Rules for 18yr. old High Schooler

[Anonymous]

Now that my son has turned 18 he wants to "modify" some rules, such as bedtime, curfues, electronic usage, chores and parental "guidance.

Rules as of now:

Bedtime: 10:30pm
Wake up: 7am. Be on time to school. He drives.
Curfue: 12am Friday and Saturday only. 1am if it's a special event.
Electronic usage: unlimited but electronics off at 10pm. Phone stays in the kitchen.
Chores: Room tidy, trash out, feed/walk the dog after school.

He basically wants complete independence with no rules... at all. He says we're too strict. Grades are good but could be better. Heading for college next year.

Personality: sweet and respectful but so forgetful and always distracted (mostly because he's glued to the phone).

Did you continue the rules for your 18 year old but still high schooler? or Did you completely go Laissez-faire style once they turned 18?

[Anonymous]

My kid was still 17 when he graduated, and he didn't have a bedtime. That seems like a reasonable rule to drop.

[Anonymous]

Nothing changed when my kids turned 18. They were still living under my roof and still attending HS. I don't think you're rules are overly strict. I might ease up on bedtime and electronic usage and then revert is wake up isn't happening or grades drop.

[Anonymous]

Sure relax some of the rule, but he Ned's more chores around the house. That's just another facet of adulthood that he's going to have to understand.

...with great power comes great responsibility...

[Anonymous]

*he needs*

[Anonymous]

Charge rent.

[Anonymous]

My 16 yo doesn't have a bedtime and we stopped taking electronics at night a while ago. I would let those go at 18. He can’t be up and loud when others are trying to sleep.

I would expect him to help out in the house if he lives there. Everyone should pitch in.

[Anonymous]

HAHA. If he's still in high school and pays no bills, that's a smooth "HELL NO."

He has some nerve negotiating with no leverage.

[Anonymous]

Who is paying for the car, car insurance and gas? Is it you? If so, ever more reason why his "demands" are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think an 18 year old needs to keep their phone in the kitchen at night time, wow.

He should also be able to choose his own bedtime at this point. Assuming he can get up for school and not be late, he needs to figure out bedtime on his own. Holy cow.

If these 2 things were eliminated, I bet he would feel a lot more empowered and not complain so much about other rules in place that actually matter.

[Anonymous]

Having a bedtime an 18 year old is certainly peculiar. But, ‘you do you.’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a bedtime an 18 year old is certainly peculiar. But, ‘you do you.’

Yeah, a bedtime for an 18 year old is crazy. Natural consequences. Stay up too late you're tired the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having a bedtime an 18 year old is certainly peculiar. But, ‘you do you.’

Yeah, a bedtime for an 18 year old is crazy. Natural consequences. Stay up too late you're tired the next day.

I can’t understand the level of control some mothers want over their kids (18!). I have sympathy for OP’s son. I know I would have been deeply unhappy if my parents set so many rules at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having a bedtime an 18 year old is certainly peculiar. But, ‘you do you.’

Yeah, a bedtime for an 18 year old is crazy. Natural consequences. Stay up too late you're tired the next day.

+2 the rest seemed fine. But controlling what time an adult goes to bed? Nope.

[Anonymous]

you've utterly failed at preparing your child for adulthood.