Reply to Teacher on American parenting

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Teacher on American parenting"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Amen. You see it on here all the time. Parents try to curate a world in which their kid’s every single whim is catered to, instead of expecting them to adapt to their environment. [/quote]
I've told my kids since they were older ES that they are special... to me, [b]but not to the rest of the world.[/b] That rules apply to them as much as to the next person.

They are now teens, and they have both been counselors and tutors to kids, and they have both complained to me about unruly kids and how frustrating they are.

I looked at them and said, "Now you know how parents and teachers feel. Can you imagine the teacher having to deal with 30 kids per class?  Make sure you behave in class."  They say they do, and I've gotten no complaints about them. One is in college now.[/quote]

🤔 [b]No child has ever thrived by their parents telling them they’re not special. [/b]All kids are special and unique, and need to grow into those character traits in a healthy way. Parenting a child well doesn’t mean you tell them there’s nothing special about them, what a weird take. [/quote]

DP. That’s not what she said and I agree with her. Telling your kids they are special and unique can often do more harm than good.[/quote]
^Pp here.. exactly, and that is the problem that the teacher is addressing.  All people are unique in their own way but that doesn't make them "special" in the sense that rules don't apply to them.

My kids are now teens, and they each have something special about them, a talent or ability that many others don't have. That still doesn't make them that special because there will always be someone who is more talented or has more ability than my kids do,  and they know that.

DC was the top dog in a specific subject in their class group, and started to have an inflated ego about it.  I was very mindful about this and kept telling DC that there are smarter kids out there who are better at this subject than they are. Now, in college, DC sees that.  It did not lower their self esteem because I made sure that DC was realistic about their ability compared to other high achievers.

I do not want them to have an outsized sense of self.  A good self esteem is important, but not an over inflated ego.

As parents, we need to teach our kids both - to have a good self esteem but not an over inflated ego.

Telling your kids that they are special and better than everyone else gives them an over inflated ego. Telling them that they are smart and talented, and working to achieve a goal but sometimes failing is an important part of that journey, is giving them good self esteem.

There's a difference between the two, and it doesn't mean telling your kids that they are "special", as in, better than everyone else.[/quote]

Lady, you’ve got kids in college. From what I’ve seen lately, that’s not exactly the generation I want my parenting to produce. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics