I think therapy is unhelpful

[Anonymous]

When you go to a therapist, you tell them your woes but from an extremely biased, first person perspective. The therapist recieves the information from a biased narrator with no perspective or insight into other people the patient may reference.

How would a therapist guide you if she/he spends the entire session validating your perspective?

There are so many people who dig deeper into their dysfunction or selfishness because they’re now being validated by certified therapists.

[Anonymous]

You have a very limited idea of therapy. Which is a shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you go to a therapist, you tell them your woes but from an extremely biased, first person perspective. The therapist recieves the information from a biased narrator with no perspective or insight into other people the patient may reference.

How would a therapist guide you if she/he spends the entire session validating your perspective?

There are so many people who dig deeper into their dysfunction or selfishness because they’re now being validated by certified therapists.

That is a very lazy therapist.

Therapy is not necessarily about validation.

There are different modes and techniques.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like someone whos never even been to therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you go to a therapist, you tell them your woes but from an extremely biased, first person perspective. The therapist recieves the information from a biased narrator with no perspective or insight into other people the patient may reference.

How would a therapist guide you if she/he spends the entire session validating your perspective?

There are so many people who dig deeper into their dysfunction or selfishness because they’re now being validated by certified therapists.

Your loved one may be talking about sone experiences they had with you. It will be from their perspective because that is who experienced it. They may say "op yelled at me when I was 4 and it scared me" for example. A good therapist will ask open ended questions, as well as look for specific details to help your loved one reframe their experiences and soothe bad feelings. Op, just support your loved one and stop being defensive. It isn't all about you.

[Anonymous]

Therapy was a waste for me because I struggled to.open up. I did a lot of self work in order to fix myself.

Therapy pretty much saved my relationship with my mother. I was on the verge of cutting her out of my life. But she got help for her anxiety and control issues and is so much better. Therapy didn't validate her, it pushed her to figure out why she acted like she did and then figure out ways to change that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you go to a therapist, you tell them your woes but from an extremely biased, first person perspective. The therapist recieves the information from a biased narrator with no perspective or insight into other people the patient may reference.

How would a therapist guide you if she/he spends the entire session validating your perspective?

There are so many people who dig deeper into their dysfunction or selfishness because they’re now being validated by certified therapists.

That is a very lazy therapist.

Therapy is not necessarily about validation.

There are different modes and techniques.

That is a fictional therapist op designed to ease feelings of guilt and defensiveness, not an actual therapist's words or methods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you go to a therapist, you tell them your woes but from an extremely biased, first person perspective. The therapist recieves the information from a biased narrator with no perspective or insight into other people the patient may reference.

How would a therapist guide you if she/he spends the entire session validating your perspective?

There are so many people who dig deeper into their dysfunction or selfishness because they’re now being validated by certified therapists.

I am a CB therapist and challenging the patient's perspective is key to the therapeutic process.

that said, there is some truth to what you are saying in that some therapists (to say nothing of various couches etc) will, wittingly or unwittingly, reinforce the patient's perspective, becoming basically their friend/confidant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you go to a therapist, you tell them your woes but from an extremely biased, first person perspective. The therapist recieves the information from a biased narrator with no perspective or insight into other people the patient may reference.

How would a therapist guide you if she/he spends the entire session validating your perspective?

There are so many people who dig deeper into their dysfunction or selfishness because they’re now being validated by certified therapists.

I am a CB therapist and challenging the patient's perspective is key to the therapeutic process.

that said, there is some truth to what you are saying in that some therapists (to say nothing of various couches etc) will, wittingly or unwittingly, reinforce the patient's perspective, becoming basically their friend/confidant.

+1 Op, you are correct.

[Anonymous]

I’ve done a ton of therapy. There are different types. A good CBT or ACT therapist will always be trying to get the client to examine any strongly expressed beliefs/thoughts/perspectives for their truth & helpfulness. A good interpersonal therapist will develop enough of a sense of a person that they can help them identify patterns.

[Anonymous]

When we were having issues with my borderline mother, she called our bluff and asked us to come to one of her therapy sessions. When we agreed, she promptly rescinded the offer. I wonder what perspective she didn’t want us to tell her therapist? Hmm…

[Anonymous]

Most therapy is unhelpful, OP. But I'm sure there are very intelligent and competent therapists who do manage to truly help some of their patients. I just haven't met any.

[Anonymous]

Very often it's unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

Agree OP.

[Anonymous]

It is 100% dependent on the quality of the therapist and sadly, there are a lot of bad therapists. Especially the younger ones who were in school in the “everything unpleasant is trauma” era.

Great therapists change lives though.