Reply to What’s you and your spouses love language?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, we each have different ones. Mine is acts of service. His is words of affirmation. We both agree on quality time and physical touch. Gifts are nice but not a big deal to either of us. I make sure I give him the words he needs. Conversely, he makes sure he does the acts of service I need.

I think the key is figuring out what the other person needs and then how you can give it to them, and vice versa (obviously it doesn't work well if you're not both doing it). I grew up in a household where we said I love you a lot and we definitely say that in our house now and I don't think it's meaningless but it's something I'm just used to (and maybe take it for granted a bit?). My parents both worked (lawyer and accountant) when I was growing up, so time was a precious commodity, and they both made an effort to spend time with each other and with us kids engaging in acts of service, and I think that's why I like that language.

My husband's household had a verbally abusive dad and an emotionally abusive mom, so he got basically nothing but really just wanted someone to say they loved him. After a year of us dating he said my dad had told my husband he loved him more times in that year than his dad had said in his entire life. So those words mean a lot to him because he didn't have them growing up. To me they're important but expected, which is why I have a different language. But we're both happy to give the other what they need.[/quote]

+1. Same.  You articulated this well. Do you ever resent your DH's family? [/quote]

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