Why does it feel like doctors help "some" but not "others"

[Anonymous]

I absolutely f&cking hate my RE team. They took me on as a recurrent pregnancy loss patient and promised they could help. Well they didn’t. I still lost a late first trimester baby. Then they threw up their hands and said nothing we can do. We can get you more embryos, though. (For me to continue to miscarry?! WTF!!)

I feel like every other person I know at the clinic doesn't get the same bs push back I do. Ultimately I found care and diagnosis with a different specialist but I'm still just so angry with how I was treated.

[Anonymous]

Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

[Anonymous]

totally understand why you're upset about repeated loss and lack of clear solution.

what solutions were you hoping they'd have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

[Anonymous]

Didn't you read what you signed? I feel that this is on you. For this, and every sales tactic. In the end, the contract usually doesn't lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

Oh no, I'm a scientist in the medical field. I was very clear what the issues were and they said yes we can help. After the most recent loss they kept saying, yes, but we can get more embryos and very evasive when I pushed that that's not the issue. When I asked about specific, common treatments, they said it's clinic policy to not prescribe anything like that ever that I would need to seek treatment elsewhere. Why not say that on day 1?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you read what you signed? I feel that this is on you. For this, and every sales tactic. In the end, the contract usually doesn't lie.

Their contract has literally nothing in it. It just says you are paying X for Y.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

Oh no, I'm a scientist in the medical field. I was very clear what the issues were and they said yes we can help. After the most recent loss they kept saying, yes, but we can get more embryos and very evasive when I pushed that that's not the issue. When I asked about specific, common treatments, they said it's clinic policy to not prescribe anything like that ever that I would need to seek treatment elsewhere. Why not say that on day 1?

PP you replied to. I am also a research scientist in a medical field. Hello, colleague! I'm sorry you experienced that, but honestly I would have pushed back from the get-go, since I understand they did not offer you the treatment you were asking. What was it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you read what you signed? I feel that this is on you. For this, and every sales tactic. In the end, the contract usually doesn't lie.

I agree. I don't think OP actually understands the situation (could even be insurance related) and has come here to b@itch and crowdsource instead of dealing proactively with the problem. I do not find health givers to discriminate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

Oh no, I'm a scientist in the medical field. I was very clear what the issues were and they said yes we can help. After the most recent loss they kept saying, yes, but we can get more embryos and very evasive when I pushed that that's not the issue. When I asked about specific, common treatments, they said it's clinic policy to not prescribe anything like that ever that I would need to seek treatment elsewhere. Why not say that on day 1?

PP you replied to. I am also a research scientist in a medical field. Hello, colleague! I'm sorry you experienced that, but honestly I would have pushed back from the get-go, since I understand they did not offer you the treatment you were asking. What was it?

Lovonox. It took me seeing a different doctor who ran the tests that found the blood clotting disorder.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Would another practice have treated you differently at the stage you were when you went to the first practice? Because now you've received treatment elsewhere... knowing what you know, and having already had adverse outcomes. Maybe the second practice would not have started you on whatever treatment you wanted immediately, and you'd have had the same experience.

[Anonymous]

People think REs are miracle workers, and they certainly advertise themselves as such, but the reality is that they can only help a limited subset of their patients. If your issue is something like irregular/non-ovulation, male factor infertility, or mild DOR, IVF is the answer and you'll likely get good results. If your issue is RPL, endometriosis, or significant DOR (and you're unwilling to go with a donor), most REs have little to offer you. They'll certainly take your money and put you though multiple rounds of IVF, though.

And remember, these clinics absolutely game their statistics. Remember that a significant number of their patients aren't infertile at all and they count towards the clinics statistics. Every same-sex couple, single mom by choice, and couple who is only doing IVF to screen for genetic illness is part of the statistical pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you read what you signed? I feel that this is on you. For this, and every sales tactic. In the end, the contract usually doesn't lie.

I agree. I don't think OP actually understands the situation (could even be insurance related) and has come here to b@itch and crowdsource instead of dealing proactively with the problem. I do not find health givers to discriminate

I don't have insurance coverage of IVF, this isn't insurance related. It's definitely a doctor problem.

[Anonymous]

Was this Columbia Fertility? I got that treatment after a failed IUI. It was very causal like “we’ll just do IVF now” but I told them it wasn’t an option and then they said would do an injectable IUI cycle for me. I hounded them for weeks for the pre authorization to be done and when they finally did it, it was for IVF. At my next visit I asked the doctor about it and he was super rude.