Mom expects FaceTime every day

[Anonymous]

I need help managing my mom’s expectations. She thinks because I’m a SAHM I have time to FaceTime with my baby every single day. I tell her caring for my baby is a full-time job, as well as caring for the household (we don’t outsource anything). I told her when I’m not caring for baby I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher, taking care of our two dogs, or taking care of my own needs.

She says “it’s just 5 minutes a day”. I told her I will do my best, but sometimes I do forget and she gets upset. She will text me “awake?” Meaning is baby awake or “no call today?”. She makes it seem like FaceTiming her every day is such an easy task and she even made fun of me when I said somedays I just don’t have the time or it simply slips my mind. She also gets a whole day with my baby once per week. What can I say that is kind but firm?

[Anonymous]

This sounds horrid OP. I’m so sorry. Just stop FTing her after you have explained you can’t do this every day. Start ignoring her texts.

[Anonymous]

Block her. Unblock when you’re up to FaceTime.

Extreme? Probably but she clearly has no boundaries.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a nightmare. I’d move out of state

[Anonymous]

The reality is that you DO have the time, and you just don't want to. Be honest with yourself, and us. Because you could facetime her while folding laundry or cooking, etc. You just dont want to talk with her every day and that's okay.

So tell her "Mom, I can do every Wednesday and Sunday. But daily just isn't going to happen, sorry."

[Anonymous]

Switch to android. No FaceTime!

[Anonymous]

COMMUNICATE CLEARLY & KINDLY. For example, "Not possible today but Friday should work if you are available in morning."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that you DO have the time, and you just don't want to. Be honest with yourself, and us. Because you could facetime her while folding laundry or cooking, etc. You just dont want to talk with her every day and that's okay.

So tell her "Mom, I can do every Wednesday and Sunday. But daily just isn't going to happen, sorry."

She doesn’t want to talk to me. She just wants to see and talk to the baby (which is fine) it’s just hard to maneuver when I’m doing other tasks. My baby also takes two 2-hour naps and my mom works the night shift, so she sleeps
until 2:30 pm, then naps in the evenings. It’s hard to find a time that works for all.

[Anonymous]

Whenever free, take short video clips of baby, save it to give it to baby in future and also forward it to your mom and MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Switch to android. No FaceTime!

OP here. I know I said FaceTime but we actually video chat on Facebook because I have iPhone and she has an android.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever free, take short video clips of baby, save it to give it to baby in future and also forward it to your mom and MIL.

This is a good idea.

But she'll push this boundary too. I know the type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds horrid OP. I’m so sorry. Just stop FTing her after you have explained you can’t do this every day. Start ignoring her texts.

Do this. She sounds like my mom who a year ago on Xmas Ftim’d me at 8 am, ignored my Ftime at 3 pm (she was attending something w/my sister and her husband) and then called me the following day to tell me I had ruined her xmas because she did not get to see her grandkids (who were 8 months and 3) open their presents. Oh hell no. Your mom is an emotional vampire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that you DO have the time, and you just don't want to. Be honest with yourself, and us. Because you could facetime her while folding laundry or cooking, etc. You just dont want to talk with her every day and that's okay.

So tell her "Mom, I can do every Wednesday and Sunday. But daily just isn't going to happen, sorry."

She doesn’t want to talk to me. She just wants to see and talk to the baby (which is fine) it’s just hard to maneuver when I’m doing other tasks. My baby also takes two 2-hour naps and my mom works the night shift, so she sleeps
until 2:30 pm, then naps in the evenings. It’s hard to find a time that works for all.

You srsly can't set up a quick facetime while the baby is eating or playing or something?

[Anonymous]

Send her pics and videos shorter than 15 seconds. Even if the baby is sleeping she'll be really happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that you DO have the time, and you just don't want to. Be honest with yourself, and us. Because you could facetime her while folding laundry or cooking, etc. You just dont want to talk with her every day and that's okay.

So tell her "Mom, I can do every Wednesday and Sunday. But daily just isn't going to happen, sorry."

She doesn’t want to talk to me. She just wants to see and talk to the baby (which is fine) it’s just hard to maneuver when I’m doing other tasks. My baby also takes two 2-hour naps and my mom works the night shift, so she sleeps
until 2:30 pm, then naps in the evenings. It’s hard to find a time that works for all.

You srsly can't set up a quick facetime while the baby is eating or playing or something?

This is what I typically do. I really do my best to call daily. But if I miss one or two days out of the week, she blows it out of proportion. When in reality, we just had a busy day. She thinks it was intentional though. Maybe we went out or the baby was extra fussy. It just feels like a lot of pressure.