What is it called when someone does the same thing over and over again and doesn't learn from it?

[Anonymous]

What's it called when a grown adult makes the same mistakes over and over again and doesn't learn from it. Complains about these things yet keeps doing them. You offer advise since they ask, but they keep doing it. For example at work they use the wrong wifi over and over again, wastes a hour on the phone with tech support (their words not mine) then realizes it and does this repeatedly. Complains about damage to their car hitting the same pot hole on the same street yet keeps doing it (there are two lanes they can just use the other lane!) We were all young before and got our hand burned on the stove and learned (metaphorically) and learned. Why won't this person learn? I'm going to say "Well I give you advise you don't take it so I'm done offering any" but don't want to be rude.

[Anonymous]

It's called being a dumbass, OP.

[Anonymous]

No, it's called being human. Everyone does it.

[Anonymous]

Insanity

[Anonymous]

Insanity

[Anonymous]

Alzheimers

[Anonymous]

Insanity, according to AA.

[Anonymous]

It's advice, OP, not advise (you did it twice).

If the person is relatively young, the conclusion is probably that this person isn't the brightest bulb. If the person is of a certain age, maybe dementia is a concern.

[Anonymous]

Einsten’s definition of insanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called being a dumbass, OP.

This is what I thought too.

[Anonymous]

You can stop offering advice without being rude about it or making a declaration. If they press you, just say "I really don't know -- I trust you to make good decisions for yourself."

IME, when are in situations like yours, there is often a symbiotic dynamic going on where the person who keeps messing up has come to rely on the other person for support and guidance, and the person providing that support and guidance almost *needs* the other person to be a screw up because it justifies their increasing condescension and superiority. You might bristle at this, but you should ask yourself why you maintain a relationship with someone you think so poorly of.

So I'd disrupt that dynamic. Stop giving advice. Tell them "I'm sure you'll figure it out." Change the subject to a movie you saw recently or the weather or politics or anything that isn't you giving them life advice and them saying "I know I know, you're right" and then not taking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can stop offering advice without being rude about it or making a declaration. If they press you, just say "I really don't know -- I trust you to make good decisions for yourself."

IME, when are in situations like yours, there is often a symbiotic dynamic going on where the person who keeps messing up has come to rely on the other person for support and guidance, and the person providing that support and guidance almost *needs* the other person to be a screw up because it justifies their increasing condescension and superiority. You might bristle at this, but you should ask yourself why you maintain a relationship with someone you think so poorly of.

So I'd disrupt that dynamic. Stop giving advice. Tell them "I'm sure you'll figure it out." Change the subject to a movie you saw recently or the weather or politics or anything that isn't you giving them life advice and them saying "I know I know, you're right" and then not taking it.

Maybe they're married to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Insanity

exactly

[Anonymous]

Why is it that you haven't learned to stop offering advice? smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's it called when a grown adult makes the same mistakes over and over again and doesn't learn from it. Complains about these things yet keeps doing them. You offer advise since they ask, but they keep doing it. For example at work they use the wrong wifi over and over again, wastes a hour on the phone with tech support (their words not mine) then realizes it and does this repeatedly. Complains about damage to their car hitting the same pot hole on the same street yet keeps doing it (there are two lanes they can just use the other lane!) We were all young before and got our hand burned on the stove and learned (metaphorically) and learned. Why won't this person learn? I'm going to say "Well I give you advise you don't take it so I'm done offering any" but don't want to be rude.

A better question is why you're so riled up about it. Do you have control issues or perfectionistic tendencies? You're friend may have adhd, a memory problem, perhaps uses drugs and alcohol, or some other thing is at play. I suspect your friend just wants to vent. No need for advice, just acknowledge and change the subject.