If your husband is flirty with other women

[Anonymous]

…or make slightly sexual comments here and there… does it embarrass or brother you?

[Anonymous]

DP.

Does a little jealousy give you a little spark in the bedroom?

[Anonymous]

It should bother you. He is not honoring you.

Now...I don't know if you are giving him what he needs physically...but that is something you will need to figure out.

[Anonymous]

If he's like that with most women, I would find it easier to understand than if he were like this with one in particular. How much you're willing to tolerate really depends on your dynamics - there is no right or wrong answer here, OP.

[Anonymous]

Yes. DH does this and it really bothers me. I’ve got in the habit of telling before we go out that I need him to focus on me and not talk to other women.

It is very embarrassing. I don’t associate with any from his work, because I’m too embarrassed. They hear him talk like this and it feels so disrespectful to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It should bother you. He is not honoring you.

Now...I don't know if you are giving him what he needs physically...but that is something you will need to figure out.

I guess we’re going old school here.

And no, it shouldn’t necessarily bother OP. Not everyone minds a flirty husband. It definitely spices things up.

[Anonymous]

Just this morning I was thinking of the one who got away - or rather, the one I pushed away and still wonder about.

We had an amazing sexual chemistry - both mindblown from the first time. We were both high libido and we followed it. Tons of sex, very passionate. He told me he loved me first and he was pretty clearly wild about me, and me too but I did have a niggle in the back of my mind - was he too good to be true?

One day he took me to his sister's house to visit while he went on a dental appointment. She mentioned something during the visit about his prior pattern of 'chasing every pretty face' - I noted the comment but didn't pursue it, I wasn't even sure if it was some kind of passive aggressive potential sister in law comment, some SILs make a sport of wheedling brother's wife.

But after he picked me up and we headed home, he RAVED about the dental assistant who'd cleaned his teeth, how pretty she was and how she seemed to be flirting with him. His face was aglow during those comments.

I don't recall my response in that moment, I might have said nothing but just made a face. But I do recall, even 30+ years later, how stunned and sick I felt by the incident. Although I couldn't articulate anything, I knew deep down this was a huge red flag.

For a man getting the best of everything with zero stresses in the relationship (we were in honeymoon period full blown) to be salivating over another woman and also rubbing that into the face of the woman he declared he loved? That's some serious disordered personality - some kind of narcissist who will always need the attentions of other women and you can bet when there is stress in the primary relationship, it's going to lead to infidelity.

So yeah here it is 30+ years later and I still too often tell myself I was probably wrong and missed out - but then I try to justify that kind of behavior in some kind of way that includes true love and respect and I just can't.

I expect most men will flirt a little bit given the chance, but any kind of good man doesn't do it in front of his love and he doesn't act on it, ever. What is the point of marriage or other committed relationship if the commitment is optional depending on one partner's whim?

[Anonymous]

My husband is *slightly* flirty with young, pretty women, but really that just means being a little more attentive (and speaking in a slightly higher tone of voice) than other people: I am referring to service workers, because all of our friends are middle-aged like us

It doesn't bother me, because I know I do the same thing with young, handsome service workers. We're all human. I would not be okay with my husband carrying on a flirtatious conversation, ogling, etc.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t bother me at all when my husband points out or mentions a woman being attractive. It would absolutely bother me if he flirted with someone in front of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. DH does this and it really bothers me. I’ve got in the habit of telling before we go out that I need him to focus on me and not talk to other women.

It is very embarrassing. I don’t associate with any from his work, because I’m too embarrassed. They hear him talk like this and it feels so disrespectful to me.

It is 100% disrespectful to you.

We all are human and we look. But, you don't have to be so obvious about it, especially in front of your spouse.

Totally disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

I dont mind a look or a small comment, but actually flirting with someone else would really bother me.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should bother you. He is not honoring you.

Now...I don't know if you are giving him what he needs physically...but that is something you will need to figure out.

I guess we’re going old school here.

And no, it shouldn’t necessarily bother OP. Not everyone minds a flirty husband. It definitely spices things up.

It spices things up to see your spouse want another? I guess if you want a 3 way.

[Anonymous]

A flirty husband is a cheating husband...eventually.

[Anonymous]

He'd never hear the end of it