What’s you and your spouses love language?

[Anonymous]

Does it work?

[Anonymous]

Physical touch and quality time, works!!

[Anonymous]

Well, we each have different ones. Mine is acts of service. His is words of affirmation. We both agree on quality time and physical touch. Gifts are nice but not a big deal to either of us. I make sure I give him the words he needs. Conversely, he makes sure he does the acts of service I need.

I think the key is figuring out what the other person needs and then how you can give it to them, and vice versa (obviously it doesn't work well if you're not both doing it). I grew up in a household where we said I love you a lot and we definitely say that in our house now and I don't think it's meaningless but it's something I'm just used to (and maybe take it for granted a bit?). My parents both worked (lawyer and accountant) when I was growing up, so time was a precious commodity, and they both made an effort to spend time with each other and with us kids engaging in acts of service, and I think that's why I like that language.

My husband's household had a verbally abusive dad and an emotionally abusive mom, so he got basically nothing but really just wanted someone to say they loved him. After a year of us dating he said my dad had told my husband he loved him more times in that year than his dad had said in his entire life. So those words mean a lot to him because he didn't have them growing up. To me they're important but expected, which is why I have a different language. But we're both happy to give the other what they need.

[Anonymous]

physical touch and quality time. i think you need all of them to some degree and it's important to know what your partner needs and what they like to give.

[Anonymous]

Love languages was recently debunked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Physical touch and quality time, works!!

Whenever we combine the two of these, good things happen.

[Anonymous]

Acts of service. It is my DH’s, not mine (I prefer gifts and words of affirmation), but it is pretty much impossible for him to “learn a new language” and I’ve learned to appreciate that I won’t get surprise bouquets of flowers but when I complain that I need to get gas early in the morning before work and it’s 11pm, he will jump up and head out to fill my tank, happy about the opportunity to make my life easier.

Looking for someone to marry? A partner who literally enjoys any chance to make your life easier is a good find.

[Anonymous]

For me, it’s quality time. For him, it’s physical touch. Easy to get lost with all his work travel and other commitments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Acts of service. It is my DH’s, not mine (I prefer gifts and words of affirmation), but it is pretty much impossible for him to “learn a new language” and I’ve learned to appreciate that I won’t get surprise bouquets of flowers but when I complain that I need to get gas early in the morning before work and it’s 11pm, he will jump up and head out to fill my tank, happy about the opportunity to make my life easier.

Looking for someone to marry? A partner who literally enjoys any chance to make your life easier is a good find.

Oh, forgot to mention I do acts of service for him too. He is overjoyed when he thinks he needs to run to the store for one of the things he regularly takes to work as a snack and finds that I already picked it up, lol.

[Anonymous]

Spending time and doing something fun together. A date night is nice but it’s too formulaic. We will often play golf in the late afternoon, have dinner and end up in the shower where the fun begins.

[Anonymous]

His are acts of service any physical touch. I think this is true for a lot of guys.
Mine are gifts and food.

[Anonymous]

I think lots of guys say physical touch because they are dumdums and think it means sex.

[Anonymous]

My DW's Love Langague is $$$$$$. More $$$ = more love.

[Anonymous]

My love language is being left the whole fsck alone, thanks. Ex liked acts of service. The incompatibility should've been obvious...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, we each have different ones. Mine is acts of service. His is words of affirmation. We both agree on quality time and physical touch. Gifts are nice but not a big deal to either of us. I make sure I give him the words he needs. Conversely, he makes sure he does the acts of service I need.

I think the key is figuring out what the other person needs and then how you can give it to them, and vice versa (obviously it doesn't work well if you're not both doing it). I grew up in a household where we said I love you a lot and we definitely say that in our house now and I don't think it's meaningless but it's something I'm just used to (and maybe take it for granted a bit?). My parents both worked (lawyer and accountant) when I was growing up, so time was a precious commodity, and they both made an effort to spend time with each other and with us kids engaging in acts of service, and I think that's why I like that language.

My husband's household had a verbally abusive dad and an emotionally abusive mom, so he got basically nothing but really just wanted someone to say they loved him. After a year of us dating he said my dad had told my husband he loved him more times in that year than his dad had said in his entire life. So those words mean a lot to him because he didn't have them growing up. To me they're important but expected, which is why I have a different language. But we're both happy to give the other what they need.

+1. Same. You articulated this well. Do you ever resent your DH's family?