Forced Into Screens
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Anonymous
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I see a lot of comments on here about people who just don’t do screens/ video games for their kids.
I just don’t know how that is possible. I really hate screens for kids but realized by resisting I was making our DS (9) the weirdo in his class as one do the few kids he knows that doesn’t play video games. Most of his social life revolves around discussing games/ tv shows. If there are kids who don’t get screens - where are they? Even school is screens all day! We limit video games to 1-2 hours a week and do 30-45 mins a day of other tv/ videos. With the modern world I just didn’t see another choice. We do lots of other stuff ( sports, outings, reading, board games) but some times the kids want video time and now it’s here to stay. I do feel them pushing for more and more. I know it’s addictive and i hate to see their little brains getting wired towards addictive type behaviors. Part of me wants to go cold turkey and cut the screens. But I am not sure I could do that to my kids. I honestly felt like moderation was the key- but now I am not so sure. I really feel myself longing for the 1990s before cell phones and when video games weren’t so “good”. One thing my kids don’t do is “nothing”- I feel like when I was a kid I would spend a few hours every day just chilling in my room or just reading. Maybe we have our kids so much attention they can’t live without it. |
Anonymous
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My kids don't do screens so they can't talk about bluey or Minecraft or the latest RoBlox. But somehow they have friends and enjoy themselves.
When I was growing up, my friends talked about skiing or dirt-biking or other things that my parents couldn't afford. I listened and lived vicariously. Don't give into screen time just to keep up with the Jones. |
Anonymous
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Maybe it’s different with girls, but my DD is the same age and yes she’s pretty much the only one that doesn’t have a device but she has friends.
You know, if parents choose screens because it’s right for their family, I don’t judge, but doing something you don’t want to because of the other kids is gross. How will you ever teach your kids to stand up to peer pressure if you can’t do it yourself? |
Anonymous
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I’m not anti screens but they’re limited. She is not part of the “ popular girl group” but she has friends. She’s more of an in person person.
I think screens are ok as long as they are not the constant default. |
Anonymous
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We live in San Francisco, and a lot of people here do very minimal screens. My oldest has never played a video game at all. They talk about tons of stuff besides shows and video games.
Look to make friends with people who work in tech - it's well known we are low tech with our kids. |
Anonymous
Yes by middle school the girls with more open access to screens and tiktok and YouTube shorts and insta and snap or whatever are more likely to be popular and into makeup and fashion and the latest crazes than the low-screen kids. I'm okay with my kid not being part of this and they mostly are. In elementary school my kids got library books about Star wars and Pokemon and whatever was the cool screen thing at the moment. They played Minecraft and Roblox at their cousins' house but didn't get it at home. You can opt out. It may be more work on the part of the parents but it's also really nice to not have to fight about screen limits when it's just not a part of the day. I'm certain that if my kids had more access to screens they would have read a lot fewer books. Maybe they'd be "cooler" but they each found good groups of friends, one gravitating more to them bookish kids and one more sporty. |
Anonymous
Actually really easy for my family: this wouldn’t be a school we attend. |
Anonymous
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My 10 yo DD doesn’t use screens on a regular basis (outside of school). It is not part of her daily/weekly routine, she doesn’t ask for it, and she plays the Wii maybe twice a year. It’s a complete non-issue for her social life.
14 yo DS has a phone now and does use that and he watches some TV, but seldom plays video games and none of the online or current/popular games. He doesn’t watch YouTube or have social media. Again, he has friends and it has not hampered his social life. So yes, there is another way. |
Anonymous
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Op I could have written your post. (Did I????)
I’m against screens. But I get it, and I’m not against them. Then I become against them when I see how addicted my kids get. I want to take it all away. I imagine buying them any toy or activity they want, if they would go screen free. Fill their lives with anything but. And I see that they love a variety of stuff including nature docs, shows, games where they bond together and with cousins. I also see my 6yo playing scary stuff. Pushing boundaries the second I don’t watch. And then he’s scared of monsters in his own house. Ugh. I’m all over the place with it. I don’t believe the number of people here who claim to be on screens so little. I think my kids are average to better on screen time, and they still get a lot. |
Anonymous
+1 we send our kids to a classical school- the culture of which is low tech. My middle schooler doesn’t have a phone- and neither do her friends. My lower elementary child doesn’t play video games. They watch shows/movies, but screens don’t dominate their lives. I can understand wanting to allow my children to have screens for social reasons, but there are communities of like-minded people who are raising their children differently!! And there should be more of them!!! |
Anonymous
| You aren't forced into it but you are on screens, so why can't they have a few hours on weekends. |
Anonymous
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My 3 kids 10, 8, 5 watch movies and shows on weekends (maybe a couple of hours a day if we are home in between activities). Sometimes we watch a movie together.
We have never owned a video game. My eldest asked for Roblox at some point in second grade I think. I said no a couple of times and that was the end of it. All 3 kids have friends. My middle child has never asked for video games so far. My youngest is the only boy so that may be different. I hear a lot of boys in my girls’ classes playing video games. I worry about him in this regard. We went to a birthday party at a bowling alley and there were a bunch of video games. My son (and all the other boys) went crazy when they saw them (played one game). It was hard to get them away. On top of that, they were very violent games (shooting monsters, etc.). I don’t know what we will do with him. I definitely don’t want to be the only boy in his class not playing video games. I hope that won’t happen! |
Anonymous
| Nobody plays sports they just do video games? That is why Americans are such 🐷 |
Anonymous
| We dont do video games or devices like switch. I had video game addiction in college. My kids (DDs) get screen time and they watch cooking shows and bluey etc. but its limited and they both choose to read and play with things as well. They have friends and haven't complained about being left out of video game conversations yet. K and 2nd grades. |
Anonymous
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A little screen time is fine. See a little of each (but watch all of Bluey, it's short and great) so they are in the loop socially. A few hours of playing games and watching videogame streams is better than hundreds of hours playing, but is enough to be a part of the conversation.
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