Two working parents with baby in daycare: what do your mornings look like?
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Anonymous
OP here - thank you. I'm a planner and what I am taking away from this thread is that I can plan all I want but reality may look different, so I'll just need to see what life looks like when baby gets here and then figure out how I can fit in my own wellness wherever that may be. |
Anonymous
| OP, you might enjoy the podcast “best of both worlds” where they talk about working moms and fitting in your hobbies and priorities and they interview women who often do fit in exercise alongside big jobs and kids. |
Anonymous
I do sometimes like this podcast but their answer is usually to hire multiple nannies and sitters. |
Anonymous
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Can't anyone just answer the question, rather than shaming the OP? I have three kids, so I'm not sure how helpful my answer will be, but:
6am: I wake up and do 20-30mins strength or yoga exercise 6:30am: kids start waking up and we eat breakfast, pack lunches, etc. 7am: spouse wakes up; I get baby up and dressed and start feeding her 7:30am: spouse takes older kids to school 8am: I walk baby to daycare (30 mins, also near my work, so I consider it part of my morning exercise) 8:45 start work Important caveats: (1) My spouse does not exercise in the morning, or really much at all. If he does, it's on his lunch break. He could obviously wake up 30-60 minutes earlier to exercise. (2) I do not shower in the mornings. I do low intensity exercises and then work by myself most of the day, so can generally get away without showering. |
Anonymous
| As someone who struggled to merely shower and eat regularly with a newborn, I can only laugh and laugh at this ideal schedule. DD is 2 now and we still don't work out regularly. |
Anonymous
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Idk why everyone is being so negative and not just answering OP’s question. OP, my child is 18 months now but I’ll answer with our routine when she was ~6-12 months.
And I’ll caveat by saying I love sleep so didn’t prioritize working out but could have made the time. 6:30am - baby and I wake up (this has some variance based on when she wakes but point is I don’t wake up a second before I have to / she does) 6:30-7am - cuddles / diaper change / get clothes on for day 7am-7:30 - I feed baby breakfast and start to put together her bottles and food/snacks for daycare (everything needs to be portioned, dated, labeled, etc.) 7:15am - DH wakes up and showers / changes, comes down to help me finish up lunches and load baby into car 7:45ish - DH drives baby to daycare on his way to work, dropping off at 8am If we wanted to work out in the AM, both DH and I could manage waking earlier. |
Anonymous
There are some things you can plan that might help, though. For example, you work out at home already? Is it the kind of workout where a baby could lie in a swing or a packnplay or something while you do it? It would be a good time for you to build a fitness routine that can be done anywhere, any time, and doesn't require any equipment. I think it is a bit of a red flag if a new or expectant mom is putting a lot of emphasis on losing baby weight. Your priority should be spending time with your baby, not "getting back into shape." It sounds like you are newly pregnant, so it's not an abnormal thing to think about, but psychologically, this should not be the primary focus on any level. I sent 2 kids to daycare, fwiw, and think it's really wonderful that your daycare is so close to your home. With my first baby, daycare was near my office and took 30-60 minutes to get there. With my second, it was a block from our house, which removed the logistical hassles entirely. |
Anonymous
OP, this is a great example of some of the typical DCUM bullying tactics - assuming because you are asking about one thing, that means it is your "primary focus". And then attacking you for saying something is your primary focus, when you definitely didn't do it. Welcome! |
Anonymous
| PP who said you can't plan is absolutely right...my baby would wake up in the 5s then the 4s consistently. And my breasts hurt pretty much whenever I moved for the entire time I was bf. I could have planned workouts and schedules all I wanted. It wouldn't have made a difference. This is when someone usually chimes in to say "you should have gotten your baby on a schedule." As if I didn't read all of the books, try all of the methods, and hire a coach to try that. Anyone who thinks this is just doable for everyone has an easy baby. You may get an easy one too, but you may not. |
Anonymous
How old are your kids? A baby isn't necessarily waking up at 6:30. Might be at 6 or even earlier, could be multiple times a night, will probably keep changing every few weeks. There really is no "schedule" for infants. OP I understand you feel you are getting flamed but I think a lot of PPs feel like your priorities will change once you have kids. I had 1-2hr with mine before daycare, which included time for getting ready etc, and I would not have wanted to spend it on my own workout. I wanted to spend the time with baby. Or sleeping if DH covered the morning after a bad night! |
Anonymous
You got it op - it is hard as a planner when you are pregnant and trying to picture everything. The reality is you just can't, having a baby will be like nothing you have ever experienced before. it will shift many things for you. But take heart, the intense periods wane. For example, during the newborn period you will be resting and slowly doing gentle exercise (and will have some time for that). then you will go back to work and the first few months will be getting into a routine. Then you may have a slightly easier period where baby isn't that mobile, you only have one baby, and you start to get work outs in again more regularly (yay!), then baby will become a toddler and be much more needy and woop you may feel them drop off again. Then you will have an older preschooler and things will be easier but ah! you have a second baby!! and then it gets REAL crazy  but THEN!! You have a toddler and a 5 year old and you're totally in your groove, and you get back to working out really regularly. Not ever day. But you can do it.
