Why does it feel like doctors help "some" but not "others"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People think REs are miracle workers, and they certainly advertise themselves as such, but the reality is that they can only help a limited subset of their patients. If your issue is something like irregular/non-ovulation, male factor infertility, or mild DOR, IVF is the answer and you'll likely get good results. If your issue is RPL, endometriosis, or significant DOR (and you're unwilling to go with a donor), most REs have little to offer you. They'll certainly take your money and put you though multiple rounds of IVF, though.

And remember, these clinics absolutely game their statistics. Remember that a significant number of their patients aren't infertile at all and they count towards the clinics statistics. Every same-sex couple, single mom by choice, and couple who is only doing IVF to screen for genetic illness is part of the statistical pool.

This exactly. I felt like I was being scammed. It's one thing to say to me, hey, I'll be honest the tools we have and are willing to use won't stop the kind of losses you are experiencing. But you can spend your money and see if it might.

Vs - oh yeah we can definitely help. You aren't having any issues getting pregnant, but we can definitely get you pregnant (for you to lose the pregnancy like all the other free ones you've had).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

Oh no, I'm a scientist in the medical field. I was very clear what the issues were and they said yes we can help. After the most recent loss they kept saying, yes, but we can get more embryos and very evasive when I pushed that that's not the issue. When I asked about specific, common treatments, they said it's clinic policy to not prescribe anything like that ever that I would need to seek treatment elsewhere. Why not say that on day 1?

PP you replied to. I am also a research scientist in a medical field. Hello, colleague! I'm sorry you experienced that, but honestly I would have pushed back from the get-go, since I understand they did not offer you the treatment you were asking. What was it?

Lovonox. It took me seeing a different doctor who ran the tests that found the blood clotting disorder.

OK. This is unfortunately how medicine works, I'm very sorry. Not all doctors can find out what's wrong, and I totally understand it's infuriating as patients! So many people are misdiagnosed, or cannot find a diagnosis and treatment until they come across a doctor who thinks of the right tests.

I'm the PP you replied to. My husband is a doctor. He's constantly telling friends and relatives to get second and third opinions, sometimes in different specialties, to ensure that nothing is getting missed. Our daughter likely has an auto-immune disease, and she's lucky to have a great gastro, who referred us to a second, more specialized gastro, a cardiologist and a rheumatologist. Finally I think we're on the right track with the rheumatologist! But it took having a doctor father who asked all the right questions and suggested various tests, plus landing with some good doctors in other specialties, to get where we are in such little time (less than a year). Others are not so lucky.

Best of luck going forward, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

Oh no, I'm a scientist in the medical field. I was very clear what the issues were and they said yes we can help. After the most recent loss they kept saying, yes, but we can get more embryos and very evasive when I pushed that that's not the issue. When I asked about specific, common treatments, they said it's clinic policy to not prescribe anything like that ever that I would need to seek treatment elsewhere. Why not say that on day 1?

PP you replied to. I am also a research scientist in a medical field. Hello, colleague! I'm sorry you experienced that, but honestly I would have pushed back from the get-go, since I understand they did not offer you the treatment you were asking. What was it?

Lovonox. It took me seeing a different doctor who ran the tests that found the blood clotting disorder.

OK. This is unfortunately how medicine works, I'm very sorry. Not all doctors can find out what's wrong, and I totally understand it's infuriating as patients! So many people are misdiagnosed, or cannot find a diagnosis and treatment until they come across a doctor who thinks of the right tests.

I'm the PP you replied to. My husband is a doctor. He's constantly telling friends and relatives to get second and third opinions, sometimes in different specialties, to ensure that nothing is getting missed. Our daughter likely has an auto-immune disease, and she's lucky to have a great gastro, who referred us to a second, more specialized gastro, a cardiologist and a rheumatologist. Finally I think we're on the right track with the rheumatologist! But it took having a doctor father who asked all the right questions and suggested various tests, plus landing with some good doctors in other specialties, to get where we are in such little time (less than a year). Others are not so lucky.

Best of luck going forward, OP.

It took 7 consults (7!!) But my problem is that the symptom was pretty clear - sudden losses, sudden heartbeats stopping. The first meeting with the specialist that finally found the clotting disorder immediately said it's a blood clotting disorder. The original clinic was perfectly happy to continue to allow be to have these losses and would not help me get answers and would not prescribe lovonox.

[Anonymous]

Very frustrating OP. Definitely feel your same frustrations with RE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

This. OP, you weren't realistic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

Oh no, I'm a scientist in the medical field. I was very clear what the issues were and they said yes we can help. After the most recent loss they kept saying, yes, but we can get more embryos and very evasive when I pushed that that's not the issue. When I asked about specific, common treatments, they said it's clinic policy to not prescribe anything like that ever that I would need to seek treatment elsewhere. Why not say that on day 1?

