Teacher on American parenting

[Anonymous]

"You kids are only special to you!"

AMEN!

https://www.upworthy.com/teacher-whos-worked-overseas-shares-the-problem-with-american-kids

[Anonymous]

Now, if we could only post this in public places.

[Anonymous]

Wow, and old lady complaining that kids misbehave.

So enlightening.

[Anonymous]

Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment.

[Anonymous]

I think it's the parents misbehaving. Not all, of course, but more than before.

My 6th grader had a sub last week who was perhaps overly strict and a bit of a PIA, according to other teachers in the school. But, whatever. At least a sub was available.

She insisted that the kids were quiet and off their phones. Shocker, right? Perhaps she was overly insistent so a kid called his mom on his cell to complain in the middle of math. The mom asked to speak to the sub about the sub's behavior.

My DS said that the kid is a brat on normal days. Definitely appears enabled by his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the parents misbehaving. Not all, of course, but more than before.

My 6th grader had a sub last week who was perhaps overly strict and a bit of a PIA, according to other teachers in the school. But, whatever. At least a sub was available.

She insisted that the kids were quiet and off their phones. Shocker, right? Perhaps she was overly insistent so a kid called his mom on his cell to complain in the middle of math. The mom asked to speak to the sub about the sub's behavior.

My DS said that the kid is a brat on normal days. Definitely appears enabled by his parents.

I hope the sub told the parent to buzz off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment.

I've told my kids since they were older ES that they are special... to me, but not to the rest of the world. That rules apply to them as much as to the next person.

They are now teens, and they have both been counselors and tutors to kids, and they have both complained to me about unruly kids and how frustrating they are.

I looked at them and said, "Now you know how parents and teachers feel. Can you imagine the teacher having to deal with 30 kids per class? Make sure you behave in class." They say they do, and I've gotten no complaints about them. One is in college now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment.

I've told my kids since they were older ES that they are special... to me, but not to the rest of the world. That rules apply to them as much as to the next person.

They are now teens, and they have both been counselors and tutors to kids, and they have both complained to me about unruly kids and how frustrating they are.

I looked at them and said, "Now you know how parents and teachers feel. Can you imagine the teacher having to deal with 30 kids per class? Make sure you behave in class." They say they do, and I've gotten no complaints about them. One is in college now.

🤔 No child has ever thrived by their parents telling them they’re not special. All kids are special and unique, and need to grow into those character traits in a healthy way. Parenting a child well doesn’t mean you tell them there’s nothing special about them, what a weird take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment.

I've told my kids since they were older ES that they are special... to me, but not to the rest of the world. That rules apply to them as much as to the next person.

They are now teens, and they have both been counselors and tutors to kids, and they have both complained to me about unruly kids and how frustrating they are.

I looked at them and said, "Now you know how parents and teachers feel. Can you imagine the teacher having to deal with 30 kids per class? Make sure you behave in class." They say they do, and I've gotten no complaints about them. One is in college now.

🤔 No child has ever thrived by their parents telling them they’re not special. All kids are special and unique, and need to grow into those character traits in a healthy way. Parenting a child well doesn’t mean you tell them there’s nothing special about them, what a weird take.

DP. That’s not what she said and I agree with her. Telling your kids they are special and unique can often do more harm than good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the parents misbehaving. Not all, of course, but more than before.

My 6th grader had a sub last week who was perhaps overly strict and a bit of a PIA, according to other teachers in the school. But, whatever. At least a sub was available.

She insisted that the kids were quiet and off their phones. Shocker, right? Perhaps she was overly insistent so a kid called his mom on his cell to complain in the middle of math. The mom asked to speak to the sub about the sub's behavior.

My DS said that the kid is a brat on normal days. Definitely appears enabled by his parents.

I hope the sub told the parent to buzz off!

Wth?? We need to get phones out of schools asap. Yes during lunches too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment.

I've told my kids since they were older ES that they are special... to me, but not to the rest of the world. That rules apply to them as much as to the next person.

They are now teens, and they have both been counselors and tutors to kids, and they have both complained to me about unruly kids and how frustrating they are.

I looked at them and said, "Now you know how parents and teachers feel. Can you imagine the teacher having to deal with 30 kids per class? Make sure you behave in class." They say they do, and I've gotten no complaints about them. One is in college now.

🤔 No child has ever thrived by their parents telling them they’re not special. All kids are special and unique, and need to grow into those character traits in a healthy way. Parenting a child well doesn’t mean you tell them there’s nothing special about them, what a weird take.

DP. That’s not what she said and I agree with her. Telling your kids they are special and unique can often do more harm than good.

^Pp here.. exactly, and that is the problem that the teacher is addressing. All people are unique in their own way but that doesn't make them "special" in the sense that rules don't apply to them.

My kids are now teens, and they each have something special about them, a talent or ability that many others don't have. That still doesn't make them that special because there will always be someone who is more talented or has more ability than my kids do, and they know that.

