Two working parents with baby in daycare: what do your mornings look like?

[Anonymous]

Trying to figure out what this will look like for us. Without kids, to both be able to start work on time (me WFH starting at 8/him 30 min commute leaving at 7) we need to be up by 5:30 and 6 respectively if we are going to work out (at home). Our morning routines are already quite efficient and don't account for any hiccups, of which I recognize there are many with a baby, aside from getting baby ready. Because he starts earlier, we were thinking that I would do dropoff and him pickup, but I shudder to think about how early I would have to wake up to make that work. I suppose I could start work a bit later if needed, but as it is I already work until 5 most days.

[Anonymous]

Okay, for starters, you will not both be working out at home every morning before you go to work. Where is the daycare? How long will it take you to get there?

My most recent baby is a morning person, so she is usually up by 5:30. She's 6 now, so she gets her own breakfast, but it used to be that from 5:30-7:30, it was feeding her, getting her stuff ready for daycare, feeding myself, getting myself ready for work. I took her to daycare at 7:30 and was at work by 8:30. DH generally picked her up between 4:30 and 5. I worked til 5:30 and got home around 6, which allowed me to spend 30-45 minutes with her before putting her to bed. If I worked out, it was after bedtime or during my work day.

DH's version was that he slept until 6:45, got himself ready for work, took our older child to school on his way to work, worked from 8:30-4, and then picked up both kids. If he worked out, it was after bedtime or during his work day.

How old is your baby?

[Anonymous]

Work out on your lunch hour. Eat your lunch after, while working at your desk.

[Anonymous]

Lol you are not going to workout, you will both need catch up sleep. And you probably won’t want to put your baby in daycare for the first 6-12 months. That kid will be constantly sick. Since you wfh anyway just get a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying to figure out what this will look like for us. Without kids, to both be able to start work on time (me WFH starting at 8/him 30 min commute leaving at 7) we need to be up by 5:30 and 6 respectively if we are going to work out (at home). Our morning routines are already quite efficient and don't account for any hiccups, of which I recognize there are many with a baby, aside from getting baby ready. Because he starts earlier, we were thinking that I would do dropoff and him pickup, but I shudder to think about how early I would have to wake up to make that work. I suppose I could start work a bit later if needed, but as it is I already work until 5 most days.

You get the baby you get. So some are early risers and some are late risers. To the best of your ability, dont mess with this. If you have an early riser they can get fed, changed, and ready and then put them on a play mat or swing while you work out for 20-30 minutes. Ensure that you give them at least 10-15 minutes of 1:1 time before doing this.
You will need to work as a team but its likely that one of you will get a moring workout and the other an evening workout. If you have a late riser, you both get up earlier than necessary and do 90% of the things you need to do in the morning. That may even mean that he leaves super early to get to work by 630 and then has an afternoon workout or vice versa. He gets up and workouts at 430/5 etc.
You will likely be unable to workout in the morning consistently, meaning every day both of you- especially at the same time. Your best bet is to make longer workouts on weekends and ensure your 2-3 light days/rest/yoga are during the week. This will seem counterintuitive but you week is no longer M-F its M-S and M-F will be the most difficult to manage scheduling wise.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Baby is not here yet. Daycare is a 10-15 minute drive and nanny would cost 2x as much, we can't afford that. I realize that we won't be able to work out every morning, but not at all in the mornings is surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Baby is not here yet. Daycare is a 10-15 minute drive and nanny would cost 2x as much, we can't afford that. I realize that we won't be able to work out every morning, but not at all in the mornings is surprising.

I think you need to get used to the idea that for the next couple of years, you are not likely to be able to do things like "work out in the morning" regularly. Your needs will not be what is driving your schedule.

I think you also need to understand that if you are working from 8-5, you will see your baby in the morning before daycare and then for 30-45 minutes in the evening when you get home. You will want to spend the time with your baby, who you will also likely miss a ton between 8 and 5. Your current priorities are likely to be a lot different when the baby comes.

