How do you split up dining costs with siblings and their families?

[Anonymous]

If adult children and their families plan to host elderly parents for dinner at restaurant and restaurant charges per head, how do you handle the cost of dinner?
Does it make sense for adult children to split costs of dinner for the parents and then cover the cost of themselves and their own families?
Or split the bill evenly amongst the adult children?
Cost may be $80 per head, like a wedding banquet type of dinner.
I’m a single parent with one child, 3 siblings have spouses and their family sizes are 4-6. Mostly teenagers, young adult children or recently out of college. I’m not struggling but since I’m the only breadwinner, I am careful about my spending.

Around 20 people total, $1600 total. 4 adult children of elderly children.

Am I expected to pay $400, divided evenly by 4 adult children?
Or $160 for myself and child, plus share of parents of $40, total $200?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If adult children and their families plan to host elderly parents for dinner at restaurant and restaurant charges per head, how do you handle the cost of dinner?
Does it make sense for adult children to split costs of dinner for the parents and then cover the cost of themselves and their own families?
Or split the bill evenly amongst the adult children?
Cost may be $80 per head, like a wedding banquet type of dinner.
I’m a single parent with one child, 3 siblings have spouses and their family sizes are 4-6. Mostly teenagers, young adult children or recently out of college. I’m not struggling but since I’m the only breadwinner, I am careful about my spending.

Around 20 people total, $1600 total. 4 adult children of elderly children.

Am I expected to pay $400, divided evenly by 4 adult children?
Or $160 for myself and child, plus share of parents of $40, total $200?

Whoops, meant to say 4 adult children of elderly parents

[Anonymous]

I would say here’s $200.

[Anonymous]

Divide the total bill by the # of people paying and each family pays proportional to their size

[Anonymous]

If I were one of your siblings I’d want you to pay $200.

[Anonymous]

We’d just cover you. We aren’t nickel and diming a single parent.

[Anonymous]

Just have one person pay and everyone chip in their respective amounts. Otherwise this is way too complicated given the disparate family sizes.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your siblings in advance and work it out. If they push back on per head then just split 4 ways and move on. It seems like this is a special event and not worth fighting over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your siblings in advance and work it out. If they push back on per head then just split 4 ways and move on. It seems like this is a special event and not worth fighting over.

But OP unit is 2.5 [1/4 of parents], and others 4.5+5.5+5.5 =18. That puts OP at $240 pre tax and gratuity. If there are more elderly guests like sibs of parents assume they are added to the 4 way split Is this fixed price with a choice of 1-3 entrees or can people order extras? Bar bills? Bottles of wine?

So for people on tight budgets you really can't just split when a couple of other people's young adults go for the expresso martinis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If adult children and their families plan to host elderly parents for dinner at restaurant and restaurant charges per head, how do you handle the cost of dinner?
Does it make sense for adult children to split costs of dinner for the parents and then cover the cost of themselves and their own families?
Or split the bill evenly amongst the adult children?
Cost may be $80 per head, like a wedding banquet type of dinner.
I’m a single parent with one child, 3 siblings have spouses and their family sizes are 4-6. Mostly teenagers, young adult children or recently out of college. I’m not struggling but since I’m the only breadwinner, I am careful about my spending.

Around 20 people total, $1600 total. 4 adult children of elderly children.

Am I expected to pay $400, divided evenly by 4 adult children?
Or $160 for myself and child, plus share of parents of $40, total $200?

Separate checks. All restaurants do them. You each pay fir your own families then divide parents bill by number of their adult kids.

[Anonymous]

Everyone pays, per head, for their own families, then splits the parents 4 ways. Question is how much drinking or extras will be consumed? The heavy hitters should cover their own $$ habits.

[Anonymous]

I'd pay per person, not per family unit. As the only one of my siblings with kids, wow my siblings would LOSE IT if they had to subsidize us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your siblings in advance and work it out. If they push back on per head then just split 4 ways and move on. It seems like this is a special event and not worth fighting over.

But OP unit is 2.5 [1/4 of parents], and others 4.5+5.5+5.5 =18. That puts OP at $240 pre tax and gratuity. If there are more elderly guests like sibs of parents assume they are added to the 4 way split Is this fixed price with a choice of 1-3 entrees or can people order extras? Bar bills? Bottles of wine?

So for people on tight budgets you really can't just split when a couple of other people's young adults go for the expresso martinis.

This is the OP. It’s a fixed menu, eg “Dinner for 10” for 2 tables, shared family style. Could order alcohol or extra entrees but that’s not likely.

[Anonymous]

I don’t pay for my parents. We typically pay for our family. In your case since you want to pay, just do $80x2 and then 1/3 of your parents since they have 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

How about OP pays entire elderly parent part and others figure out their families. Just making the math easier for everyone. Then you won’t have to deal with quarters on top of the families shares.