Age and Paying for Weddings

[Anonymous]

For us older parents. I had my last kid 45.

If my kid gets married say 32 am I really expected at 77 to pay daughters wedding, throw baby showers and all that normal younger parent stuff.

I mean I will be in 80s when my kid has kids

[Anonymous]

Pay for the wedding, yes. Parents don’t host baby showers.

[Anonymous]

Resenting your kid because you had them at 45 seems like a new one to me

[Anonymous]

I had my youngest at 38. We have a ‘marriage fund’ for all DC. They can decide to use it for a wedding or a down payment on a house or something else. They know about it and it will be given at the time of their wedding or after 33 if they chose to do something else with that $. It will not be an enormous amount of $ but the cost of a reasonable wedding.

[Anonymous]

Did you not do the math on having a child at 45?? Why is that your childs fault? Seems incredibly selfish of you to bring someone into the world without fully thinking of the consequences.

I would never recommend having a child at 45 simply because of the fact you'll be retired and trying to pay for college and other things while on a fixed income.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you’re a “late bloomer” to parenthood and you’re punishing your kid for it? What an absolute gem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my youngest at 38. We have a ‘marriage fund’ for all DC. They can decide to use it for a wedding or a down payment on a house or something else. They know about it and it will be given at the time of their wedding or after 33 if they chose to do something else with that $. It will not be an enormous amount of $ but the cost of a reasonable wedding.

You must be wealthy. The vast majority of people cannot save for retirement, college AND a “marriage fund.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us older parents. I had my last kid 45.

If my kid gets married say 32 am I really expected at 77 to pay daughters wedding, throw baby showers and all that normal younger parent stuff.

I mean I will be in 80s when my kid has kids

You will get mixed responses, but based on this area, there are some rich parents/grandparents that have money to burn, so they will tell you to pay for almost anything, OP. I feel like some people in this area are rather spoiled.

My opinion is that if you want a big wedding and/or if you are old enough to get married, and/or if you have a full time job, you pay for your own wedding. Period.

DH and I were in our 20's, both working full time, and could only afford (about 100) guests, so that is what we did. There were no, "oh one more" guests list add ons, it was not a thing. We collected a list from both sides, told them what we could afford, and that is what it was. It meant some people could not attend, but they knew us well enough to understand, and we knew that we could/would see them otherwise - it did not have to be a wedding!

Weddings are an industry, and are extremely expensive, OP. I feel like those who think parents should pay for it are rather spoiled, since you asked. Throw a cheaper party, if that is what you want - by virtue of it not being a wedding, it will be considerably cheaper! Of course, if you have endless money, then you don't have to worry - but if it means you are retired, and cutting into your retirement, don't be foolish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my youngest at 38. We have a ‘marriage fund’ for all DC. They can decide to use it for a wedding or a down payment on a house or something else. They know about it and it will be given at the time of their wedding or after 33 if they chose to do something else with that $. It will not be an enormous amount of $ but the cost of a reasonable wedding.

You must be wealthy. The vast majority of people cannot save for retirement, college AND a “marriage fund.”

+1

PP must be VERY wealthy! I can't imagine normal feds or regular, every day jobs in this area allowing for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my youngest at 38. We have a ‘marriage fund’ for all DC. They can decide to use it for a wedding or a down payment on a house or something else. They know about it and it will be given at the time of their wedding or after 33 if they chose to do something else with that $. It will not be an enormous amount of $ but the cost of a reasonable wedding.

You must be wealthy. The vast majority of people cannot save for retirement, college AND a “marriage fund.”

+1

PP must be VERY wealthy! I can't imagine normal feds or regular, every day jobs in this area allowing for that.

(Or even the highest feds!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my youngest at 38. We have a ‘marriage fund’ for all DC. They can decide to use it for a wedding or a down payment on a house or something else. They know about it and it will be given at the time of their wedding or after 33 if they chose to do something else with that $. It will not be an enormous amount of $ but the cost of a reasonable wedding.

You must be wealthy. The vast majority of people cannot save for retirement, college AND a “marriage fund.”

+1

PP must be VERY wealthy! I can't imagine normal feds or regular, every day jobs in this area allowing for that.

I feel like even if they have enough money to save it for this "marriage fund," it's a weird priority.

[Anonymous]

So many of you selfish posters who had your weddings paid for by parents, spouses’ parents (or at least some money given to you for your wedding) are acting like Boomers right now. I got mine, now screw you and your “weird priorities.”

DH and I started saving for our future children’s college funds the day we got engaged. I started saving for both daughters’ weddings shortly after they were born. This money can be used for wedding, down payment, travel, graduate school, anything they like. It’s called paying it forward.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what age has to do with it. If you want to, and your child wants the support, and you have the money, you do. If not all three of those things are true, you don't want . We married around 30 and, as gainfully employed, grown adults, paid for our own wedding.

[Anonymous]

My parents helped to pay for my wedding, so we are saving up to do the same for my kids. My parents also helped with college, and I intend to do the same.

I don’t think parents have to save up for anything, whether it be college or weddings, but I also don’t think this is a wildly novel idea

[Anonymous]

There are no rules, silly. If you can afford to contribute and wish to do so, great. If not, don’t worry about it. Tell your kids now so they are aware.