You will have a lot of sick days with a baby in daycare, that is real. Consider that you, as the parent who already WFH, are likely to be the default parent for sick days. Are you okay with that? Talk about division of labor with your partner, not how to schedule workouts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying to figure out what this will look like for us. Without kids, to both be able to start work on time (me WFH starting at 8/him 30 min commute leaving at 7) we need to be up by 5:30 and 6 respectively if we are going to work out (at home). Our morning routines are already quite efficient and don't account for any hiccups, of which I recognize there are many with a baby, aside from getting baby ready. Because he starts earlier, we were thinking that I would do dropoff and him pickup, but I shudder to think about how early I would have to wake up to make that work. I suppose I could start work a bit later if needed, but as it is I already work until 5 most days.

So what! Everybody works until ,5 or even 6. This is life. You are not special.

[Anonymous]

Awww guys be nice, this post is kind of sweet.

I think I probably was similar to OP when we had our first and I did prioritize exercise, which works for a couple of months, until they want to be more interactive. A 1 yr old isn’t going to sit quietly while you work out. If that’s a priority, you and your husband have to find ways to give each other time for it.

[Anonymous]

I mostly work from home and try to start at 8. That means my husband drops off our toddler by 8.30. I help with breakfast, getting dressed and getting her out the door. I handle pick up which needs to happen by 5. Daycare is a 20 min walk or 7 min drive. This, sadly, means very little time for working out, which really sucks. I miss it so much. We have a peloton and it’s still hard to squeeze in a 20 min ride at lunch. ;(

[Anonymous]

Keeping a newborn on schedule is actually pretty simple, because the parent is dressing them, feeding them, and then packing them away in their stroller or car seat. It's when they get older that getting ready for daycare seems to take a million times longer, because you want to let them establish some tasks on their own, and it takes approximately 523431 hours to eat a bowl of cheerios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keeping a newborn on schedule is actually pretty simple, because the parent is dressing them, feeding them, and then packing them away in their stroller or car seat. It's when they get older that getting ready for daycare seems to take a million times longer, because you want to let them establish some tasks on their own, and it takes approximately 523431 hours to eat a bowl of cheerios.

I think it really depends on the baby. I do remember when DD was a newborn she was often up fairly early (6/6:30, sometimes earlier) and then needed to nurse for like 30 minutes. Now DD is 4yo and sleeps until 7 or 7:30 so there is more time in the morning to wake up before her and get ready (or even work out, if I were so inclined lol). Mornings are much easier when I am not trying to get ready and take care of DD at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I agree with other posters that you will need to change your perspective a bit. Those first few months/years are tough and it's mostly survival mode. things like working out tend to take a backseat unless you're willing to wake up at 4:30am (not kidding.)

If your hours are not flexible, you need to find a daycare (and possibly pay a premium) for daycares with longer hours. Even so, we found that we still wanted to spend time with our babies so just because a daycare had great hours didn't mean we wanted to max them out for things like working out

Try to divide responsibilities early on for some semblance of balance. My kids were always early risers waking between 6-6:30am every day. Our routine looks like this:
Husband wakes up at 5 or 5:30am, showers and prepares breakfast for the kids while getting ready for work.
I wake up around 6 and get myself dressed/face on (I work from home).
Husband is out the door before 7 and I feed the kids, get them dressed and out the door for daycare by 8 or 8:30
I work until 6, husband leaves his job at 5 for pick up.

If we work out, it's usually during our lunch break or on the weekends during nap time

[Anonymous]

I mean this in the kindest way, but you need to prepare for a lot less control over your schedule. Mornings with two working parents and young children are hard. You will be sleep deprived, stressed, behind at work, physically uncomfortable, anxious about what your kid needs, etc. Working out will not be your priority.

Most babies are up by 6am, and one of you will need to be hands on with them until you drop at daycare. What workes best for us was as early a drop off as possible so that we could start and end our work days early too. Babies are often in bed by 7pm so you want to be home around 5pm to have enough time to eat and do your night routine.

During your maternity leave you should be able to take walks and do 20 minute home work outs pretty reliably. But once youre on the clock back at work you'll need to get creative. Lunch time is good if you dont have too many meetings around then.

[Anonymous]

This is really sad. Please consider a nanny or at least a share.