Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress

[Anonymous]

Have a 25 year old DC. They are intelligent, compassionate and academically brilliant (have been identified as gifted in school and graduated college with presidential scholarship).

They had a series of mental health issues for last two years. They have finished college (with social sciences double major) successfully in 2020 with pretty respectful GPA. They have not held stable jobs since graduation. During one of the mental health episodes, police was called for wellness check. Police was upset with DC's actions during a mental health breakdown and filed a case against DC. The case resulted in a PBJ outcome and a criminal misdemeanor record for DC.

They have been stable mental health wise (staying on medication, therapy etc) and looking for a job. But no one is giving them a chance. They have been truthful in disclosing the records and past mental health challenges with employers. Two employers offered job enthusiastically based on DC's interviews and rescinded later. Where is help when someone with mental health issues wants to move on and live a respectful life? DC is heartbroken and I am very frustrated. Please suggest if you know something can help.

[Anonymous]

Why is DC disclosing medical history. It’s.illegal to ask and isn’t even part of most background checks anymore.

[Anonymous]

Mental health can be disclosed during application process under the ADA question that most employers pose…
Does DC pass a background check with the police filing? if you don’t know, you should find this out. If it pops up in a background check, they are going to have a hard time getting jobs in most F500, govt, bank, finance sector, insurance companies, etc. And indeed offers will be rescinded.
Can your DC get in with a temp agency? And they can let the temp agency know they would like to be placed in Temp to Perm possible roles, at reputable companies. It will give them a chance to try out different companies and different roles for say a year, and it will boost their resume a little bit.

[Anonymous]

You should look at expunging the record.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know that what you describe would show up in a background check. Was there a conviction? You should hire an attorney to get it expunged and advise on how to answer the question about prior arrests. I’m sorry your DC is experiencing this. You sound like. Good parent.

[Anonymous]

This is heartbreaking. No advice but I’m sending hugs.

[Anonymous]

The police case resulted in peanut butter and jelly? What? Why do you assume everyone will know your random acronyms? If you want help spell things out.

Here's my help pending the above: stop talking about being schizophrenic or whatever the issue is. Just lie and say s/he was taking care of a beloved elderly relative at the end of their life and now they are ready to move on with their life. LIE.

[Anonymous]

It’s awesome that DC is getting offers. That shows she/he is recovering well and is smart + capable.

If the only hangup is work history, I agree with PP that sometimes the truth has to be stretched. There are services that will provide a “reference” to cover up a resume gap. Heck, you could be a “reference.” In 99pc of circumstances, such fabrication would be unethical. But you might be in the sliver of grey. Discrimination against mental health issues is unethical too. Do what you gotta do.

[Anonymous]

Id suggest consulting with an attorney due to background checks and stopping disclosure of MH/medical issues. She is never getting a job if she continues disclosing. Figure out how to explain the employment gap in other ways.

There are some jobs that might take a chance but not likely what you’re hoping for. I’m thinking of Starbucks, grocery stores and the like. Some come with union protection.

[Anonymous]

From my understanding, PBJ is probation before judgment. It does sound like something that will show up on a background check. If an employer has 2-3 candidates in mind, this can definitely be the thing that causes them to move on to a lower-risk candidate.

Often establishing a job history helps to move things forward. This can mean accepting something less prestigious or challenging. It could be working as a fitness instructor, administrative temping, taking a job in a small family-owned business (art gallery, graphic design company, retailer). Showing stability and responsibility in one job can open up doors to other jobs. It’s not a forever thing, just a stepping stone. This can also be a emotionally safer experience for someone with mental illness; it avoids the interpersonal and work stress of higher challenge environments.

Also, is there a way for DC to network into a more desirable position? As an example, one can pay dues to join a professional association and then get to know people by regularly attending events. Volunteering for events like the charity dinners/balls can also put one in touch with some folks who are connected in the corporate world. People who know your kid are more likely to be understanding during the hiring process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The police case resulted in peanut butter and jelly? What? Why do you assume everyone will know your random acronyms? If you want help spell things out.

Here's my help pending the above: stop talking about being schizophrenic or whatever the issue is. Just lie and say s/he was taking care of a beloved elderly relative at the end of their life and now they are ready to move on with their life. LIE.

Your post made me smile as I was thinking the same. Good advice too

[Anonymous]

Some solid options outlined by PPs.

I'll add this: Tell this adult to go out and do volunteer work until they land a paying job. Doesn't matter what - animal shelter, garden group, whatever.

They need to show up regularly, do the dirty work as asked, and be a team player. This will provide them with references which will help.

[Anonymous]

Echoing all the advice here but also: this is not “a series of mental health issues.” This is one issue—and a pretty serious one—that this adult will likely be living with permanently. Figuring out how to manage that in a work context is part of the task.

If I could encourage only one thing it would be to concentrate on W2 employment that confers credits towards eligibility for SSDI. The picture without it is quite bleak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mental health can be disclosed during application process under the ADA question that most employers pose…
Does DC pass a background check with the police filing? if you don’t know, you should find this out. If it pops up in a background check, they are going to have a hard time getting jobs in most F500, govt, bank, finance sector, insurance companies, etc. And indeed offers will be rescinded.
Can your DC get in with a temp agency? And they can let the temp agency know they would like to be placed in Temp to Perm possible roles, at reputable companies. It will give them a chance to try out different companies and different roles for say a year, and it will boost their resume a little bit.

* and FAANG

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The police case resulted in peanut butter and jelly? What? Why do you assume everyone will know your random acronyms? If you want help spell things out.

Here's my help pending the above: stop talking about being schizophrenic or whatever the issue is. Just lie and say s/he was taking care of a beloved elderly relative at the end of their life and now they are ready to move on with their life. LIE.

Your post made me smile as I was thinking the same. Good advice too

Probation Before Judgment. Lying is a REALLY bad thing to do if you want a job with a background check - which 98% of jobs do these days. Employers will not hire a liar.