This all being said, truly people are right you don't know what baby you'll get. Mine are up at 6-6:30. Some of my friends kids do really sleep until 7 - way easier to get a workout in (but also, I love my early morning sleepy, slow time with my boys so take heart if you have an early riser! It lets us not rush in the mornings which is welcome being a working mom). Also, most of your friends who had their bodies back I think you said, have great genetics. You may too! But that is the honest truth. Some women's bodies go right back with slight attention to what they are eating and light exercise. Some take more work over time. Be kind to yourself. Also, you will likely adjust your work schedule. You will probably find a way to work less and that is a hard transition too, but your world will have shifted in ways you can't imagine. It is wonderful op! Hard and wonderful. |
Anonymous
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Also do agree with the poster who said to answer the question. 14:05 here and here is what I do, but it won't make you feel great to know it took me almost 5 years to get here to have this regular of a workout schedule. Important to note my kids are now sleeping through the night which makes it plausible to wakeup early for these workouts.
Mon, wed: Go to workout class right by house at either 5:30 a or 6:30 a depending on if it is a work from home day or in office day. Husband gets up with kids anytime between 5:30-6:30 depending on when they wake up. I come home, help everyone get ready. Husband does drop off starting at 8 am and I start work. This differs if in the office but too complicated. fri - I wake up with kids, class at noon during work. I do early pickup at 4. I also try to do something Saturday morning. I wake up with the kids on Tues, Thurs, Fri and sun. Husband sleeps, he is present in the afternoons/evenings with kids so finishes some work up later in the evening and goes to bed later so needs the sleep in the evening. I gave that level of detail because it shows you all the places you push and pull. Me starting earlier to do pick up earlier, him working in the evening so he can be present before bedtime even though he does drop off. Everyone figures it out differently but it always involves a lot of this. |
Anonymous
| morning* not evening |
Anonymous
| Schedule your workouts during your workday. Work a little after your baby is in bed to make up the hours (if needed). |
Anonymous
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OP, I have two kids (2.5 and 7 months). DH and I both work full time (hybrid) and both work out 4-5 times per week. But we always do it in the evening after kids are in bed or during nap time on weekends.
Baby wakes up between 6 and 7, usually. Today it was 5:45. We switch off who gets up with the baby and who handles the toddler, who wakes up 6:45ish. I usually get up at 6 to get ready before they’re up so that I can actually enjoy the time with them instead of running around like a madwoman/multitasking. We have a nanny, not daycare. She arrived at 8:30. No drop off or pickup is definitely a perk. When she arrives, everyone is fed, dressed, ready for the day. When I work in the office, I’m out the door by 8:35 and at my desk just after 9. Our nanny gets off at 5:30 so it’s a mad dash to get home by then. I’m always emailing on the metro and usually tie up loose ends after bedtime, which is around 7. I workout for 30 or 40 minutes (weight, Peloton), usually between 8 and 9 pm. Before going to bed at around 10:30, I make sure everything is ready for the next morning. It takes discipline but also flexibility. For awhile, the baby woke up between 4:30 and 5:30 for weeks. And when they’re sick, they both wake up more often at night/earlier in the morning. You can make the workouts happen if they’re a priority, but I wouldn’t go into this thinking that you’re going to plan a new routine in advance. You have to see what your baby is like and what feels doable. |