How to get a good counselor recommendation
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| For those of you who's kids have been there done that, how did they and what did they do to score an excellent counselor recommendation? My DS is from a huge FCPS public, so the counselor probably never saw him except for the 5-10 minutes to pick his courses. |
Anonymous
| How will you know? We can't read them. |
Anonymous
| Counselors provide questionnaires to parents asking to share additional information about their children. This is your opportunity to include as many helpful details as possible, since I assume a counselor will copy-paste them into their recommendation letter. |
Anonymous
This |
Anonymous
| Literally today I spoke to my kid's counselor and she mentioned the 3 page "brag sheet" the school provides. She added that if there's something specific that is not covered by that, which the kid thinks is the most important aspect of their experience and they want it mentioned - write a draft of it that she can use in her own words. I doubt every counselor offers this, however. |
Anonymous
|
Counselor here. Please give specifics in brag sheet I can lift into letter. Proud of taking honors class X because it isn’t their top subject? Great. Did X and Y in summer program? Awesome.
In outside sports? Tell me exactly how many hours and how often, and what position they play/how good they are (I know nothing about sports). Tell me major and why/what experiences led to this. (I can look it up maybe? Not always accurate and obvious to know that kid is applying for a Y major depending on system.) If they work, I want hours, place, if it’s supporting family, duties. Same for clubs. I want details, things they’re proud of, things they overcame… things I can literally reword into my own words but that I don’t need to ask follow-up questions about (when was X? How was Y hard for you? What was inspiring about Z?) If something happened- COVID, death in family, etc- tell me when it happened and how it affected them, and the meaning of the relationship. Difficulty with class selection or academics they want me to highlight (teacher X was absent most of first semester junior year, had hoped to take Y AP but schedule conflict) The best letters are ones where I can sit down with the brag sheet, open up the transcript/current class schedule to review for rigor, and write from that. It is not hard for me to pull up teacher recs, but I often beat the teachers. I can sometimes pull up their app itself (if they have enabled Common App preview status and added me as an advisor and not just a counselor). Otherwise, all I can see is what schools they applied to- not into major. Resumes are helpful but often don’t tell me HOW a student felt about it. I find the adjectives for how a student describes themselves or how a teacher might describe them helpful to set a tone. |
Anonymous
|
This is Amazing.
Another question. How long does it take a kid to fill out a questionnaire? How long should it take the parents? |
Anonymous
As long as it takes to be good, for me to paint a picture of what the student is like. And however long your counselor’s sheet is. Many of my students are perfunctory and brief… they get a perfunctory letter. If I ask them what they’re proud of, and they say, “getting As in all my classes” that doesn’t do anything for me. If parent says, “getting As even while catching COVID and RSV every other week and needing to self-advocate and form study groups with friends,” BAM. I don’t copy/paste, but other counselors might. In general, I’m a good enough writer and fast enough typer that I prefer to put it in my own words. Answer thoughtfully, even if it seems repetetive: I ask on mine: How would you, kid, describe themselves? How would teachers describe you in three words? What about friends? What kind of student are you in the classroom? I can usually get some good answers from the rec but they aren’t my the same question. It’s impossible to know what is just going to resonate. |
Anonymous
| My oldest was at a huge school with a deadbeat counselor (no slight to the great counselors out there). Fortunately, her coach was also a counselor at the school and wrote an amazing and personal rec. 2nd kid had a good counselor but realized the importance of that relationship early and invested. Even with scheduling difficulties or other perfunctory meetings, the contact time gives them a window into the kid's interests, commitment and passion. Excellent (T20) admits for both. |
Anonymous
| Are there examples of what a counselors letter would cover online somewhere? |
Anonymous
|
In my parent brag sheet, I really emphasized my kid’s personal qualities. He has a 4.0 with highest rigor, so I figured they could see he was a good student. I talked a lot about his kindness, curiosity, commitment to community-building, maturity, leadership, caring. These are the things that distinguish him.
I have no idea what the GC used, but I gave him lots of good nuggets to copy and paste. |
Anonymous
| I know this probably seems obvious, but make sure your kid is respectful to the counselor, that they ask good questions and listen to the answers, that they don’t merely treat counselor as a means to some end. |
Anonymous
Yup. I have no faith that my daughter's counselor wrote her a "good" recommendation. She's just a solid student in a big public school. Hopefully, it was decent based on copy-paste.  (Kid did great with college acceptances, so I assume it was fine!)
|
Anonymous
| Hey, 20:53, you sound awesome. Thanks for everything you do! |
Anonymous
|
I was wondering about personal qualities.
we don't have a parent brag sheet, but I encouraged ds to put things on there that weren't academic: pulled out of X tournament so lower ranked senior could attend one last time, stood up for x kid when this one thing happened, helped younger brother navigate waters and new big HS etc etc. DS thought this was all OTT of course but I wonder if it's appropriate |