I don’t want to be my sister’s plastic surgery care taker

[Anonymous]

My younger and immature sister signed me up to be her plastic surgery caretaker. I offered to go with her for the consultation for support but that didn’t mean I would be the one helping her after surgery. I told her to tell the surgeon she’d think about it after her consultation and we could decide what was best and who should care for her after the surgery if she does it but the plastic surgery office coordinator aggressively wrangled her into picking a surgery date and she forked over $2K right then and there and put my name on the caretaker/emergency contact paperwork. I really don’t want to do it and I think she was bamboozled into saying okay to the surgery and not given time to think about it. I have tried to persuade her to get another consultation and that I didn’t like what the plastic surgeon’s office did and that I don’t want to be her caretaker but she says she won’t cancel the appointment. She also hasn’t sought out another person to take over after surgery care and will owe the plastic surgeon $10K if she fails to cancel 2 weeks before the surgery date which is approaching soon. She is very angry with me that I don’t want to take care of her after surgery. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Well, what does it entail, OP? If it's minor, is that such a burden? You could always do a terrible job, and then she'll be sure to avoid putting your name down in the future

[Anonymous]

I mean, you’re her sister and went with her to the appointment, I think you should take care of her after. You’re going to punish her because she didn’t do what you wanted her to do by making her suffer? I was expecting this post to be about how she wants you to fly across the country to take care of her but you have a job and 2 kids and can’t do it. You can, you are you pissed and want to back out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, what does it entail, OP? If it's minor, is that such a burden? You could always do a terrible job, and then she'll be sure to avoid putting your name down in the future

It’s not minor. It’s breast implants and a tummy tuck with lipo. Recovery is expected to be 2 weeks at home and 6 weeks of light duty. She won’t be allowed to carry anything over 10lbs for 6 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, what does it entail, OP? If it's minor, is that such a burden? You could always do a terrible job, and then she'll be sure to avoid putting your name down in the future

It’s not minor. It’s breast implants and a tummy tuck with lipo. Recovery is expected to be 2 weeks at home and 6 weeks of light duty. She won’t be allowed to carry anything over 10lbs for 6 weeks.

Ugh. No way. She really should have asked for your permission first. I would pitch a fit, louder than hers.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her to figure it out herself. She is making her own (bad) decisions and it has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, what does it entail, OP? If it's minor, is that such a burden? You could always do a terrible job, and then she'll be sure to avoid putting your name down in the future

It’s not minor. It’s breast implants and a tummy tuck with lipo. Recovery is expected to be 2 weeks at home and 6 weeks of light duty. She won’t be allowed to carry anything over 10lbs for 6 weeks.

Yeah, that's not minor. Not sure what you should do as her sister, but wanted to chime in to say that when I had a consultation for my breast reduction I was given an estimate that was good for 6 months and I was encouraged to go home and think about it instead of looking to schedule a surgery that day. I think I scheduled my surgery several months later.

[Anonymous]

Are you unable to do it or is it just that you disapprove of the surgery?

Maybe the increased self-confidence will help her land a partner and they can be the one to take care of her after the next surgery.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I would start investigating this practice ASAP and persuading your sister to go elsewhere. I would trade your help post-surgery for guarantees that she will shop around and find the most responsible and professional center.

It's better to be out 2K than be out 10K and have botched surgery, or worse, die. This outfit stinks to high heaven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you unable to do it or is it just that you disapprove of the surgery?

Maybe the increased self-confidence will help her land a partner and they can be the one to take care of her after the next surgery.

I don’t disapprove of the surgery but I don’t like how aggressive they were in getting a down payment not giving her time to process what needs to be done. I also don’t have 6 weeks of my life to at minimum: sponge bath her, give meds to, clean her surgical drains and bandages, wrap in compression garments, meal prep, care for her cat that gets medications, clean her apartment etc. I told her we should consider a post surgery at home nurse and house keeper but she didn’t look into that.

[Anonymous]

Tell her no way. 2 weeks of care is an insane ask of anyone.

The money isn’t your problem. That’s her problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you gotten plastic surgery?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. No way would I support my sister getting unnecessary surgery like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you gotten plastic surgery?

No, but I’ve gone with friends to their consults as support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you gotten plastic surgery?

No, but I’ve gone with friends to their consults as support.

Then based on your experiences, you can tell your sister what’s wrong with her consult. Different doctor?