How to get hoarder sibling to empty/sell elder’s home?

[Anonymous]

Elderly parent moved out two years ago. If we don’t sell house by a certain point, it will be expensive taxwise for the elderly parent with dementia.

Hoarder sibling has filled several of their own houses and a storage unit with junk and is in no hurry to empty the stuff they want (most everything) from the house.

While I can stand firm and say I will call the junk haulers by a certain date, I will definitely be screamed at and hoarder sibling will tell their family I’m a horrible person.

Any advice for getting this house cleared out and sold?

One idea I had is to rent a storage unit and pay to have all the crud the hoarder wants moved to that location.

I can’t make them hire a moving company.

I am pretty sure they lie when they say the take trash from our clearing out process and throw it away at home. Hoarder has fought me over a trash bag filled with trash.


I DO NOT want to end up as a co-owner on a house with the hoarder. If I do, can I make them sell the house??

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Tell them they have until 1/31 and on 2/1 when they haven't done it, call the junk haulers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Tell them they have until 1/31 and on 2/1 when they haven't done it, call the junk haulers.

+1

Let them scream at you and think you’re a horrible person. It sucks but it’ll be okay. And your sibling will get over it. My mom is a hoarder and after a zillion warnings the city condemned and leveled her house. They hauled everything off in a bulldozer. She was obviously distraught but she’s okay now.

[Anonymous]

As a daughter of a hoarder I can tell you that your relative will never ever empty the house.
In fact, he is making it more hoarded as we speak.
Make of it what you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Tell them they have until 1/31 and on 2/1 when they haven't done it, call the junk haulers.

Agree. Just set a date and then follow through.

If it really is bad (attracting rodents, health hazard, etc.), you can ask the local board of health to look at it and give an assessment. If the assessment is bad, then it can become another reason to clear it out.

[Anonymous]

Okay.

Do I tell the hoarder the date for the junk haulers? If not, they will call me multiple times a day to scream at me.

And do I care at all if sibling tracks down the junk haulers to get the stuff back? They might try that.

[Anonymous]

If you get it carted away to storage who is going to pay for the storage unit?

Can you rent a pod that they deliver and tell sibling either to fill it or it’s all going in the dumpster.

[Anonymous]

Try to keep the hoarder away for the day if the haul and then block their number.
Also how do you make sure she doesn’t have access to the house to resume hoarding?

[Anonymous]

I’d rent the pod, pay for a month and have it delivered for the horder. Then you aren’t throwing everything away and they can deal with it/not deal with it. I assume if you don’t pay the pod people will come and take their pod back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay.

Do I tell the hoarder the date for the junk haulers? If not, they will call me multiple times a day to scream at me.

And do I care at all if sibling tracks down the junk haulers to get the stuff back? They might try that.

Sure, tell them the date, mostly so they can’t say later that you lied t them by not telling them.

Nope, don’t care at all if they get the stuff back for themselves.

The important thing is to get the house sold before there are tax consequences for your elderly parent.

[Anonymous]

With my grandparents house, my mom and non hoarding siblings told hoarder sibling that the house must be emptied by x date. Whatever is left inside will be hauled away. Hoarder found a way to get stuff out probably in fear of the junk haulers taking anything. Mom and siblings didn’t care whether hoarder sibling had to pay for storage of stuff. They nor the estate were not going to pay for any storage.

[Anonymous]

Let them scream and spread rumors to their family. You think their family doesn't know they're a hoarder? They do. Just protect your elderly relative. Block the hoarder once the date they had to get their stuff out has passed.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, why do you care what this sibling says to family about what a horrible person you are. If they did, my response would be that the sibling is a horrible person for putting an unnecessary tax burden on their elderly parent.

Make the appointment for the junk hauler today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let them scream and spread rumors to their family. You think their family doesn't know they're a hoarder? They do. Just protect your elderly relative. Block the hoarder once the date they had to get their stuff out has passed.

This.

[Anonymous]

Do you have POA for your mother? If so, you don’t need to fool around with this any longer. Set the junk haul date and let your sibling worry about where to put the stuff they want to keep in the meantime. Do not rent a storage unit or take anything into your home that is not for you and your family. Your sibling will have a fit and badmouth you to their family but you have to do this for your mother’s sake. Stay strong.