His snoring is my problem?
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Anonymous
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Dh's snoring has gotten worse and worse over the years and he will do nothing about it. I read on the health forum about husbands who use pillows or tennis balls to stay on their sides or cpap machines or tape their mouths shut. For me, nothing. I just got yelled at for asking him to stay on his side so he stops sounding like a motor boat.
I have a job and all the parenting responsibilities and need to sleep, too. At this point, i would do separate bedrooms but we don't have one to spare. It's just not fair. He won't take any action to be responsible for his sleep disruptions. It isn't just snoring. He flails arms and legs and flips over constantly. I've timed the intervals between large movements and sometimes it is less than 5 minutes. He injured me once by smacking me in the head with his elbow on its way down from a flail so I use a pillow between our heads to give him an elbow rest that isn't my head. He did a sleep study several years ago but apparently passed his one non-flailing night that night so the doctor saw nothing. I provided her a video later and she said she understood after seeing the video but "was not inclined to treat" the problem. DH won't do anything further to limit the thrashing and flailing and snoring. Because that's all my problem. |
Anonymous
| I'm getting a flail every 45 second now and there have been three full body flips since I posted 7 mins ago. He seems fast asleep. And now he threw in a big kick just for fun. This is impossible. But it is a me problem. |
Anonymous
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Now he's doing that thing where he lifts an arm or leg into the air and then, when it starts to drop, he jerks it back up again. The video i took for the doctor was of him doing this with his head-smacking arm for about 10 straight minutes.
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Anonymous
| Twin mattress on floor in master or preferably another room |
Anonymous
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He needs to sleep on the couch - or in a room farthest away from you.
The man doesn’t care about your health and wellbeing. |
Anonymous
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This might be periodic limb movement disorder? That was floated once as a dx for me as well as RLS. RLS you can attempt to treat with meds. I’m not sure about periodic limb movement disorder
I toss and turn and kick. I don’t expect anyone to share a bed with me. At a minimum, squeeze another mattress into the room, even if it is just a twin. Earplugs and white noise. Try to carve out space in house for you. Is there a den you could convert to a bedroom? Could the kids double up? |
Anonymous
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The doctor said it wasn’t a problem and wouldn’t treat, yet you think your husband is being unreasonable.
I think you have bigger problems in your marriage than snoring. |
Anonymous
| He's not going to do anything. You need to sleep somewhere else. You will sleep better even if it's on an air mattress in the living room. |
Anonymous
| Get two beds in your room for the flailing around. For the snoring you could try earplugs or try to fall asleep first. |
Anonymous
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This used to be common in our bedroom:
*smack* "Stop snoring!" "I'm not snoring...I'm awake" We are in separate bedrooms now and much happier. |
Anonymous
| Would a bigger bed help? |
Anonymous
This |
Anonymous
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As a PP said, the repetitive flailing is Periodic Limb Movement. A doctor can prescribe a relaxant for that and also restless legs, which your husband also probably has.
I’m sorry, OP. You have my sympathies. After years of poor sleep, we decided (I decided) on separate bedrooms. I realize you don’t have that option, which sucks. |
Anonymous
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I'm all for him moving to a new room, but you can't control his actions (obviously).
So YOU move to a new room. If you don't have a guest room (we don't) then share a room with your child, or put your children in the same room, or sleep on the couch. |
Anonymous
| Vow. I would have move long ago. Mine was nothing like that, but I made him sleep on the couch. |