DC was the top dog in a specific subject in their class group, and started to have an inflated ego about it. I was very mindful about this and kept telling DC that there are smarter kids out there who are better at this subject than they are. Now, in college, DC sees that. It did not lower their self esteem because I made sure that DC was realistic about their ability compared to other high achievers.

I do not want them to have an outsized sense of self. A good self esteem is important, but not an over inflated ego.

As parents, we need to teach our kids both - to have a good self esteem but not an over inflated ego.

Telling your kids that they are special and better than everyone else gives them an over inflated ego. Telling them that they are smart and talented, and working to achieve a goal but sometimes failing is an important part of that journey, is giving them good self esteem.

There's a difference between the two, and it doesn't mean telling your kids that they are "special", as in, better than everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment.

I've told my kids since they were older ES that they are special... to me, but not to the rest of the world. That rules apply to them as much as to the next person.

They are now teens, and they have both been counselors and tutors to kids, and they have both complained to me about unruly kids and how frustrating they are.

I looked at them and said, "Now you know how parents and teachers feel. Can you imagine the teacher having to deal with 30 kids per class? Make sure you behave in class." They say they do, and I've gotten no complaints about them. One is in college now.

🤔 No child has ever thrived by their parents telling them they’re not special. All kids are special and unique, and need to grow into those character traits in a healthy way. Parenting a child well doesn’t mean you tell them there’s nothing special about them, what a weird take.

DP. That’s not what she said and I agree with her. Telling your kids they are special and unique can often do more harm than good.

^Pp here.. exactly, and that is the problem that the teacher is addressing. All people are unique in their own way but that doesn't make them "special" in the sense that rules don't apply to them.

My kids are now teens, and they each have something special about them, a talent or ability that many others don't have. That still doesn't make them that special because there will always be someone who is more talented or has more ability than my kids do, and they know that.

DC was the top dog in a specific subject in their class group, and started to have an inflated ego about it. I was very mindful about this and kept telling DC that there are smarter kids out there who are better at this subject than they are. Now, in college, DC sees that. It did not lower their self esteem because I made sure that DC was realistic about their ability compared to other high achievers.

I do not want them to have an outsized sense of self. A good self esteem is important, but not an over inflated ego.

As parents, we need to teach our kids both - to have a good self esteem but not an over inflated ego.

Telling your kids that they are special and better than everyone else gives them an over inflated ego. Telling them that they are smart and talented, and working to achieve a goal but sometimes failing is an important part of that journey, is giving them good self esteem.

There's a difference between the two, and it doesn't mean telling your kids that they are "special", as in, better than everyone else.

Lady, you’ve got kids in college. From what I’ve seen lately, that’s not exactly the generation I want my parenting to produce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment.

I've told my kids since they were older ES that they are special... to me, but not to the rest of the world. That rules apply to them as much as to the next person.

They are now teens, and they have both been counselors and tutors to kids, and they have both complained to me about unruly kids and how frustrating they are.

I looked at them and said, "Now you know how parents and teachers feel. Can you imagine the teacher having to deal with 30 kids per class? Make sure you behave in class." They say they do, and I've gotten no complaints about them. One is in college now.

🤔 No child has ever thrived by their parents telling them they’re not special. All kids are special and unique, and need to grow into those character traits in a healthy way. Parenting a child well doesn’t mean you tell them there’s nothing special about them, what a weird take.

DP. That’s not what she said and I agree with her. Telling your kids they are special and unique can often do more harm than good.

^Pp here.. exactly, and that is the problem that the teacher is addressing. All people are unique in their own way but that doesn't make them "special" in the sense that rules don't apply to them.

My kids are now teens, and they each have something special about them, a talent or ability that many others don't have. That still doesn't make them that special because there will always be someone who is more talented or has more ability than my kids do, and they know that.

DC was the top dog in a specific subject in their class group, and started to have an inflated ego about it. I was very mindful about this and kept telling DC that there are smarter kids out there who are better at this subject than they are. Now, in college, DC sees that. It did not lower their self esteem because I made sure that DC was realistic about their ability compared to other high achievers.

I do not want them to have an outsized sense of self. A good self esteem is important, but not an over inflated ego.

As parents, we need to teach our kids both - to have a good self esteem but not an over inflated ego.

Telling your kids that they are special and better than everyone else gives them an over inflated ego. Telling them that they are smart and talented, and working to achieve a goal but sometimes failing is an important part of that journey, is giving them good self esteem.

There's a difference between the two, and it doesn't mean telling your kids that they are "special", as in, better than everyone else.

Lady, you’ve got kids in college. From what I’ve seen lately, that’s not exactly the generation I want my parenting to produce.

DP. Lol, good luck to you, parent of little kids. I’m sure your special, unique cohort will be the one to finally figure it all out. You’ve got this.

[Anonymous]

I think parents telling their kids they are special is completely and totally unrelated to the problems in schools and parenting. Majority of 3rd graders in the US cannot read. And it isn’t because their parents told them they were special too frequently.

[Anonymous]

I remember watching a mother getting something from the soda machine. She had her two year old press the button and then went on and on about how smart he was in an excited voice. How about saying thanks for your help sweetie! Stop exaggerating your child’s genius would be a good start.