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Has anyone found something that worked for immense trauma? 3/4 of my family of origin suffered from addiction and died in my childhood/20’s (parents + sibling). I’ve really struggled with talk therapy because there is just not enough time to get through the family history and I haven’t found a therapist that can really even remember the details because there is so much going on in my family of origin.
I’m 40, happily married since age 30, two wonderful children (elementary school aged), financially stable, have a great group of friends BUT I deal with debilitating general anxiety/low self esteem from the abuse of a parent and the sudden deaths. Is there another kind of therapy or even alternative treatment that would be a good fit for me? I’ve heard of ketamine treatments? Any advice would be appreciated!! |
| Move on with life. Dwelling on the last won't help. |
| EMDR therapy. Helped my relative who witnessed their parent murdered. |
OP, ignore this person, who has no clue about trauma. |
| OP, I am sorry trauma has happened to you. I am in a similar situation but haven’t found a therapist that has been able to help me in the long term and my body seems very resistant to drug therapy (ssris). Some days are a real struggle. I wish I had a good recommendation but I want you to know you’re not alone. |
| EMDR is great for treating trauma. It might still take some time, and a therapist might still need background info, but it’s been very helpful for many people that I know. |
| I have tried talk therapy twice, and both times made it worse and not better. I would never go again after the last one told me I should never have children or get married (I got married right after that, had a kid a few years later, and have been way happier than I was then - going on 15 years now). I think the problem is that trauma experienced growing up becomes a part of you - it's not just something that bothers me, it's a part of my identity, and therefore I can't ever get rid of it or get over it, because it's not like I have to think about it for it to affect me. I don't think therapists understand that. |
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I have PTSD from childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, and used to dissociate. What worked was a combination of things: antidepressant and anxiety meds, a great therapist, EMDR, light exercise, spending time outside, journaling, and meditation.
There's no one magic bullet. Trauma-informed therapy is key along with time, doing the work, and being open to trying different things. Best wishes, OP. You can move through the trauma. |
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Learning (and ultimately accepting) that there is no "cure" for PTSD/CPTSD helped me immensely. Talk therapy can exacerbate your pain because you are forced to relive your trauma. Approaching therapy from a behavioral perspective in which your goal is to find coping mechanisms to improve your daily life (like tactics on how to deal with intrusive thoughts or reduce hypervigilance) rather than simply "healing" or "getting better" could be beneficial. Most trauma sufferers I know agree that we don't ever truly heal...we live with this and carry it throughout our lives. But we can choose not to suffer daily, and affect our families and friends (the ones we chose, in the life we built - where trauma no longer lives).
I second the PP's recs for EMDR. |
Get a genetic test. Mine told me I don't respond well to SSRIs, which explains a lot! |
| ACT therapy. It will help you accept the trauma and keep on doing what you value. |
| I would say first DBT therapy followed by EMDR. I’m a therapist trained on both. |
I don’t know about how EMDR works but Acceptance and Committment Therapy (ACT) is a type of talk therapy that is oriented towards finding solutions and moving forward instead of dwelling on the negatives. |
Curious why you would recommend DBT? OP says the primary symptom is anxiety and depression, not lack of emotional regulation/self-harm. What is the evidence on DBT and trauma? |
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I grew up with a lot of violence, addicition and suicide in my immediate family. For me, I found relationship counseling far more helpful in dealing with my issues than individual counseling. A a PP noted, individual counseling resulted in me re-living a lot of the trauma and it was horrible. Maybe it was the counselors I was working with but, unlike with relationship counseling, I never felt i was making progress or moving forward even when I asked for exercises, techniques, etc. It was just rehashing the worst moments of my life.
There was a period that I took an SSRI for 9 months and it was far more helpful than therapy ever was. It was NOT during a time I'd been triggered but when my DH was 2 years into a major depressive episode. I was burned out, had no resiliency and that SSRI took a lot of the emotional regulation load off me. I don't know how it works but it eased the burden I was carrying. That was about 15 years ago. I'm now nearly 60 and post-menopausal. About 3 years ago, the PTSD flared and I started having nightmares again. Just last October, I went to a new OB/GYN to see about HRT. I'm not a candidate but she did suggest I take an SSRI again because the data indicates that post menopausal women often develop anxiety. I'm on a low dose and it's been amazing! I had no idea how much anxiety I'd developed. I feel so much more like my old self and haven't 'wallowed' in my trauma since starting it. KWIM? HTH |