PP you replied to. I am also a research scientist in a medical field. Hello, colleague! I'm sorry you experienced that, but honestly I would have pushed back from the get-go, since I understand they did not offer you the treatment you were asking. What was it?

Lovonox. It took me seeing a different doctor who ran the tests that found the blood clotting disorder.

OK. This is unfortunately how medicine works, I'm very sorry. Not all doctors can find out what's wrong, and I totally understand it's infuriating as patients! So many people are misdiagnosed, or cannot find a diagnosis and treatment until they come across a doctor who thinks of the right tests.

I'm the PP you replied to. My husband is a doctor. He's constantly telling friends and relatives to get second and third opinions, sometimes in different specialties, to ensure that nothing is getting missed. Our daughter likely has an auto-immune disease, and she's lucky to have a great gastro, who referred us to a second, more specialized gastro, a cardiologist and a rheumatologist. Finally I think we're on the right track with the rheumatologist! But it took having a doctor father who asked all the right questions and suggested various tests, plus landing with some good doctors in other specialties, to get where we are in such little time (less than a year). Others are not so lucky.

Best of luck going forward, OP.

It took 7 consults (7!!) But my problem is that the symptom was pretty clear - sudden losses, sudden heartbeats stopping. The first meeting with the specialist that finally found the clotting disorder immediately said it's a blood clotting disorder. The original clinic was perfectly happy to continue to allow be to have these losses and would not help me get answers and would not prescribe lovonox.

Op, I have this same exact situation. I’m thankful I got out of the IVF factory and sought a second opinion with a doctor who diagnosed my clotting issue and am finally pregnant (naturally) on Lovenox and have hope for the first time in a while. It’s really maddening how much we have to advocate for ourselves during such a vulnerable time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you understand that as individuals, we all have different underlying problems, and that most pregnancy issues are hard to diagnose and treat? If you're low progesterone, you can be supplemented. If you have difficulty ovulating, you can be stimulated. You can have donor sperm, or donor eggs. But carrying a child for 9 months is an incredibly complex endeavor, and most of it, we don't control!

By all means, go elsewhere. Best wishes for you, OP. I hope you get your baby.

That's the point of my post. They are willing to help other people and just told me, nope, can't help you. They didn't recommend any testing, were unwilling to prescribe common treatments for rpl.

Why WF take me on as a patient and say you can help when you then aren't willing to do anything beyond the normal, average IVF? Tell me that from day 1 so I can pick a different clinic.

It's not like I get a refund for the dishonesty.

No, that wasn't my point at all, OP. My point is that they were probably upfront about what they could do, and you misinterpreted and thought they could perhaps figure everything out.

Oh no, I'm a scientist in the medical field. I was very clear what the issues were and they said yes we can help. After the most recent loss they kept saying, yes, but we can get more embryos and very evasive when I pushed that that's not the issue. When I asked about specific, common treatments, they said it's clinic policy to not prescribe anything like that ever that I would need to seek treatment elsewhere. Why not say that on day 1?

PP you replied to. I am also a research scientist in a medical field. Hello, colleague! I'm sorry you experienced that, but honestly I would have pushed back from the get-go, since I understand they did not offer you the treatment you were asking. What was it?

Lovonox. It took me seeing a different doctor who ran the tests that found the blood clotting disorder.

OK. This is unfortunately how medicine works, I'm very sorry. Not all doctors can find out what's wrong, and I totally understand it's infuriating as patients! So many people are misdiagnosed, or cannot find a diagnosis and treatment until they come across a doctor who thinks of the right tests.

I'm the PP you replied to. My husband is a doctor. He's constantly telling friends and relatives to get second and third opinions, sometimes in different specialties, to ensure that nothing is getting missed. Our daughter likely has an auto-immune disease, and she's lucky to have a great gastro, who referred us to a second, more specialized gastro, a cardiologist and a rheumatologist. Finally I think we're on the right track with the rheumatologist! But it took having a doctor father who asked all the right questions and suggested various tests, plus landing with some good doctors in other specialties, to get where we are in such little time (less than a year). Others are not so lucky.

Best of luck going forward, OP.

It took 7 consults (7!!) But my problem is that the symptom was pretty clear - sudden losses, sudden heartbeats stopping. The first meeting with the specialist that finally found the clotting disorder immediately said it's a blood clotting disorder. The original clinic was perfectly happy to continue to allow be to have these losses and would not help me get answers and would not prescribe lovonox.

Op, I have this same exact situation. I’m thankful I got out of the IVF factory and sought a second opinion with a doctor who diagnosed my clotting issue and am finally pregnant (naturally) on Lovenox and have hope for the first time in a while. It’s really maddening how much we have to advocate for ourselves during such a vulnerable time.

I’m happy for you. It sounds like the first place makes their money on IVF so they don’t care about losses