DH doesn’t care that I am sick

[Anonymous]

I am sick, sicker than I have been in the past 5 years, and the only thing he’s done for me is buy me a ton of coconut water to hydrate myself with. Asked him for peace and quiet and if he could please move his computer and work outside the bedroom for a few days so I could rest and sleep, and the answer was no because it was too much of a hassle to move the furniture/desktop computer. Perfunctory asking how I felt with no real care or concern. He seems mad that I’ve ruined Christmas (his family is coming in and he’s afraid they will get sick too), accused me of “doing nothing” for the past 3 days because I’ve been unable to leave the bed (today is the first day I’ve been ok enough to get on a computer and type). Did I mention I’m 35 weeks pregnant? God I am so hurt.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP.
This is a harsh lesson in "moms don't get sick days."

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I've found that modeling behavior when my husband is sick helps - maybe he just has no clue what to do for you.

[Anonymous]

Wow, your DH sounds like a jerk. No signs of this before you married him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your DH sounds like a jerk. No signs of this before you married him?

What is the point of this question? To make OP feel worse? To help her? Please explain.

[Anonymous]

What a jackass. You have permission to rip him a new one. Here’s what you can say:
“Let me clear with you: your behavior the past several days has been reprehensible. I’m 35 weeks pregnant with your child and sick as a dog. The best you can do is give me some coconut water. Your lack of care is not okay. To be clear, you’ll be taking care of your family when they’re here. I’m focused on two things: getting better and growing this baby. What questions might you have?”

[Anonymous]

Have you tried sitting him down and talking with him about this? You should not have to do this--he is clearly being an ass--but it might help improve the situation and get you some rest. Assuming nothing changes, I would just ignore his grousing about how you are not doing enough and ruining Christmas; if you indulge that thinking, you will just wind up conditioning him to act like a baby until he gets his way.

[Anonymous]

Go to a hotel? you can make one more request from the heart to ask him to move his workspace or go to the office. try telling him how much it means to you.

[Anonymous]

Ugh sorry. The only possible explanation I can have for his behavior is that this EOY can be EXTREMELY stressful and busy in some lines of work - and maybe he's just swamped and overwhelmed, without any bandwidth left to be a compassionate normal human.

But even then, he should be self aware enough not to be a complete ah.

I hope you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

If you are posting here, you are not THAT sick OP. Cut out with drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are posting here, you are not THAT sick OP. Cut out with drama.

Go away. No one likes you.

[Anonymous]

So much recycled drama on DCUM.

It’s almost as someone just lurked around for a year and then just mashes up 5 themes into 5-10 posts each day.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a guest room or another place in the house to sleep?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh sorry. The only possible explanation I can have for his behavior is that this EOY can be EXTREMELY stressful and busy in some lines of work - and maybe he's just swamped and overwhelmed, without any bandwidth left to be a compassionate normal human.

But even then, he should be self aware enough not to be a complete ah.

I hope you feel better soon.

LOL. Are you in 2nd grade? Bye bye... don't really want to chat with kids anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a jackass. You have permission to rip him a new one. Here’s what you can say:
“Let me clear with you: your behavior the past several days has been reprehensible. I’m 35 weeks pregnant with your child and sick as a dog. The best you can do is give me some coconut water. Your lack of care is not okay. To be clear, you’ll be taking care of your family when they’re here. I’m focused on two things: getting better and growing this baby. What questions might you have?”

This. Give him one chance to realize he's being a jack ass but if it continues....its a problem

[Anonymous]

If you can't care for yourself while sick and no children, you're in for a very rude awakening when that baby is born.