So far I love being divorced

[Anonymous]

Other than the lower income, but then again I was spending a lot to make up for my unhappiness with XH. We had been in couples therapy on and off for years. I feel like I got a second chance at life.

I'm better looking now that I'm not depressed by his toxic energy, have a career, a boyfriend to have amazing sex with, and my kids are well adjusted because XH and I keep drama to ourselves. No by most UMC standards my life doesn't look good - but the revolution is inside. I don't need as much because I feel joyful. Taking walk and spending time in my yard is peace.

It has been tough trying to reinvent myself but I am so happy sometimes I have to pinch myself.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Same. Best thing to ever happen. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Curious- how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Other than the lower income, but then again I was spending a lot to make up for my unhappiness with XH. We had been in couples therapy on and off for years. I feel like I got a second chance at life.

I'm better looking now that I'm not depressed by his toxic energy, have a career, a boyfriend to have amazing sex with, and my kids are well adjusted because XH and I keep drama to ourselves. No by most UMC standards my life doesn't look good - but the revolution is inside. I don't need as much because I feel joyful. Taking walk and spending time in my yard is peace.

It has been tough trying to reinvent myself but I am so happy sometimes I have to pinch myself.

Good for you, enjoy freedom and new partner. Marriage is a two way toll road, if one or both are unhappy then divorce is an exit.

That bring said, with a broken home and parents with new love interests, kids probably aren't the winners but they'll have to cope.

If your X tried therapy, was a good provider and a good post divorce co parent than probably wasn't bad person? I hope your happiness lasts long.

[Anonymous]

"Kids are well adjusted"

Well, if adults can't adjust, kids have to try to adjust their reality. What choice do they have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Kids are well adjusted"

Well, if adults can't adjust, kids have to try to adjust their reality. What choice do they have?

Maybe you can share that magic wand you have that made you so well-adjusted.

[Anonymous]

I was so much happier once I got out too, and so were the kids. Glad you’re on the other side.

[Anonymous]

Same here.

--Your ex

But I wish you the best and am really glad that we aren't fighting in front of the kids, since we both love them even though we don't love each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious- how old are you?

41. Divorced 2 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kids are well adjusted"

Well, if adults can't adjust, kids have to try to adjust their reality. What choice do they have?

Maybe you can share that magic wand you have that made you so well-adjusted.

I understand there are a lot of bitter kids of divorce here but surely there are well adjusted kids of divorce. Working with my therapist I've been told kids can tell when their parents are happy and my kids remember XH and I fighting a lot. They like their homes and our new relationships. Their standard of living, financially, hasn't dropped and they got to stay at their school. School teachers and other professionals are reporting back kids are thriving, in fact my special needs kid is having the best year yet! To me, that means well adjusted.

[Anonymous]

Even during aftermath of divorce, new home, kids, special needs, job and dealing with everyone's trauma, you adjusted well, dated and found a steady boyfriend. That's a lot to achieve in 2 years. I'm amazed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kids are well adjusted"

Well, if adults can't adjust, kids have to try to adjust their reality. What choice do they have?

Maybe you can share that magic wand you have that made you so well-adjusted.

I understand there are a lot of bitter kids of divorce here but surely there are well adjusted kids of divorce. Working with my therapist I've been told kids can tell when their parents are happy and my kids remember XH and I fighting a lot. They like their homes and our new relationships. Their standard of living, financially, hasn't dropped and they got to stay at their school. School teachers and other professionals are reporting back kids are thriving, in fact my special needs kid is having the best year yet! To me, that means well adjusted.

PP directly above. Yes, it does to me too. But I lot of very unhappy people love to come on here and try to guilt trip the ones who decided that divorce was the only solution. It makes them feel superior and justified in staying miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even during aftermath of divorce, new home, kids, special needs, job and dealing with everyone's trauma, you adjusted well, dated and found a steady boyfriend. That's a lot to achieve in 2 years. I'm amazed.

I'm a work in progress but the freedom and feeling of control over my own life is helping me move forward. It's like a new lease on life. I didn't even realize how bad the marriage was until I was out.

[Anonymous]

Go read Lyz Lenz's book that comes out today. This American Ex-Wife.

Congrats on rebuilding your life. My parents split, and I think seeing them both find happiness was really empowering for me. I choose my husband more carefully than they did, but I also know that if my relationship isn't serving me, I can move on and be ok.