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What qualities should a potential marriage partner exhibit to demonstrate readyness for fatherhood?
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| Pretty similar to the qualities a woman would need to possess to be a good mother. |
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You don't. But, you can try and guess based on the type of personality he has.
1. Is he calm. 2. Does he think things through or does it react too quick. 3. Is he good around other kids. 4. Is he patient. 5. Is he smart in terms of knowing how to problem solve. 6. Is he responsible financially. 7. Does he have good interests and hobbies. |
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For personal characteristics, is he self-motivated, or does he need to be told what to do? Does he feel a sense of responsibility for his environment (fitness, cleanliness, upkeeep, etc), or does he just exist and things happen around him? Is he a good roommate? Does he take care of himself? Do his friends call him when they need help (moving, talking through problems, etc) or just for fun?
But the real answer, even though it's not fair, is to look at his dad. A lot of guys don't have a good model for how to be a husband and father, and that's not their fault, but without that model and expectation, they're probably going to default to doing the least labor-intensive option. That leaves all the labor he's shirking on your plate. |
| What are his parents like and what's his relationship with his parents like? |
| Is he willing to learn? |
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He has a lot of patience. When he talked about being a dad it wasn't "my son and I will play baseball" but "It'll be so much fun to watch them grow and love them with you." His vision was a family. He isn't quick to anger. He's not lazy or messy. He'd talk to me about random things on child-raising, like religion, books, travel, discipline, friends, school, etc.
He was clearly thinking about how to be a good parent and how to raise a good person to put out into society. He was ready way before I was. |
| I watched him with his family, nieces and nephews and that was a good clue. On our wedding day I heard that early in the morning he was watching cartoons in bed with the little ones. His comfort level with kids was very special. |
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Patience. Kindness. Sense of responsibility. Expressed interest in fatherhood.
Financial stability as well unless you yourself are capable of being a good provider. |
This. The cycle tends to repeat. |
| *also basic morals and ethics |
| Someone from a stable family with good parental models is more likely to have basic education and mentors. |
| Someone who isn't selfish, lazy, mean or irresponsible. |
| Look at his parents relationship and their relationship with their children. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My husband came from a family with seven kids and they all had a wonderful relationship. There are no guarantees but that was a very good sign. |
| Do they have a pet? Look at how they treat the pet. |