Strange behaviors

[Anonymous]

Do you know someone who is super secretive about really (really) innocuous questions? People who answer "I don't know" to basically any question? Someone that is, to my knowledge, mentally well (ie: not paranoid schizophrenic). That person does not just do that to me, they do it to several other people - and there is no reason, but their being manipulative. The answer would not affect me (or several others, to varying degrees) either way, but after a while, I (and several others, to varying degrees) are wondering what their motive would be in not answering.

Think along the lines of: what is your favorite color? or what meal are you ordering? Suffice to say that whatever is being talked about is a matter of conversation, not anything that can be held against anyone or judged (which maybe the two examples given could be - but, also suffice to say that is the same level of being innocuous.)

[Anonymous]

Control

[Anonymous]

How is it manipulative or controlling if someone doesn't know what their favorite color is?

[Anonymous]

They don't like you.

[Anonymous]

Are they a little slow and uninterested in small talk? Because this might be my son with Asperger's and low processing speed. He can give you a precise answer to a technical question, but his favorite color? He might not actually know! And it takes him forever to order from the menu: basically he doesn't know until the waitress arrives, we all order, and he has to make a decision at that time.

[Anonymous]

I don't like to share too much about myself with most people. First of all, it's really none of their business. FWIW, I haven't had someone ask me my favorite color since I was 10 years old. Most people are just trying to get info to gossip about. Same with the ordering. Usually I try to order first so I don't let others influence my choice but sometimes I honestly cannot decide and want to see what others are ordering.

[Anonymous]

I worked with a woman who objected to using birth month ranges to break people into break out groups because she did not want anyone to know even to a three month range what her birth month is for privacy reasons.

[Anonymous]

I do this to people who are nosy or just ask too many questions prying into my personal life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don't like you.

I thought this originally, but then asked around, and this behavior is also shown with others. So no, not just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know someone who is super secretive about really (really) innocuous questions? People who answer "I don't know" to basically any question? Someone that is, to my knowledge, mentally well (ie: not paranoid schizophrenic). That person does not just do that to me, they do it to several other people - and there is no reason, but their being manipulative. The answer would not affect me (or several others, to varying degrees) either way, but after a while, I (and several others, to varying degrees) are wondering what their motive would be in not answering.

Think along the lines of: what is your favorite color? or what meal are you ordering? Suffice to say that whatever is being talked about is a matter of conversation, not anything that can be held against anyone or judged (which maybe the two examples given could be - but, also suffice to say that is the same level of being innocuous.)

LOL. OP, mind your business. I cannot imagine any situation in which you (and "several others") have a good reason to keep bothering this person. Also, the fact that the only explanation you can come up with is that they are "manipulative" shows me how little ability you have to reflect on the situation.

Just stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't like you.

I thought this originally, but then asked around, and this behavior is also shown with others. So no, not just me.

PP again. OMG, just stop!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Control

Makes sense, in this instance, and that is what the other people who have experience this behavior are mentioning, too (manipulation and control, which makes sense, in this instance).

Note to other PPs: the color and also the food examples are not exact examples, but the degree of relevance/importance is the same.

Other PP who noted coworker that refused to give a three month window for birth month - great example, but the information asked is truly innocuous, not nosy, and not useful for literally anything, at all.

Are people really this paranoid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't like you.

I thought this originally, but then asked around, and this behavior is also shown with others. So no, not just me.

PP again. OMG, just stop!

Well, the situation warrants this person having a baseline ability to interact with other humans. Why so defensive?

[Anonymous]

They don’t want to make small talk with you or the other people mentioned.

How do you know this person? Are they are a coworker? If so, you might be describing me I hate small talk during work meetings, and would say “I don’t know, now how about this project issue…”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like to share too much about myself with most people. First of all, it's really none of their business. FWIW, I haven't had someone ask me my favorite color since I was 10 years old. Most people are just trying to get info to gossip about. Same with the ordering. Usually I try to order first so I don't let others influence my choice but sometimes I honestly cannot decide and want to see what others are ordering.

Okay, so if your default is "most people are just trying to get info to gossip about" - that is how you treat other people, because you think this, and you think other people do also?