400k, 10 years ago (2014).

[Anonymous]

Buy your forever house. We bought our starter home in a great school boundary but when it was time to level up, we could not afford a larger home in the same school boundary.