Will this make juggling 3 kids easier?

[Anonymous]

I currently have 2 kids, and DH really wants a 3rd. I have baby fever and am considering it, but am also happy to stop at 2. DH wants a 3rd badly and is willing to make all sorts of concessions to make that happen. He has agreed that if I go for the 3rd, I can stay home with the kids, handling childcare, cooking, and laundry. I will not be obligated to complete any cleaning beyond picking up after the kids a bit. All of the heavy duty cleaning will be outsourced, and the remainder chores picked up by DH. DH will babysit while I go on a weeklong vacation every year without the kids. DH will also babysit so I can continue some of my hobbies. But, I'm worried I will regret ruining my current setup of working from home and having a nanny. Even with a nanny, I know I won't be able to handle 3 kids while working full-time. Will the above keep my life manageable with 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

How old are your first two? With a newborn you might want some help with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Why is it too much for you with a nanny? Like you know your personality and it’s too much? Or you just assume it will be too much?

I have 3 kids (they were 5 and 3 when baby was born) and continued to work full time from home without a nanny. Kids went to daycare and I worked from home. Dh worked 60 hours a week and was little help during the week. It can be done.

[Anonymous]

It's not a transaction and this post sounds like one.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you work from home full time with 3 kids and a nanny? You may need to send the older ones to part day preschool so they’re not tethered to the newborn’s nap schedule but it would be fine. Or space yours out (that’s what we did). DC 1 and 2 were 5 and 7 when #3 came along so we just needed a nanny to watch 1 baby during school hours pretty much.

Also, your DH should watch the kids so you have time to yourself. That isn’t a negotiation. That is being a good partner. He isn’t babysitting either, it’s called parenting.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids, work from home FT but very flexible job and DH is not helpful at all during the week. We manage the ok, but it was easier when kids were younger. Now (10, 8 and 4.5) have lots of activities, friends, homework and a few days a week the nanny and I each take kids to different places. This mean that 2-3 days a week I stop working at 4. It’s fine because my work is flexible. All
Of this to say that 3 kids is a lot of work for one person alone unless you limit what kids do… we did not want to do that

[Anonymous]

Yeah, my husband said a lot of things before we had a third kid too. Didn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

I would never have kids with a man who refers to parenting as "babysitting." And if he doesn't clean or cook now, he's not going to do it well or consistently after you crank out a third baby.

[Anonymous]

Would rather keep the job and get extra help - even beyond nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP here. DH does more cleaning than me. Some cooking too, and a lot of grocery shopping. I call it babysitting in a tongue-in-cheek manner when either of us has both (or all) of the kids alone. We usually each take one kid or both handle both kids together.

I can't handle 3 kids with a nanny because the nanny will only be there while I'm working. And with 3 kids, someone is likely to wake up in the middle of the night or too early in the morning. I'd be too exhausted to concentrate on work with the interrupted sleep. There would also be more appointments for the household, which mostly falls onto me to organize.

[Anonymous]

Babysit? Your husband doesn't babysit as a parent. It sounds like you should stick with two.

[Anonymous]

Do you want a 3rd? Regardless of DHs opinion?

If so, I’d keep the job and the nanny. She will be fine. Increase salary accordingly.

The SAHM thing is not a good idea.

BTDT

[Anonymous]

Taking care of your own children isn’t “babysitting”

If I were in your shoes and also wanted a third, I would stay home but have part-time help with kids, how old are your children?

[Anonymous]

So you have two daughters?

[Anonymous]

For many of us having three kids isn’t as hard as it is for you OP. I definitely would have regretted leaving my not so flexible work in the office job while I used daycare and relying on someone else to support the family. If I were worried about everything you are to make this successful, I wouldn’t do it.