Act like a Man

[Anonymous]

So I am down at my in laws and my never do well gay brother in law starts crying at the dinner table about his new foreclosure.

My two teenagers are watching this scene and it really gets under my skin. Suddenly, I take cinematic inspiration from the godfather scene when Don Corleone slaps the singer Fontaine.

I tell my brother in law to act like a man and get a hold of himself. I didn’t use any homophobic slurs at all.

Nonetheless my wife and all the women in the family have circled the wagons against me that I mistreated the brother in law terribly and they think I am some kind of bad influence. It doesn’t matter what the brother in law is constantly screwing up and begging for bail outs.

Thinking of taking the kids and wife if she wants to come and heading home early.

[Anonymous]

I cannot stand whiners and secretly applaud you.

That said, yes- many family members will think this is mean, and there will be blowback. Especially with an in-law it is best to just keep your mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

What does your brother-in-law being gay have to do with this?

[Anonymous]

That was one stupid fking thing to say. Yeah, take the kids and go home. What a moron.

[Anonymous]

It’s a douchey thing to say. “Man up”- people are allowed their feelings and they express their feelings in different ways. It’s okay do you BIL was crying. He was with his family, that should be a safe place. If this isn’t a troll you are TA. And if you’re not “man enough” to apologize for being a douche then you should go home, alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your brother-in-law being gay have to do with this?

The implication is that a real man wouldn’t cry at the dinner table.

[Anonymous]

Was this a one-off or does he often do things like this to turn a family event about him?
If it was a one-off you’re a jerk.
If he does type of thing often your remark is understandable (but still mean).
Either way you’ve made him more of a victim and yes if I were you I’d leave.

[Anonymous]

With all things dealing with ILs, including BILs, I let my DH handle everything, especially if you are criticizing anything.

I don’t think it’s your place to say anything to BIL so you were out of line. Not because of gay/manliness, but because you were criticizing him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your brother-in-law being gay have to do with this?

The implication is that a real man wouldn’t cry at the dinner table.

And frankly that is correct. BIL was obviously putting on a show for the family in hopes that someone would again bail him out financially. I wouldn’t want my young kids to see that either.

[Anonymous]

^. Sorry, missed that OPs kids are teenagers. Most likely they know that BIL is making a fool of himself.

OP I wouldn’t give it another thought. You are not wrong. Just stay and continue your vacation like nothing happened.

[Anonymous]

I would never say that to someone's face, but I'd sure talk to the kids about never behaving like your BIL.

[Anonymous]

So, can the house be saved or what? How much would it take? Since you so powerful, why not help him out or at least teach him to fish.

[Anonymous]

You should probably work on sitting with your uncomfortable feelings rather than expecting other people modify their emotions to suit yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should probably work on sitting with your uncomfortable feelings rather than expecting other people modify their emotions to suit yours.

Couldn’t the same be said for the grown azz man openly sobbing at the holiday dinner table over a situation he created for himself? He sounds like a manipulative narcissist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I am down at my in laws and my never do well gay brother in law starts crying at the dinner table about his new foreclosure.

My two teenagers are watching this scene and it really gets under my skin. Suddenly, I take cinematic inspiration from the godfather scene when Don Corleone slaps the singer Fontaine.

I tell my brother in law to act like a man and get a hold of himself. I didn’t use any homophobic slurs at all.

Nonetheless my wife and all the women in the family have circled the wagons against me that I mistreated the brother in law terribly and they think I am some kind of bad influence. It doesn’t matter what the brother in law is constantly screwing up and begging for bail outs.

Thinking of taking the kids and wife if she wants to come and heading home early.

Now you need to “act like a man” and apologize in person to him. You should also see if he needs money to keep his house. So get on your horse and man up. Stop acting like a little b**ch.