disappointed DC wants to be a teacher

[Anonymous]

DC is a straight A student and a strong athlete in high school. SAT is above 1500, and taking challenging AP classes. Yet DC says their goal is to become a teacher and lead a stable, anxiety-free life. I am so disappointed that they're not more ambitious, given their commitment to do well in school. I'm hoping that going to college will open their eyes to other options and get them excited about alternative professional pathways. Am I a bad parent for thinking this way?

[Anonymous]

If your DC thinks being a teacher is going to provide an anxiety-free life, they are delusional.

- signed, a teacher

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re a bad person for wanting your obviously capable child to want more ambition out of their future

I believe that you can expose them to other areas of higher learning - such as being a college professor or being on a school board.

However, if money isn’t the reason they are working than I think we need more teachers like your child who has the passion for it rather than a last resort.

I think you raised a humble child, that wants a life of peace and you should know that your kid will be rewarded in many ways going the teacher or any lower stress profession.

It really takes a special person to be a teacher and in this day and age. We need those types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DC thinks being a teacher is going to provide an anxiety-free life, they are delusional.

- signed, a teacher

Yeah, Hopefully this kid does a lot of research, starting with talking to current teachers

[Anonymous]

OP here. One of the problems is that DC goes to a pricey private school with amazing facilities. The teachers are great for the most part and engage with every student. DC is inspired by them and wants to be like them. The problem really is me. I'm the type-A striver parent who is embarrassed about telling other parents that DC wants to go to elite colleges but "end up" being a teacher. I'm trying hard to change my mindset, but it's not easy.

[Anonymous]

This post is common here because everyone’s kid has straight As and is an amazing athlete. Everyone is gifted and in the 99% of everything.

I’ll say it even though I shouldn’t have to. Teachers are the best. I still remember some of mine and the early ones of my children.

I remember my son’s first grade teacher. She told me about a note she got that said I Love You and it wasn’t signed but she knew his writing. He had her for second grade too. To know your child goes to school everyday and sees someone he loves is a good feeling.

I’m sure we all have a lot of stories about our teachers, I’m only going to remember the good ones.

[Anonymous]

Being a teacher is really hard. Being a great teacher is even harder - I would be so deeply proud to call my DC a teacher. And I hope for them that they love what they do and have a balanced life. And I’m a type A lawyer striver that doesn’t necessarily want my kids to turn out that way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. One of the problems is that DC goes to a pricey private school with amazing facilities. The teachers are great for the most part and engage with every student. DC is inspired by them and wants to be like them. The problem really is me. I'm the type-A striver parent who is embarrassed about telling other parents that DC wants to go to elite colleges but "end up" being a teacher. I'm trying hard to change my mindset, but it's not easy.

I have to respond again. First, being a Type-A striver is embarrassing enough, I’m sure the other parents already know how you are. Second, maybe your daughter found something out about herself that makes her want this. Or maybe she’ll change her mind. Third, you didn’t mention anything that your child excels in or makes her stand out in anyway so what do you think she is missing out on? If it’s money transfer money to her each year to supplement her income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. One of the problems is that DC goes to a pricey private school with amazing facilities. The teachers are great for the most part and engage with every student. DC is inspired by them and wants to be like them. The problem really is me. I'm the type-A striver parent who is embarrassed about telling other parents that DC wants to go to elite colleges but "end up" being a teacher. I'm trying hard to change my mindset, but it's not easy.

I have to respond again. First, being a Type-A striver is embarrassing enough, I’m sure the other parents already know how you are. Second, maybe your daughter found something out about herself that makes her want this. Or maybe she’ll change her mind. Third, you didn’t mention anything that your child excels in or makes her stand out in anyway so what do you think she is missing out on? If it’s money transfer money to her each year to supplement her income.

Did OP say they were talking about a daughter?

[Anonymous]

Consider speech language pathology. She’d still help kids but have better ratios and financial solvency.

- a former fancy private school teacher with regrets

[Anonymous]

Intrigued that so many think that this is about a daughter. Is teaching women's work?

[Anonymous]

As a teacher, it is difficult to hear that this is how you see us. I won’t make this reply about that though.

I would not encourage my kids to go into teaching. Not because I think it is settling or selling themselves short in any way because I don’t believe those things about teachers. I wouldn’t encourage it because the pay is not enough to support them or a family if they were to be without a partner.

If any of my kids told me they wanted to be a teacher, I would be proud of them for wanting to do meaningful work that leaves the world a better place. But I’d also encourage them to find a way to do that while earning a better income.

[Anonymous]

Your DC is like me. Best grades, test scores, schools. I teach and have dealt with obnoxious attitudes like yours all my life. Your child is clearly smarter than you, has a better understanding of what it means to lead a good life. Your DC's ambition is more finely tuned than yours. Hopefully DC will learn when to take your advice and when to recognize your limitations and biases.

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP yeah u think you are terrible.

What is ambition but to be really great at something you do? Typically that can be achieved only if you love what you do, I hire people for a living and let me tell you that 100% of my top candidates are those who clearly love what they do.

That your kid is motivated to want to be in a position to provide inspiration and opportunities to gain knowledge to others is a really beautiful thing. Maybe they try it and hate it. Maybe they become an extraordinary teacher. Would you feel that they were less successful if the latter just because maybe they didn't become a lousy investment banker who hated their job?

What is ambition to you? That she is getting a great education and feeling she would want to replicate that and give back because she has enjoyed her experience in school - how can you be disappointed in a kid who is grateful?

You are the mess OP not your kid. I make $400k owning my own business. I say to my kids all the time - do what you love - if you want to be a garbage man be the best garbage man you can possibly be because you love it. I don't mean that literally but in a way, I don't totally care either because the money and the honors come only if you really love what you do, no matter how hard something is, if you don't really love it it's that much harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is a straight A student and a strong athlete in high school. SAT is above 1500, and taking challenging AP classes. Yet DC says their goal is to become a teacher and lead a stable, anxiety-free life. I am so disappointed that they're not more ambitious, given their commitment to do well in school. I'm hoping that going to college will open their eyes to other options and get them excited about alternative professional pathways. Am I a bad parent for thinking this way?

Oh man, your kid needs a reality check.