DH’s best friend’s much younger GF?

[Anonymous]

We’ve gone out with DH’s best friend and his new GF a few times now and I’m having a really hard time. She’s very young, mid-20’s to our (all of us but her) early-40s. The friend thinks she’s cute and endearing, DH has no opinion, and I feel like I’m babysitting a teenager. She can’t relate to anything I talk about, and I can’t find a sweet spot to connect with her at her level, and at this point, I just don’t wish to anymore. She’s just so young and inexperienced, but in a weird way I can’t put my finger on. I have an easier time talking to my teenager.

If you’ve ever had to socialize with someone like this, how did you find common ground?

[Anonymous]

It's your husband's friend. The burden is on him meaning, he and his friend can talk all they want. You don't have to. This is a time when you have no obligation here. If the young one wants to carry the conversation, with you, I'm sure you'll be polite. That's all that's required of you.

As with all couple relationships when the men are the ones that are friends -- this burden is not on you. It's not on you to manage the conversation. It often is, or we as women feel like it's our role to manage the interaction, but not this case. You're free!

[Anonymous]

Do you have a niece, a coworker, or a neighbor in that age range? How do you interact with them?

[Anonymous]

You're totally butthurt, lmao.

Console yourself with the thought that it probably won't last.

[Anonymous]

and it's pretty unimportant that you find the time worthwhile. Btw. DH is enjoying himself and you'll have to put in the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's your husband's friend. The burden is on him meaning, he and his friend can talk all they want. You don't have to. This is a time when you have no obligation here. If the young one wants to carry the conversation, with you, I'm sure you'll be polite. That's all that's required of you.

As with all couple relationships when the men are the ones that are friends -- this burden is not on you. It's not on you to manage the conversation. It often is, or we as women feel like it's our role to manage the interaction, but not this case. You're free!

I disagree....if we are assuming that the social outing with the two couples has been agreed to and is happening. It is rude in any social situation to not politely carry on a conversation. Just ask her questions about her own life. Listen to the stories.

Where I would agree is that OP is under no obligation to participate in these social outings in the first place. She can decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're totally butthurt, lmao.

Console yourself with the thought that it probably won't last.

no one who uses the term 'butthurt' can possibly be over 20 themselves, and certainly not in any position to point fingers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a niece, a coworker, or a neighbor in that age range? How do you interact with them?

I do, but they are each more socially mature? It’s hard to put my finger on it, but she’s like an adult who still acts like a teenager cosplaying an adult. It’s really bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a niece, a coworker, or a neighbor in that age range? How do you interact with them?

I do, but they are each more socially mature? It’s hard to put my finger on it, but she’s like an adult who still acts like a teenager cosplaying an adult. It’s really bizarre.

It doesn’t seem so much to be about her age as it is about who she is. You might have the same problem connecting w a 40-something who is immature or has no shared interests.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to stop looking at it as an age thing. You both just don't have much in common and maybe have different personalities. How would you handle that if you were the same age? By being polite and friendly. You don't have to be best friends. In our social groups, there is a wide range of ages. There are some my age, younger, and older who I just have nothing in common with and/or they just rub me the wrong way. It is still easy to be friendly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a niece, a coworker, or a neighbor in that age range? How do you interact with them?

I do, but they are each more socially mature? It’s hard to put my finger on it, but she’s like an adult who still acts like a teenager cosplaying an adult. It’s really bizarre.

It doesn’t seem so much to be about her age as it is about who she is. You might have the same problem connecting w a 40-something who is immature or has no shared interests.

You’re right, I just connected it to her age because I’ve never experienced this with someone my age or even 30-something colleagues. I guess my experience with others her age proves this.

[Anonymous]

I would just not go. And I suspect your DH does in fact have an opinion, and his opinion is that he's very happy for his friend who is getting lots of 20-something a**, and more than willing to have you put up with this to support his friend.

[Anonymous]

I would go and have something to keep busy with, like making a photo book or being in call for your job

[Anonymous]

I'm sure your DH also doesn't enjoy talking to some of your friends, family or their spouses/SO, age is just one of the factors in boring social interactions.

[Anonymous]

I think this is just that you and she don't click in any way. I would just see if your DH can just go out with his friend solo, or they can go as a threesome. Or is there another couple you can invite along- not that you want to ignore this woman, but it would give you other people to talk to during the dinner.