Husband moved out

[Anonymous]

Husband moved out. He said I could have full legal and physical custody of the kids. He is a brilliant professional with awful substance abuse issues. He’s not interested in being a parent right now. We have 3 small children. I’ve been a SAHM their entire lives. I’m very worried about custody and finances. Prior to a divorce, how can I protect myself and the kids? I’m in Maryland.

[Anonymous]

Finances are the problem, OP, if he loses his job because of his addiction issues. I hope he understands that he still needs to support all of you? Because even if you get a job, that means he has to pay for daycare?

Obviously you'll have to find work at some point, but for the moment, I hope he can be reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Get a good lawyer. That is how you protect yourself right now.

Longer term, figure out how to support yourself and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Get a good lawyer stat.

Do you have any money? Family support?

[Anonymous]

See a lawyer right away. And start looking for work immediately. In theory he should support you and the kids. But if he doesn’t, you’re a long way from a court date and you’ve got bills to pay.

I’m sorry and I hope you have a great support network.

[Anonymous]

Find a lawyer today to call tomorrow morning and ask that all assets be frozen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See a lawyer right away. And start looking for work immediately. In theory he should support you and the kids. But if he doesn’t, you’re a long way from a court date and you’ve got bills to pay.

I’m sorry and I hope you have a great support network.

This, plus addicts OD, get fired, etc. You CANNOT count on an addict to provide and the kids need to eat. Do you have family you can move in with until you are more stable?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you have enough life insurance on him should the worst happen? Awful to consider but also essential. My best to you on this incredibly difficult journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See a lawyer right away. And start looking for work immediately. In theory he should support you and the kids. But if he doesn’t, you’re a long way from a court date and you’ve got bills to pay.

I’m sorry and I hope you have a great support network.

This.

Tell your lawyer about the substance abuse issue even if you’re embarrassed— life insurance needs to be written into your agreement.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your lawyer about desertion.

[Anonymous]

You need to think about going back to work sooner rather than later. The third kid was probably a mistake.

[Anonymous]

File for child support and alimony and get a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to think about going back to work sooner rather than later. The third kid was probably a mistake.

what an awful thing to say

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:File for child support and alimony and get a job.

Can I set up protective orders? Or do I have to wait until divorce is finalized to get child support and alimony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a good lawyer. That is how you protect yourself right now.

Longer term, figure out how to support yourself and your kids.

Lawyer up

Freeze all assets Monday and they divide in half.

Get temp custody to say exactly what he did: you at 100% custody indefinitely.

Find a mediator.

Backsign any mandatory separation period.

Have your parents or sister or friends stop by a lot. For support